Uncalled for comments

Sarahmob

Lucca can I reassure you that I haven’t taken umbrage and left the thread. I’m still following and reading the comments ?

I wasn’t talking about you !! It was a general comment.

How unkind,

Not so, Furret, merely pointing out that Sarahmob said she had opened a can of worms but then decided to 'step back' from the thread.

She then came back to say she was still reading the posts.

Hardly surprising really.

Cans of worms are only useful for fishing trips.
Threads like this rarely end well......but maybe this one could be the first, who knows??

varian

Is there a kind way of saying "you are wrong"?

But the other poster may not be wrong unless their facts and/or statistics are erroneous.

If it's a viewpoint which differs from someone else's view then it is not necessarily wrong, just different.

MawB2

Oh dear - another thread exhorting us to be nice to each other which has had exactly the opposite effect.
Twas ever thus.

MawB2 they never end well, do they!

Train crash in slow-mo!

Aren't you the one doing the nasty bullying tickingbird. You've obviously got a down on merlotgran.

You've had several goes at her.

Thank you for illustrating my earlier point so well. I have not had any “goes” at Merlotgran. She directed comments at me and I responded. It’s the usual pattern these discussions take. Nothing in my earlier posts was directed at Merlotgran and, if my memory serves me well, I have never had any dealings with Merlotgran so have no reason to have a “down” on her.

It’s just more of the same old, same old.

I sometimes think that a thread reduces to just a few people after something nasty has happened. I know lots of support goes on in PMs but it would also be good if supporters did the same on the thread. It might stop those being attacked from feeling so hurt.

Well put Cabbie21.

merely pointing out that Sarahmob said she had opened a can of worms but then decided to 'step back' from the thread.

We had a friend who was expert at this. Make a contentious point then sit back and watch everyone else become more heated as they discussed it, sipping his ?
We do miss him.

I think that was the OP wasn't it? Set the hare running and sit back and watch the fun.

I'm fairly new. I was dumb to fall for it. I'll know better next time ?

Thank you for your support, Illte.

She directed comments at me and I responded

She ie merlotgran asked you a question which you answered in a passive aggressive manner, tickingbird.

Passive aggressive - moi? I think anyone on here familiar with me knows I don’t do snide or passive. I say it as I see it.

Some may call I say it as I see it rude and aggressive without the passive.

Nonnie

I sometimes think that a thread reduces to just a few people after something nasty has happened. I know lots of support goes on in PMs but it would also be good if supporters did the same on the thread. It might stop those being attacked from feeling so hurt.

That is a very perceptive comment Nonnie.
I hold my hands up to coming out with some spontaneous, out of the box, "maybe" type comments sometimes. There is always one poster who picks apart every little segment of my post to shout me down with questions like what do you know? Little do we know what anyone knows!

Nonnie that is a good point.
However, having myself come to the defence of some who have been bullied on threads, I find that posters are then accused of being in a clique or even a "coven" ?‍♀️

What does passive-aggressive mean?
No I'm not stirring it, just curious.

I'm not sure either Fennel but I take it as meaning having digs at people?

I'd never heard of it before I joined GN!

Passive-aggressive behaviours are those that involve acting indirectly aggressive rather than directly aggressive.

I can't believe that the term passive aggressive is not understood. This entire thread has become passive aggressive!
Passive aggression is not listening to the other but instead seeing everything as a personal attack and immediately responding in defensive mode and then denying all knowledge of doing so. 'I was only just........'. Poor old OP.

Oh well that's not me then. I've never mentioned the OP!

merlotgran

Sarahmob

Lucca can I reassure you that I haven’t taken umbrage and left the thread. I’m still following and reading the comments ?

Of course you are. Otherwise it would be a waste of a can of worms.

Is it just possible that the OP has a life outside GN or has more important things going on in her life? Not everyone is on tenterhooks to see what people they don't even know have to say nor do they feel the need to respond to all the posts on a thread they've started. Some might even want to have time to ponder what has been written before they reply.
Maybe these sort of threads about kindness, etc., keep happening because there is a lot of perceived unkindness on GN so surely that should be food for thought.

Passive aggressive is being negative about something but not being direct about it. 'Ok, you have the last word.' means that if the other person speaks they look like they won't let the argument drop, and takes the last word for the speaker - that sort of thing.

'Just my opinion', 'I will get shouted down for this, but . . .' are other examples, as is agreeing to do something you don't want to do, then being 'ill' at the last minute rather than just saying that you'd rather not.

So yes, it's often having digs at people, but thinly disguised as being 'nice', or, ironically, as being 'kind'. It's very dishonest, really.

What's wrong with Just my opinion? Why is that passive- aggressive?

Does it not mean just that? Posters do get castigated for expressing an opinion on GN as though that is wrong and are then often asked to back up their post with researched facts and statistics when they are just stating what they think.

That's my opinion.
Stated as plainly as possible, neither passively nor aggressively I hope.

Some may call I say it as I see it rude and aggressive without the passive.
I wondered when you’d join the fray Callistemon!

I call making up posts and comments and attributing them to others, out and out aggressive, not to say sly and deceitful but hey ho.

Merlotgran asked me if I’d care to point out any nasty/bullying posts I’ve seen on GN. I declined - I have a life. I pointed out she was free to look for some. Now I’m a bully!!

Nice try but it won’t wash.