Can anyone lend a hand, please??

Oh whatever!!

Phoenix it’s funny, when we were young my partner used to have to run out to the chemist for tampons for me.
A decade or so later ... he had to run out for sanitary towels ...
A couple of decades on ... and it’s Tena ...

Womanhood is glorious, isn’t it ? ?

Merlot that was a good one ... well done.⭐️

Poor you Phoenix, much sympathy, I really hope the next lot of antibiotics help and you can keep out of hospital. You do such a wonderful job of keeping us laughing, we need you!

You do make me laugh Phoenix - thank you xx

merltogran that is brilliant.
pants such thoughts as those you are harbouring over Rufus Sewell will have you put on the norty step and if Miss Charleygirl is around she’ll wash your mouth out with soap ?

Oh poor Phoenix. You could clutch a soft pillow to your bosom, bend forward and place the top of your head on the floor. That way your head and chest will be sorted, your mouth will be hidden somewhere in the middle and the rest of us can have some peace and quiet ?

Sorry, you know I don’t mean it. Seriously though, have you thought of bending forward over a pillow a bit. I find if I have a really bad attack of asthma that bending forward takes the pressure off the lungs and makes breathing easier. I know you have a chest infection but it might help.

Really hope you feel better soon. Gentle hug ?

Phoenix I hope this dose of antibiotics does the trick. Poor you. I would offer George Clooney but I'm clutching him to my womanly bosom. (I wish) You have such a way with words and make me laugh. Take care.

Hello phoenix
I really do hope that you feel much better soon
Do you have a oximeter? If Mrp is going shopping perhaps he could pop in a chemist and get one.

Phoenix ..... you always make me laugh ?.

FannyCornforth

Hello phoenix
I really do hope that you feel much better soon
Do you have a oximeter? If Mrp is going shopping perhaps he could pop in a chemist and get one.

Fanny I wouldn't dare risk it! He'd probably come out with a truss and a breast pump!

Snigger!

Well, he's set off, only going to Lidl in Torrington.

There are 5 items on the list, with notes for guidance where appropriate, such "without wings".

I'm not entirely convinced that he took his glasses though...........

Try wrapping a folded bath towel round your poor ribs while you cough, unfortunately, it won't help all that much.

What on earth have you done to yourself?

Please, get better soon.

Oh to be a shop assistant in Lidl Torrington! ?

The kind of coughing that just makes your ribs ache and almost blows the top off your head each time is bloody terrible. That amount of discomfort does shout 'chest infection', Phoenix so I bet your GP is correct. You certainly don't lose your sense of humour and I am so happy to laugh - having checked first to see what you have done about your poorly situation. Had you done nuffink - there would have been a very snarky post here, guaranteed. Like you even care, though!
Please get well very soon and wishing hard that your DH arrives laden with Yuletide Leakstoppers, Festive Incontinence Pants and something soothing for that poor chest (Liberty bodice and a Celebratory jar of Christmas goose fat perhaps?)
Get well very soon and please take care. No hugs, just good wishes. (And Merlotgran for Poet Laureate!)

Thank you all!

He seems to have erred on the side of caution with the pads, opting for absorbency level 4!

Seems a tad extreme to me, it's only a little leakage when I cough, I wasn't planning on touring the music halls as a living tribute to Niagara Falls.

Still, the thickness of them means they could be handy to tuck under the sides of my bra to help cushion my ribs!

Every cloud, and all that.............

He also managed to sneak home a small potted tree in a pot, wrapped in a Hessian sack I think it's supposed to be a Christmas tree, but doesn't look like a variety I've ever seen.

That definitely wasn't on the list!

Nortsat

Phoenix I am with Lucca on this ... you definitely need to be clasped to a manly chest.

You can give MrP the day off ... and then decide whose chest you would like to be clasped to ...

I nominate ... Rufus Sewell or Idris Elba. ?

I thought we all knew I have first dibs on Rufus Sewell!

Just don’t go outside with your padded attachments Phoenix or your neighbours will think your gone for breast enhancement surgery. ?

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Sorry, Phoenix*, I’ve giggled all through this thread once I understood it’s not a covid cough. With no helpful or funny suggestions to make I’ll just send a big get well soon and a hope for some sleep for you tonight.

Thank you all!

Doodle the sore ribs are at the side, so if I HAD had breast enhancement surgery there I would either be demanding my money back or applying to join a circus freak show!

Interesting way of making money.?
I hope you sleep well tonight and feel better tomorrow.
Thanks for the laughs.
I wonder if your neighbours hide behind their curtains just waiting for MrP to pop down the shops and then they follow him to see just what you’ve got him buying this time.

You could sew any spare pads together and make yourself a liberty bodice to keep you nice and warm.

Callistemon I was thinking more in terms of one of those puffa jackets. If MrP had bought the ones with wings then no sewing would be required as they could just be stuck together.
Perhaps there could be a new thread. What interesting things could you make with left over pads. I’ve got a load that I had before my hysterectomy in the back of a cupboard somewhere. ?

I'll start designing.