Am I being over sensitive

Just a silly man who thought he was being witty and a rude man too. Don’t overthink it but next time be ready?

Rude comment and really says it all. If someone said that to me (and I couldn’t think of something to say back) I’d give them a wide berth next time.

I remember visiting my sister and on leaving I said I'll come and visit again sometime and her husband shouts well we won't be visiting yours I was absolutely gobsmacked at that remark. He has since died.

Not a nice thing to say. His wife was probably mortified. Give him a wide berth from now on.

He was in the wrong but I'd ignore it. It's pretty obvious people are seeing less of each other because of lockdowns and being careful in general.

Your friend was probably embarrassed and, if you say anything, she will feel worse and it could interfere with your friendship.

Men get grumpy as they age. It's their failing intellectual powers and the increasing lack of appropriate restraint and manners. I'd take plenty of no notice.

socially gauche comes to my mind ..

him not you!

Silly man! Probably thought he was making a clever, topical joke. I'd pity the wife and ignore the tactless comment.

I must have an abnormally thick skin as I would have laughed!

Dont worry about him, cultivate her instead. She sounds like a nice lady.

He'd probably heard that said as a joke and been waiting for an opportunity to try it out. Personally I'd not take it to heart. Anyway, real friendship isn't conditional or about being perfect and even if the comment did express his real feelings it dosn't mean you aren't friends. Some of my best and longest friendships are with exasperating people, we give each other a little slack and tolerate ineptitudes and failings (just as well or I'd have no friends left).

I think he was just a smart alec trying to be amusing and didn't think about what he was saying. Chewbacca is right, his wife wanted a walk with you to explain what an idiot her DH is and to apologise. I hope she gave him hell.

I certainly wouldn’t end a friendship over one random remark. Meet your friend for a walk, and see what develops.

What an odd thing to say! No wonder you are wondering what he meant. I would probably have said straight away: What do you mean? Because I've learned that I can worry sometimes about the occasional chance remark and blow it out of proportion. It's easier said than done, I know, but perhaps next time you see him you can just casually ask about it, and say you were a bit hurt by his remark.

You never know what goes on behind closed door's.????Take it with a pinch of salt and be grateful you aren't married to another Victor Meldrew.

If I were you, I'd probably be examining every interaction I'd ever had with them and asking myself if what he said had any merit. It might have been a throw away remark or it could be how "he" feels. His wife probably feels very different from him regardless and I wouldn't let his tactlessness interfere with my friendship.
Perhaps you could look at how he is normally with his humour. Does he say things to other people which might make you wince? Is he more of a loner than a socialiser? Does he suffer from depression sometimes? There are lots of things which might make people say things in the moment that they don't really mean. That isn't necessarily any more excusable but would negate how you vulnerable you should feel.
Finally, don't let it ruin your confidence. You can't be everybody's cup of tea, especially when couples are involved.

I really try to call rude/offensive people out at the time - most of the time it leaves the offender tongue-tied and embarrassed and they don’t do it again. I know sometimes we can be so shocked we only think of a retort later, very frustrating! ?
I had to do this recently with a real verbal bully who decided it was my turn to be the receiver - I just calmly asked what he meant and pressed him over and over to explain every comment, not a pleasant experience, especially for him but he’s not done it again and now goes out of his way to be pleasant. If I’d left it he would have continued every time he saw me - just like he does to others.
Don’t let it spoil your friendship with his wife, she’s probably as mortified as you! Go for a walk and tell her how you feel about it.

In your position, having not commented at the time, I would decide whether I want to continue the friendship. If I did I would go for a walk with wife as she has suggested it, and ask her directly whether either of them or both if them found that you were around them too much pre lockdown, and was that the source of her husbands remark. Then an open and honest conversation in the light of her reply. I would also speak to him, tell him that you had that conversation with his wife, and ask if he wished to add anything. OR I would speak directly to him, without the wife chat first, and go from there! I would include in the conversations that I would like to continue the friendship but if they dont wish to then so be it.

My husband occasionally has had an incident of "foot in mouth disease". he thinks he's being funny but all I can do is hope it isn't taken seriously by the recipient. I'd let it wash by. Don't let it ruin a friendship.

I would feel hurt by that and probably be more cautious with my time with them in future. Perhaps we are just thinned skinned.

Like Nightsky 2 just a silly man trying to be witty sadly it's all too common some people men in particular open their mouth without thinking I imagine his wife was embarrassed as well as annoyed with him hence the invite just be glad you dont have to live with him I doubt it's the first time he's embarrassed her

Some people have too much to say and need to think before they say it. I would not have felt right by your friends husbands remark and would probably be taken aback by it. Too many excuses are given for people like that...they should be challenged there and then but frustratingly were not always quick on the mark to do so at the time. Maybe the following days invite from your friend to go for a walk may have been an oppoutunity for her to apologise for her husbands 'big mouth' but, then she could have done that on the Telephone. I have been on the receiving end of a number of comments of late which have upset me... these comments have been made at different times when I have felt my most vulnerabilist..yet I have not dealt with it because I did not want to upset them (stupid I know)!

I would phone the wife and ask how she is. Suggest that you are a bit confused as to whether your friendship is wanted as you think you may have got things wrong. No doubt the wife will reassure you etc etc and then you close with - ‘Well, shall we leave it that you ring me next time.’

Throw ball into other party’s court and wait. If she values you, she will call.

It has happened to me with both results - some friends called and some faded away. Sometimes I feel we are too old for this kind of confusion.

I have a neighbour who has mentioned inviting me for a coffee for the last ten years. When I ask her how she is she tells me in detail all the exciting things she is up to and how busy she is. Never reciprocates by asking me but is entirely unaware - I think she thinks she is a good neighbour. Hey ho. It takes all sorts.

I'm afraid it's the sort of thing I might say to a friend - meant in a joking way and assuming that they will know I'm joking. I would be really upset if I realised someone had taken it to heart and thought I meant it in a negative way.

Yes I agree! Husbands sometimes try to be funny and it backfires! She is trying (as some of us do at times!) to smooth things over. Ring her and go for a walk! You will feel better and do will she!

EllanVannin

I'd have laughed ! But that's my sense of humour which can confuse some.

Me too, can't understand why people like to put on an aura of hyper-sensitivity, especially with friends. We often make comments that if people want to feign offence I'm sure they could. I recall once buying something I wasn't sure about and said to a good friend WHat do you think? Her reply was The carrier bag might have looked better! We all laughed (and I took it back) because we're friends and adults.
Is it any wonder that there has been an explosion of 'mental health' problems when so many people are so humourless?