Asking their son or daughter "What kind of a mum was I?"

I've told my boys how brilliantly I did.

I know I did my best. That is all you can do. Yes, I would get a different answer from both my children, who were very independent and strong willed! My D has said that I was too soft! They have grown up to be successful both in relationships and the world of work, so maybe I got something right. Don't see much of them though.

I have often thought that I made so many mistakes as a young mum. I was doing my best but remember shouting at them when they were driving me to the point of distraction. I have said this to various people and the answers have been along the lines that my girls are such lovely people that I must have been doing something right. Also, they and my adult grandsons/girl friends visit us regularly, arrange nice things for us and are there for us when there is a problem so have they forgiven us for our shortcomings? However, thinking about it we have supported them through problems and helped a lot with childcare. I still don’t want to ask them.

Sorry I actually meant to ask sparkling whey she thinks she gave her daughter such an “awful childhood”

Because of my difficult life story and the divorce from hell from their biological father I developed health issues.

Its too messy a complex personal story to go into however I used to think I was a bad mom.

Although my adult youngster's were bought up practically properly, emotionally they witnessed violence from their biological dad.

We fled domestic abuse finally after 16 years, were hidden homeless, the child servces became involved and I had a fight noone could get unless you havs been involved in the system to keep my family together and rebuild our lives, actively very unwell then.

Much therapy etc over the years and one day I was talking to my 2nd son a couple of years ago and said I had worked through stuff in CBT about being a bad mom.

He looked at me as if I had gone mad and was shocked to the core, I had thought that.

He said "Mom you are the best mom in the world cos with all you went through too, you hung in there, you never gave up the fight and fought against a system you weren't supposed to win to keep this family together. Its not pretty, pretty picture of smiling mom making cakes and laughing with father playing the piano. Its a picture of true love and grit against the odds" he said

His siblings couldn't believe it rather. Just goes to show what we think isn't always right. Still makes me tear up when I think of that conversation

PS: All my adult youngsters are happy, well, good jobs, one is happily married and children, one still at home who has health issues, the other two doing well too, so the fight to keep us together to help them recover as well as me and them seeing me happily remarried means I couldn't have done as bad a job as I thought I had ?

Keffie I take my hat off to you ?

Well done Keffie your children are a credit to you.