The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

Ahem. Lins I could be wrong but I don’t think Lemon meant for you to put the turnip wedges quite where you have shoved them. The Admiral will find them quite uncomfortable when he sits down ?

There are some naked vicars sitting round a candle I brought to get warm saying "bless me what a night." I'm hoping that's what they said.
Doodle is snuggled up with the llama in a puddle. Her bakewell pudding looks a bit soggy.
Lemon is flat out on the cellar floor showing off her broderie anglaise bloomers. Unseemly for a nun.
LauranOrder is doing her best to sober them all up. A difficult task when you've had so many cocktails and poteen.

Another great night Lemon although too many vicars and nuns not many tarts, unusual for the Argy.
The cocktails went down well, Several of the clergy have left with a barrel or two under their cassocks to save on the communion wine.
The disco was a bit flat, Plough the Fields and Scatter was subject to a few sniggers from Doodle and AGA who do their best to do just that. Lins rendition of 'Those in Peril' had the Admiral in tears and when all the vicars got down on their knees calling for Father Witchart, who is apparently in Devon, Thor flounced off to the cellar and I had to help myself to the poteen.
Doing my best to sober everyone up with a chorus of Hallelujah.

Yes indeed another good nite at the Argy.
The tarpaulin seems to have kept most of the rain away and the Admiral said he’d get some of his sailor chaps to come and repair it Monday.
AGA that latest poteen mix was excellent. I gave some to the llama and we have now bonded. He’s quite cozy to cuddle up to.
Laura I agree about the disco. The high point was Terry Wogan and the floral dance.?
The floor is still damp so I’ve arrange for The fire brigade to come in Monday and dry us off.......if they have time they’ll pump out the water too.

Urrrrrrrgh! What am I doing in the cellar? Why is it all damp?
Good crop of mushrooms mind you.???????
Another successful money making night if I am not mistaken,but those vicars were all a bit all gas and gaiters weren’t they? Oh! It’s all coming back to me now, we have a huge hole in the roof thanks to a loose cannon?
Somebody get me a large Vow Of Silence please.?

Doodle I'm glad you and the llama have bonded. He is a happy animal now. I don't know what the RSPCA would think of his drinking habits though.
Lemon the admiral and his friends paid £3 each to go down to the cellar for a glimpse of your bloomers. Another £90 for the Argy coffers. I knew you'd be pleased.
Laura your rendition of Halleluja certainly cleared the bar. All running out holding their heads and saying "What was in that poteen!"

AGA we are very close now. I have named him Gnasher (after his bottom biting activities)
One good tot of poteen a day and he’s quiet as a lamb.
lemon’s not still down in the cellar showing off her bloomers is she. Time she came up and helped with the clearing up.
Come on Gnasher I can use you as a sponge to soak up the water. ?

Doodle you can train Gnasher to get rid of the hanger's on at closing time. Teeth marks in the posterior are painful.

Grand idea AGA.....why didn’t we think of that before now?
£90 for such little work ( actually, none on my part since I was blotto.) They were spectacular bloomers though.

I see Doodle and Gnasher have mopped out the bar, great teamwork! Anything to eat round here, am starving today?
Are these plates of what look like caviare going spare?

Lins ??Best poteen ever, now here’s five bob, go and buy more spuds.There was a certain aftertaste to it mind you, am hoping you took my socks out the pail before you began the brewing process?

Laura I can see you will be an asset to The Argy, you’ll do for us, rough as ye are.?

By the way, we are a barman short, as Kev ran off with the vicars.Thor and Achilles are rebelling against doing his share of the work, so could somebody run off down the newsagents and put a card in the window...to read: experienced man needed to serve, no references required, cash in hand only,
For well known local bar The Argy Bargy, Dockside Terrace.

We’ll see what turns up, and do interviews this week.?

Lemon it's best you don't know what was in the poteen or what we found at the bottom of the vat but the admiral has lost his long johns ........

Please don't give the job to Legover Larry.

Hang on a sec. Aren't we all supposed to be ordering on our mobiles or something?

Can't get the hang of this.

Maybe we could all just pop and sit on tables outside instead. Or on the garden wall

Well green you can sit on a wall outside if you like....we serve customers anywhere, even in the cellar at busy times.
Otherwise sit anywhere that’s dry in the bar....we had a slight accident with a cannon in here the other night.
I recommend the poteen or a pint of local ale ‘Dockers Delight’ it will put hairs on your chest.?
No mobiles allowed in the bar!

well greengreengrass I hope you don't make a mess when you pop, took us ages to clean up after vicars and Gnasher

Place still a bit damp and there’s more water in the cellar. Don’t forget the Fire brigade are coming tomorrow to sort it out. I will be here to take charge and make sure everything is well pumped especially the firemen.
AGA and Laura the sailors are coming to mend the roof. I trust you will lend them a hand. ?
lemon please take your bloomers off the washing line. The locals are worried, they think we’re being invaded by a purple space ship.
Greengg I wouldn’t sit on one of those tables if I were you, you never know what you might catch ? (and I don’t mean coronavirus) ?

Green the Argy special poteen will scare off any virus.
Doodle I gave the sailors some poteen and a few of Lemon's cocktails so they are fast asleep on the roof but they are stopping the rain from coming in as a few of them are quite large. I will send Laura up there to sober them up. Her singing seems to do the trick.

That’s great AGA . You send Laura to sort out the sailors. In the mean time I am supervising .....the firemen in the cellar, ?. There is much pumping to be done. ?

I hope there won't be any fireman's lifts Doodle. I know what you are like with uniformed men.

Donna Summer

Green is that the Donna Summer who works in Back'em Barry's Betting Emporium? The one opposite the "Private Shop" on Pigstrotters Alley. There's always a queue of men in long grey macs waiting to go in, Most of them are Argy regulars, even the llama was there.

What’s the significance of Donna Summer ?or Donna anybody?

Now, to the knotty problem of what will be happening on Friday, since none of you has come up with anything so far, how about we have a Jane Austen Nite? A bit of class eh?
I shall send a telegram down to the docks, the Admiral will
Want to know what to wear ( Mr Darcy outfit?) He could wear
A long wet white shirt and no breeches ( swoon!)

I rather fancy wearing a sprigged muslin gown with puffed sleeves and my hair in curls on top.I shall tap a fireman on the hand with my fan and say things like ‘Oh la sir! You do like to tease a poor young girl with your wit’ ( before slapping him harder round the chops and downing my pint of poteen.)

I shall bring my embroidery to do as I sit daintily sipping my poteen. We'd better watch AGA and Doodle as they say 'unhand me sir'. Doodle will choke on the words and AGA will swoon.
I suspect dear Greengreen will spill Donna Kebab down her Bodice.

I should be careful Lemon that you don't look like the llama with your curls on top, the Admiral may well reject your advances.