The WI what is your experience

I don’t know what WIs are like now. A lot of Gransnetters say they go for the talks and/or social aspect. It was originally formed to teach housewifery things and then when I was a member in the 1950s. 60sand 70s, they were campaigning for the government to do various improvements as well as being a friendly sociable place to go and learn new things.

What about Naitonal Women's Register? I joined in the 1980s and the left when I went back to full-time work. I rejoined after I retired. In the 1980s many of us were members of it and National Childbirth Trust which supports mothers. NWR (National Housewives register back then) says there is more to women than being housewives and mothers. We meet in each other s houses, pay the hostess a small fee for refreshments which are nearly always shop bought. We pay a little more when we have a guest speaker. Annual fees are £25.00. there are some very interesting speakers and activities.

A friend and I were asked to join as they were short of members. I now know why. I have lived here for forty years but the dear ancients treated us a newcomers and were so set in their ways.
I left after trying to fit in after a couple of years. My reasons were: it was very boring, the committee held centre stage for at least an hour telling us what we already knew from the county newsletter; I was always being asked to contribute something; the speakers were mostly VERY verbose and boring and lastly I objected that the bulk of the quite high subscription went to central office leaving a small group with minimal funds to hire decent speakers.

I am astonished to read all these posts from people with similar experiences to mine. I thought that I’d just been unlucky with the first one and assumed I’d be fine in the second one which turned out to be false. I’ve talked to other people who’ve told me not to bother joining x, y or z groups in the local area because they’re just the same.

I’m envious of the people who have a really good friendly club and enjoy going. I think though, even those should be aware of how welcoming they are to new people, particularly if they’re on their own. In normal times, I go to a singing group which has led me to join other things here, it’s just a pity that 2020 seems to be wiped out as to social gatherings. Roll on next year!

I could apply all observations of cliques, saved chairs, being ignored, old members resenting younger new members etc. to U3A.
I went to 3 different groups and stuck it out for 18months before I left. I was being judged by people who did not know me at all....just made assumptions about people without knowing them in any way.

The snobbery was breath taking, people excluded by being ignored when speaking, not included in outings despite it being openly discussed in front of me/new comers. So rude.

If you hadn't had a high powered job, or been to university you were low life. I have met similar at a coffee morning group here where all they seemed to do was gossip about neighbours and drink one coffee after another...nothing interesting or stimulating or informative. A waste of 2 hours. And older members who won't even look at you.

I won't bother with WI. I suspect more of the same behaviours from certain personalities.

The unfortunate experiences described are not confined to WI groups. I have experienced much the same with other groups eg Ladies' Club, Friends of School, mother and toddler group. It seems to be human nature sometimes.

hallgreenmiss- quite right. It is human nature. Cliques form. Newcomers don't always fit in. Some people love pompous committee business others are smaller and friendlier. That's life!

This has been mentioned before, but shock! horror! Gransnet can be seen as cliquey by some, particularly new posters.

We all can be guilty of wanting to seem ‘well in’, and newcomers can often be made to feel a real ‘newbie’, whether WI, Gransnet, Church Group or whatever.

My one and only evening with the local WI was a pleasant experience until we got to the break - refreshment time. I’d been invited along by the treasurer, a woman I’d met when I joined the Mothers Union, and I’d joined that when I first came to the area and didn’t know anyone. Most of the MU members were also WI members but, where they had shown me kindness and friendship in bucketfuls at the MU, they were like totally different people at the WI. I went to the serving hatch to get a cup of tea and discovered that I was wearing an invisibility cloak. The two women serving there, both MU (and WI) members, totally ignored me! I asked for a cup of tea, no response, no eye contact, nothing. Another member came and stood beside me and was instantly passed a cup of tea without having to ask, so I asked again for one when she’d gone. I got the same treatment, I was totally ignored. The next person was served, I was just left standing there. I felt dreadful and went and sat back down. At the end of the evening I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I have never gone back, and I never will.

The WI in my village had members who were born in the village. They always referred to each other by their maiden names so newbies had no idea who they were. Plenty of seat saving, and when a new estate was built new ladies were told to their faces “we don’t like you”. They advertised for new members all the time saying “new members most welcome” this was certainly untrue, if a new member walked in alone not one person made any attempt to be friendly. I was taken along to my first evening by a neighbour who knew I was an accountant, strangely that night they elected a new committee. I was elected treasurer. After about four years I was diagnosed with a major illness and somebody else was elected treasurer. I never heard from anybody again. We moved shortly after.

narrowboatnan- how extraordinary. Fancy just not giving you a cup of tea. I'd have just left at once. What an odd bunch.

Unfortunately I think the same problem occurs with many groups.
Some years the local Townswomens Guild had an article in our local newspaper asking for new members.
I went to 2 meetings and felt as though I did not exist, no greetings or smiles from everyone. All the members had their own little cliques.
No greeting from the chairwoman-she acted exactly like the other ladies there.
I was left wondering why they bothered to ask for new members

Oh my goodness I thought it was just me it is so sad to hear the mostly negative experiences here of the WI. Chewbacca I agree I do hope that someone from the Federation is reading and digesting these comments. Yes it can happen in any group so always best to try your local one as it could be very welcoming. One of the problems with my group is that it has grown to big, it is rare that people come on their own so it is new groups of friends joining and forming groups within a group. Sadly I feel a sense of abandonment not only during lockdown but because of my Partner's health problems. Ironically if a Member looses a Partner sympathy cards and flowers are sent but they seem unable to understand the concept of someone having long term health problems and the impact it has on your life. Thank you for all your threads and I do hope that the powers that be in WI will take note and action from the views that have been expressed on here.

My experience of the WI is same as all others, I have been a member for 5 years and like others have said seats are saved for so and so, therefore I still find my self sitting on my own. I joined the committee 3 years ago hoping it would make a difference but only other committee members will take the time to talk to me, I too will not be going back when the meetings start again.

I am really sorry to hear that so many people have not enjoyed the WI. Here is my experience.
I have been a member of the WI for the past four years, we have a very active membership of 80 (with a waiting list) and try to cater for everyone. We have numerous trips, some local, some far, by coach. Groups include art, craft, writing, gardening, two cookery, three book, walking and theatre. I am the programme secretary and enjoy finding interesting speakers for our meetings. We have a birthday party and a Christmas party, give flowers for big birthdays and illness and I would like to think we are very caring. Sadly everything has stopped due to coronavirus but we have recently organised coffee mornings in committee members' gardens for six people and are trying to hold very small meetings from September. Our President has sent out daily emails including useful information, quizzes, funny videos and tried to keep everyone going since March. She has done an amazing job in these difficult times.

Here’s a funny thing...( as comedians used to say) my friend’s brother is a retired clergyman and when he moved with his wife to a new area, they had to go to three churches before they felt welcomed enough to stay there! They tried the first two for a month or so and offered their collective services as well.Unbelievable.

I think anything with groups of people (is it just a female thing?) tends to lead to this kind of behaviour.
Certainly not my idea of fun.

I would say if you don't get on at your WI, just try another - they are all so different.

Before I joined, I did my research and investigated several local branches. Some were daytime, some evening, some had a reputation for older members, some were more craft orientated, some had lots of sub-groups, others didn't.
The one I'm now a member of is somewhere in the middle I would guess, age-wise and activity-wise. I'm a relative new comer (joined about 4 years ago) and yes, I do agree there can be a bit of a clique, as in many organisations. Ours has loads who are related and also several who were all parents at school together. I knew no one when I joined. It took time. I'm not one for barging into an established group/conversation so did find it hard. I joined a couple of sub-groups and found the smaller groups easier to get to know people.

I have now joined the committee and finally starting to feel like I belong a bit more.

I joined the W.I. in the village where we lived for ten years, and really enjoyed it. I was still working full-time, but took on the post of Secretary and found this added to my enjoyment, and I also learned everyone's names! When we moved to our current home 10 years ago, I joined a very large and popular in the nearest village: although the President was friendly and welcoming, I gave it a year and then left, thoroughly fed-up with the cliques and lack of input. I'm not shy, but it is difficult to join a group where they obviously know one another and have come along for a chat, not to talk to me!
Gilljames, the NHR was a lifesaver for me when I had two small children, and I still have friends from the group (my eldest "child" is now 51!). It was a challenging, involving group with women from all walks of life, a wonderful experience. I don't know if it is still in existence?

Oh dear! I am President of our WI and hope visitors to our meetings will never be made to feel like so many of you have! Since becoming President I have tried very hard to make sure all members and visitors feel included. We do need to introduce new ideas and activities and we are working on this. During lockdown we’ve kept in close touch with members helping with shopping and organising small get togethers. We’ve had lots of lovely comments and feel everyone has pulled together in a really good way. Please don’t tar all WI’s with the same brush!

I went to one having been told that I would be welcomed. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I persevered for about 3-4 months, but never felt welcome at all. Sad really.

My mum was secretary of her local brach for many years., I visited a different village branch as a guest at a quiz night, but even though it was a relatively easy-going branch, the meeting talk topics struck me as excruciatingly boring; furthermore, I disapprove of all-women groups, so definitely not for me, apart from which, it is quite expensive.

Similar experience. A few years ago I attended a WI meeting and was told to vacate the empty chair I sat on, as told it was reserved for someone else. Needless to say I didn't go back

I’m very sad and surprised to read that so many of you seem to have had so negative an experience with the WI. My own has been quite the opposite and very positive.

I was a member many years ago but gave it up when the demands of work and family left me little time to spare for anything else. I rejoined a local group a couple of years ago and got a great welcome, have never been made to feel excluded and have had a lot of fun and outings which I’d otherwise have missed.

There are several different WI groups in this smallish town and I opted to join one of the newer groups where the membership is generally much younger than me and most are still busily working and bringing up families. At 72 I’m the second oldest and our excellent Madame Chairman is around the 30 mark with a very lively and modern outlook. I’m very much looking forward to being able to go to physical meets again but in the meantime zoom meetings are keeping people involved and entertained. There’s not even a whiff of jam and Jerusalem in the air.

So please don’t assume that all WI groups are the same because they’re very clearly not. If you don’t like the one you’re in, do try another. You can go as a guest for a nominal sum while you decide whether to join or not.

I’m kept entertained everyday by various WI related Facebook groups which are a wealth of amusement and also a fantastic source of information. Want to know how to do something? Someone there will have the answer. There’s lots of generous sharing of all kinds of things.

Roll on the time when I can get back to our regular, in person meetings, our monthly craft club, our garden club outings, meals out, quiz nights and various other visits and outings. I love being a WI member.

Despite all the off putting comments here, the WI has well over 200,000 members and growing every year - well until lockdown anyway!