The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

I should be careful Lemon that you don't look like the llama with your curls on top, the Admiral may well reject your advances

Not from what I've heard Laura. In fact, anything resembling llamas and sheep is a definite turn on for the Admiral. Apparently.

I do hope that Captain Wentworth won't take much persuasion to accompany me to the cellar when he hears the gentle rustle of my skirt. Oh I'm blushing behind my fan at the very thought.

I'm going to come with wet hair and a very wet dress on, a la Jane Bennett. And then I'll recline on the moth eaten sofa, in high fever, whilst you all run around and look after me.

Tell him to mind where he puts his sword Laura those officers are devils when in the cellar with young ladies.

Chewie I do hope that Sir Hans Solo has marked your dance card and will sweep you off your feet as hirsute as you are. Look out I think the llama is eating your bonnet

Lemon devils in the cellar is what one is hoping for my dear

I've had my card marked by better men than Hans Solo, in the past Laura!

Did I tell you I have recruited a new bar man? His name is
Gloopy ( well....it isn’t, but his name is unpronounceable and something like Gloopy) he seems happy to answer to it anyway.He’s Greek by the way, tall dark and reasonably handsome.He and Thor get on alright, but he has issues with our other Greek worker, Achilles.We have to keep them apart!

I hope we will all join in the quadrilles and try not to trip over the firemen.

Is Lins gentille enough to play the piano, My Old Man's a Dustman is not really appropriate.

Oooh a bit of class for a change. I like that.
I shall come as the drama queen. You know, the one with the heaving bodice who keeps saying “Whatever will become of us”. I will have my bosoms up under my chin and a low cut frock with a big bustle at the back, and I will keep having an attack of the vapours so that the Admiral will have to wave smelling salts under my nose. I’m getting over excited now at the thought of it.

Doodlebeware of the bodice rippers. There will be plenty of them about.
I have left my calling card at Mr Darcy's and Mr Bingley's. aka the Admiral and the Captain. They will be in attendance with other rich young men tomorrow.
Laura I may need a winch to help lace my bodice with your help. Not easy to get a 20 inch waist these days.
Lemonthe llama ,Gnasher, want to come as the family dog and he wants a costume. May need to humour him.

I think we can arrange for llama to be the family dog for the night, can we teach him to say ‘ruff ruff’ ?Although that sounds a bit Elizabethan, and we are Georgian ( so no Victorian bustles Doodle you hussy.)Although a low cut frock is acceptable, as always.

Gnasher just wants a nice collar and Thor has offered to make him one from one of his leather thongs. The thought of Thor in a leather thong has made me feel quite faint. Either that or trying to squeeze a 60 inch waist down to twenty.

The fire crew will all be here by the way, they say they will be officers and gentlemen ( that’ll be a first!)
What delicacies can you all rustle up at short notice? I wonder if marmite sandwiches were around back then??
What kind of bonnet will you all be wearing, pray tell? Mine is bedecked with feathers and pink ribbons.

My waist is smaller than yours AGA ( although it started off larger!)?Am now a svelte 16 inch waist, thanks to the efforts of Madame Pom Pom and her boutique workers, four of them worked tirelessly to get me laced up and into this costume.Apparently it will all be fine if I don’t eat or drink and only breathe once every 15 seconds.

We will have to see who swoons first Lemon. I will wait till I see the most handsome man and faint at his feet. He will then have to resuscitate me. He is bound to be bowled over by my bonnet adorned with cherries if the darned birds don't eat them all first.

I keep admiring myself in the mirror....gorgeous silver and pink empire line dress with a matching little cutaway jacket,
Pink satin shoes and a plum and pink coloured bonnet ( complete with, err, pigeon feathers.) I look so young! And slim! Must take a selfie......now if I can only not sleep, breathe and eat and drink for another day, all will be well, otherwise, if I’m unlaced am likely to go off like a rocket.

I shall be sitting at the piano at the back of the bar, if anyone wants me, practising my playing and singing to give pleasure
To all , oh la! What shall I perform first? I know....
My rendition of ‘yes, we have no bananas’ will bring tears to the eye.

You sound gorgeous Lemon. Just be careful the laces don't snap when you are flirting with Mr Darcy. Not a good look if you burst out.
The llama is prancing around in his new collar. Thor has stuck some sparkly beads on it and Gnasher looks quite a dashing fellow.

Along with 'knees up mother brown' will give the evening a touch of class.

What a little cutie Gnasher is in his new collar. Nice of Thor to give him one of his thongs.
Oh puff I wanted a bustle lemon. If I can’t have one I shall just have to wear two corsets. One for my ..........10 inch waist ..beat that lemon .. and one to reign the voluptuous bottom in. I’m now off to Madame Pom Pom who has enlisted the help of a couple of burly builders to tighten my corsets.

AGA my maid has put together a contraption to pull in my waist, she has been pedalling since 3 pm and I am now a 24" waist but my bosoms are about 52", all that blubber had to go somewhere. I shall send my maid to help you as soon as she's tied me in.
I doubt I'll enjoy one of Lemons delightful cocktails as my chin is wedged in to my cleavage.
The sooner Lord Burley-Bilder unlaces me the better.
Doodle, please beware of Gloopy, he is not all he seems to be, men in red britches and yellow frilly shirts are not as gentlemanly as Michael Portillo.
Chewbacca plenty of conditioner if you are determined to arrive with wet hair otherwise it will dry too quickly because of your hot fevered brow. I will throw a bucket of poteen over you as I pass in order to help your Jane Bennet look.

Gloopy is settling in well, and has already made cocktails for tomorrow so I don’t have to get blotto testing them out this time, anyhoo.....they sound truly bloody marvellous ( as dear Elizabeth Bennett would have said.)
Lady AGA’s Fan: pernod, amarretto, babycham with a dash of Cif??
Lovely Lemongrove’s Bonnet: Scotch, cassis, cognac with a squirt of lemon Flash??
Doodle’s Derry Air: Guinness, rum, ginger ale with a hint of
Tesco bleach.??
Palely loitering Laura: white wine,poteen, voddy, with ice cubes, and a dash of bicarb and a sprig of mint.??
Chewy’s Bouncing Bodice: gin, peach brandy, tia maria with a sprinkling of apple flakes and buster drain.??
mmmmmmm, must just try one or two before bedtime,
Cheers!

Ooh lemon Can’t wait till tomorrow. Please ask Gloopy to set my drinks up for me on the bar for when I arrive. I’ll have an AGA and a Doodle to start. A double Chewy to follow and I’ll finish with a Lemongrove and Laura chaser........
That should get the evening off to a good start. ?