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Can anyone lend a hand, please?πŸ˜•

(61 Posts)
phoenix Tue 01-Dec-20 09:31:09

You see, I've only got 2, and I need 3.

One to put over my mouth when I cough, one to hold my ribs, which hurt when I cough, and the extra one to hold the top of my head which feels as if it's going to fly off when I cough.

So, I think the easiest for an assistant to help with would be the head.

Shin pads might be advisable, because the speed and gay abandon with which I cross my legs when I cough could carry considerable risk of injury!


GrannySomerset Tue 01-Dec-20 09:32:51

Poor Phoenix - it sounds as though you need a COVID test as well as an assistant!

Parsley3 Tue 01-Dec-20 09:33:14

Stiff stays to hold your ribs in place?

GrannyGravy13 Tue 01-Dec-20 09:37:36

Sorry to hear you are poorly Phoenix hope you feel better soon flowers

(Are you/have you been tested for Covid)

Nannylovesshopping Tue 01-Dec-20 09:40:11

I am laughing because you have such a way with words! am sorry you are so poorly, am wondering if Mr P could assist? brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, β€˜he’s got wandering hands’

Lucca Tue 01-Dec-20 09:40:48

You need to be clasped to the chest of a manly hero?

phoenix Tue 01-Dec-20 09:44:56

Hello all!

No, not Covid, well GP thinks not, what I thought was my COPD playing up was actually a chest infection tchsad

Just finished a course of steroid and antibiotics, will be starting another one tomorrow.

Doctor says if that doesn't sort it, then it's an admission to hospital tchshock

BlueBelle Tue 01-Dec-20 09:45:19

nannygoesshoppong πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Is this a CoviD cough phoenix ?
Get well soon

BlueBelle Tue 01-Dec-20 09:45:56

Sorry your update wasn’t there when I posted πŸ™ƒ

Charleygirl5 Tue 01-Dec-20 09:46:42

Dare I ask if you have been remotely near a hospital or even, God forbid, your GP? You need a tad more than Mr. P helping you at present, it appears you need medical help. My nagging hat is within easy reach.

Nortsat Tue 01-Dec-20 09:51:47

Phoenix I am with Lucca on this ... you definitely need to be clasped to a manly chest.

You can give MrP the day off ... and then decide whose chest you would like to be clasped to ...

I nominate ... Rufus Sewell or Idris Elba. 😎

phoenix Tue 01-Dec-20 09:53:18

Charleygirl you can leave your hat where it is!

Had a telephone consultation last Tuesday, then face to face on Wednesday, another telephone one yeah hence the second lot of meds.

One of the receptionists who lives nearby even delivered them to me!

Pantglas2 Tue 01-Dec-20 09:54:37

I’m afraid Nortsat that Rufus Sewell has a prior engagement....πŸ€ͺ

phoenix Tue 01-Dec-20 09:55:36

My ribs are currently not up to being clasped, I'm making do with a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Lucca Tue 01-Dec-20 09:55:37

No offence intended to Mr Phoenix, I am sure his chest is acceptably manly, but hey a change is as good as a rest. Get well soon.

merlotgran Tue 01-Dec-20 10:05:36

phoenix Never fear, Max Bygraves is sending you positive vibes.

You need hands to hold all that you care for,
You need hands to show you have no fear
When you feel nobody wants to know you
'Cos your cough is going up a gear,
When you hold your ribs and bladder,
You need extra hands to hold it all in place,
You need hands to thank the Lord for Tena
So you can cough with a smile upon your face. smile

Puzzler61 Tue 01-Dec-20 10:18:53

merlotgran excellent! Hoping a laugh isn’t a stretch too far for poor phoenix.
Stay in a warm temperature and keep drinking (not alcohol!).
As Doodle would say β€œit will pass”. πŸ’πŸ¨πŸ‡β˜•οΈ
Sending Get Well Wishes to you and sorry you feel so poorly.

Callistemon Tue 01-Dec-20 10:37:27

I can sympathise, phoenix, having clobbered my ribs last week I dread coughing, hiccuping or sneezing.

Keep taking the tablets and get well soon.
Sending TLC but no hugs.

Callistemon Tue 01-Dec-20 10:38:17

merlotgran grin

phoenix Tue 01-Dec-20 10:41:09

Thank you all!

I need some more pads, but Mr P won't let me go into shops, so he's said he will get some.

Now, bearing in mind that when I was shielding during Ist lockdown, and I needed leeks for a chicken and leek bake, himself couldn't find any, so bought a cauliflower instead tchconfused so anything could happen!

Squiffy Tue 01-Dec-20 10:44:21

Oh, poor you, Phoenix sad As Rufus Sewell is, apparently, otherwise engaged would a far more mundane approach help? I'm thinking of a wide scarf bound around your ribcage. It's surprisingly effective, if not as exciting as Mr S! In your condition, excitement may not be a good thing! wink

Callistemon Tue 01-Dec-20 10:45:20

We await with bated breath.

However, if it hurts when we laugh, phoenix, perhaps we don't want to know


Callistemon Tue 01-Dec-20 10:45:43


Roses Tue 01-Dec-20 10:45:46

Well you definitely don't want leeks this time!!!

Hop you feel better soon

Squiffy Tue 01-Dec-20 10:45:53

I need some more pads, but Mr P won't let me go into shops, so he's said he will get some

... knowing MrP's reputation, this could turn into a very entertaining thread! grin