Birthday gift

I once got someone like her a card that read "Rub here to feel SPECIAL today" (the word "special" was embossed) and inside the card I wrote something like "Hope this does it for you".

People like that are just annoying, I say to them "All you have to do with a gift is to gracefully (or gratefully) receive it. It's not that hard!"

I fore one wouldn't buy anyone anything again if they rubbished what I'd spent time and effort over. However some feel obliged. How about an Oxfam Unwrapped Charity Gift? A Pile of Poo is included! At least someone would appreciate your kindness.

A lump of coal seeing as she has been a bad girl

ginny

Put nothing in a box with a label saying “ a little box of nothing as nothing pleases you’.

I’m feeling a bit off today with people who give no thought for the feelings of others . Sometimes they need a bit of their own medicine.

Ginny - brilliant!

Just send a card, preferably one of those on-line ones which are truly awful - always assuming, of course, that she has a computer.

Other thn that nothing. Why waste your money?

I think you've done it long enough, with bad results. So this year, give her "nothing" - and see how she likes that. Probably she won't like it, either, because she won't have what to scorn. But that's now her problem, not yours.

A bag of sour grapes flavoured sweet drops .

Get her something you know she will totally hate. For instance, if you know she hates spiders, get her a book about them with a big picture of one on the cover. Or if she never bakes/cooks, get her a book of complicated gourmet recipes. If she never gardens, get her a book about how to cultivate rhododendrons or grow marrows. If you really want to be insulting, a tatty second hand book. (My husband was once given 2 really tatty old paperbacks wrapped up together by a weird and unpleasant member of his family, as a gift. One of them even had writing inside it and passages underlined. And they weren't books he would have had any interest in anyway.) Or a bottle of cheap obviously mens' aftershave.

I like Ginnys suggestion but how about adopting an animal or donating to charity in her name. Your money will be well spent and appreciated and if she doesn't like that I certainly wouldn't bother in future . This is coming from someone with a sister who is the same. I adopted a penguin at the local zoo and gave her the certificate and said that she seemed to have everything and the zoo are struggling following the pandemic. Her family thought it was great so she didn't have the nerve to complain ?

Different coloured face masks.

I like the adopt an animal idea above, especially if it's one she wouldn't be fond of. Name it after her. She would get updates from the charity too .

OR a Count Your Blessings journal. You could put the first entry - having a caring sister.

OR a DVD of The Grumpy Old Women.

Last year my sister e mailed me a catalogue, full of lovely scarves/jewellry etc. before my b'day and told me to choose what I wanted, and she'd get it for me! Actually, I was thrilled - not much effort on her behalf but it meant I got something I loved!

A gadget for removing hard skin off her feet. Or a pet mouse complete with cage. Both these things happened in our family!

Nasal hair waxing kit?

I like the box of nothing idea from Ginny but not sure I'd be brave enough to do that! ?

I think you will feel better if you give to charity in her name - a worthwhile gift and you can still be the person you want to be. Don't be drawn into being mean yourself - this is not how you want to be, or how you want to feel. She makes her choices - you don't have to let her drive your choices in a direction which would in the end not help you feel OK about yourself. If you are kind, she has nothing to react against - and possibly she will recognise and be influenced by your kindness.

Agreed Applegran.

Does she give you presents? If so you could just return her last present to you, or buy her exactly the same!

I’d give her a box of fresh air!

Something that involves polystyrene?a tasteless bean bag...filled with it lol

Ideal. Give her a card saying nothing pleases her, so you've got her nothing for her birthday!! She should be pleased.

Why would you stoop to such a low level? If your well intentioned gifts over the years have been unwanted and unappreciated just acknowledge her birthday with a card and good wishes. Why waste money on a tacky gift (tomorrow's rubbish and landfill) or bother with such awful behaviour? Surely you are better than that. ?

Unfortunately I have a daughter like that.

I could never surprise her with a gift as it wouldn’t be what she wanted. And I should have asked her apparently.

It completely takes the pleasure out of giving.

I once knew someone who sent a house brick in the post and 'forgot' to put stamps on it - obviously the recipient was desperate to know what it was so paid the excess postage! Would need to be something heavy you can pop in the postbox though!

I have experienced your feelings with a close relative- I chose the Oxfam gift buying some chickens for someone overseas in a deprived area - I think it got the message across whilst at the same time I didn’t feel/nobody else could say I’d done something nasty!!!