Things I would never have thought I would want to say.

Never expected to hear my husband yell, "Don't touch it until I have disinfected it!"

Sadly, just in reference to a parcel...

I wonder if little ones are quite relieved that they can't be kissed by some older relatives.
I used to hate it when a great uncle with a moustache said.
"Have you a kiss for your old nunky.?"
I would love to have said "no"

And use the soap......Let me smell your hands now.

I'll phone you back later. I have a click and collect slot at the supermarket.

Could you please take a photo of the abscess on my behind so I can send it to the doctor?

The upside was I had antibiotics within the hour of them receiving it. The downside - I hope it isn't on the office noticeboard!

I overheard a panicked shriek the other day. Stop, stop right now! I thought someone was being mugged till it continued with How many times do I have to tell you not to go near grandad?

Changing my hairdresser as the extra added on for PPE makes them too expensive for a simple dry cut that takes no more than half an hour.

Never thought I wouldn't fancy browsing around the shops, it used to be my favourite pastime in town!

To my grandsons “Sorry boys I can’t give you a cuddle. “ ☹️

Pre-recycling/dumpit site visit - 'Do you think this is essential rubbish or just rubbish? If it's just rubbish they won't accept it.'

AC to DGC - 'You actually have to wash your hands, not just sing the song."

'I can get a delivery in 3 weeks. I'll ask ( our bubblebuddy ) if there's anything she'll need by then.'

No don’t blow the candles out on your cake - here waft them with card.

Hello, are we doing the elbow thing?

I’ve scrubbed the cloakroom down - there’s hand wipes and surface wipes in there and hand gel, obviously. The blue towel is for one of you and the pink for the other one.

Trying to have a conversation with a loved one through a care home window for the past 6 months when what he really needs is a big hug.

I must remember to wear my mask when I go to meet the bank manager

No I don't want to go to the pub ?

Which do you think will be safest - the train, a taxi or a bus?

When does your furlough end?

Can the post come out of the isolation zone* yet?

* Hostess trolley

No we won’t be coming over for the takeaway you planned for us all as the kids have got a cold!

I'll go and have a browse round the shops.

Must wash the masks before I go to bed.

Drive flu....
stick arm out of car window
jab
drive off ???

May be unpopular but mine is i would welcome a two week lockdown! I reaslised during the last one how much the child minding and voluntary work was tiring me when i was not able to do it. ?

“Shall we bubble?”

Following chat to Dr about a dry, itchy patch on my chin, he sent me a text message ‘please send me a photo of your chinny-chin-chin’

‘Hurrah! The Ocado delivery is here’ ( said very excitedly as am waiting hungrily for the fruitloaf for breakfast.)

If you went into a shop with a mask on 6 months ago you'd be arrested

So I can’t get an appt to see the doctor?