Times change – faster than you think

I am certainly not an early GN’er, but soon after I joined, there was a heated discussion about long term members, and the poster ruffled feathers by saying certain people considered themselves ‘Gransnet Royalty’!

Made me smile, particularly with all the monarchy/republican threads we have.

?

As we all should, Illte, oldies or newbies alike.

I think that some posters are just bored people who are not who they say they are. They come up with all sorts of misadventures/scenarios to keep themselves happy and the more sympathetic or even mischievous replies they get the more they come up with yet more ludicrous scenarios. I’m always reading posts with a questioning attitude and I’m also wary that nothing on Gransnet is private. It was why I changed my name to something that was a little less top of a google list.

I was also brought up to understand that swearing was a sign of ignorance. Some years ago I heard a lady I knew rocking her newborn much loved grandson in his pram and saying in a soothing voice “Go to sleep you f*****g little bl**der”. I guess if you are brought up with foul language as the norm it’s hard to see how offensive it is to others. Sometimes though it seems to be used purely for attention seeking and it’s shock value.

Obviously we don’t know how the numbers pan out and most of us don’t know exactly how payments are made for sites like this but the sheer vitriol has become off putting and I use the site less and less because of it. There are still some kinder sites where disagreeing doesn’t lead to a dozen hostile responses.

It also seems too much of a coincidence that a number of the hostile posters hunt in packs. They seem to be on guard duty 24/7 and come out in force, posting cutting and even cruel comments one after the other. I can only imagine they actually pm or text each other when some poor innocent posts something they don’t approve of. They then wade in like the playground bullies they probably were, feeling that there is safety in numbers. It is possible to disagree but remain polite and respectful. Some posters have possibly experienced hard times and feel the need to attack others which presumably relieves their pent up aggression temporarily at least.

We used to have very mixed social/friendship groups but so many posters make comments that everybody they know thinks the same as them and presumably that is then the right way to think or feel. No thought that different experiences shape us and our views. We are not clones who are not allowed to form a differing view. How do you gain a wider viewpoint if you are surrounded by people who are simply echoing your own thoughts and prejudices?

As for people who want links to back up other people’s differing opinions words fail me! I am 100% sure that there are now “links” online to provide a myriad of opinions if you have unlimited time to search for them.

Ilte I'm sure that you would be very welcome in the kitchen.
I went in there almost straight away- I'm worrying now that I've transgressed in someway!
lemongrove has invited me to the Argy, but I'm still trying to pluck up courage (in all probability, the Dutch variety will be involved).

For information, how do I check how long I have been on GN, is it possible?

Ann - could you do an advanced search of yourself and do it that way?

I use both MN and GN and I think it's very difficult to compare the two. MN is so big that you dont recognise names in the same way. I think this can make the disagreeing on GN more personal as you could have a fairly stroppy debate with someone on MN nd then never notice them again. It's not the same here because its smaller.

Galaxy - I think that I may have spotted you last night / this morning.
I think that we were on the same thread.

It also depends on the thread. If it's a thread where posters are talking about particularly painful and personal experiences, it's even more important to respond with a degree of sensitivity regardless of whether or not you agree with them.

It can work the other way, Bluebellwould. I met up with some GNs in real life last month and we had so many stories and adventures to talk about which maybe in writing might have sounded boasting, ludicrous, unbelievable.
Lovely gathering of lovely different people, though on GN we could be perceived as otherwise.

Illte please don’t be concerned about posting in the Kitchen if you’d like to. I had the same concerns. There’s a warm welcome there for everyone, some folk post regularly others now and again.

Well said Kamiso

Nice to see you posting again Absent.
Like you I have been here since the beginning but do not post very often now.
I had a post deleted and had an email from HQ, I stayed off for almost a month. Only one person noticed I was missing.

I was always told that swearing indicated a limited vocabulary and a lack of self control - and in a lighthearted manner, that the only occasion it was excusable was on hitting your thumb with a very large hammer! The cardinal sin was to swear in writing,

I think it is inevitable that political/environmental/Royalty debates become lengthier than a face to face one, but I must admit that I find the need to quote huge chunks of text to support an argument rather tedious

However the remainder of the topics have been a delight, until recently. Most of us don’t have time to spend the entire day and evening, reading and answering posts, and the current ‘monitoring’ makes it virtually impossible to follow the topic, therefore I am not a fan of the current fashion of ‘nannying’

Re swearing. I don’t swear on here (actually do I ? I may have said “just wear the bloody mask” ). I do however swear I real life occasionally and I would like to point out that in fact an extensive vocabulary is one of the few things I am good at ,
I’d like to say that the “bullying” thing is a bit OTT. Recently a poster said “I couldn’t disagree more “. Other poster then started saying she was being “got at aggressively”. I think that’s nonsense !
Also on political threads people from the left are nearly always accused of being bullies......

Or "loonies"

Yes I swear not sure if I do it on here, probably not but I dont think it reflects on my language skills

Most of us don’t have time to spend the entire day and evening, reading and answering posts
Nope Lexisgranny, I sometimes throw in a quick reply sitting on a bench somewhere, on the tube, walking the dog, or in between juggling other stuff. Maybe some such posts are therefore more instinctive and hurried, but they come from the heart which I enjoy.

The problem is that we all live in our own reality. There are those with whom we can find a common ground but those who are outside our view of the world can be seen as not living in the real world. But that is their reality, as strange as it may seem to us.

Re swearing, I see no reason for it in ordinary conversation and often wonder what people revert to when the need for it arises. Possibly something like "Oh dear, what a nuisance, I've just hit my finger with a hammer. That really hurts" ?

Illte

Oh, I'm relatively new and I do feel a bit left out on some threads where friends exchange long running banter.

I wouldn't dare go to the Kitchen or the Argy bargy and sometimes interesting threads get derailed by in jokes that have been running for a long time.

But hey, just move on.

Illte I came in to the Argy at the same time as you but have continued to join in, I'd love to see you back there.

Yes I swear not sure if I do it on here, probably not but I dont think it reflects on my language skills

Well, so do I, Galaxy, but I don't think I'd swear at anyone on here.
And most of my swear words I think I learned from DH - but he doesn't swear at people only at inanimate objects like hammers which hit his thumb, tools which don't work properly, cups which break themselves etc.

I have been known to curse inanimate objects, however, I save all the naughty words for the idiot DR’s Ex!!!

Oops DD’s Ex, my Dr is happily married ?

Possibly something like "Oh dear, what a nuisance, I've just hit my finger with a hammer. That really hurts" ?

It just isn't the same.