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We need to laugh - especially in a pandemic!

(55 Posts)
Applegran Fri 01-Jan-21 15:05:51

Someone has just sent this to me and it made me laugh - reflectons as we move into 2021. Here it is in the hope it makes others laugh too! Have you got other 'funnies' to share?

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

3. The world has turned upside down. Old people are sneaking out of the house and their children are shouting at them to stay indoors!

4. This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house and told my dog.......we had a good laugh.

5. Every few days try your jeans on.....just to make sure they fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

6. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

7. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

8. I need to practise social-distancing ...........from the refrigerator.

9. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip out to the bins !

10. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go into a bank with a mask on and ask for money.

--

Shinamae Thu 07-Jan-21 09:36:51

Love this.....

overthehill Thu 07-Jan-21 09:41:24

Two women having a chat.
"My husband bought me a huge bunch of flowers"
"That was nice of him"
" Well no, he'll expect me to spread my legs"
"Why, haven't you got a vase?"

One bat to his mate
"What's been the worse day of your life?"
"When I had diarrhoea"

Rufus2 Fri 08-Jan-21 05:06:20

6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed

Rufus2 Fri 08-Jan-21 05:12:29

I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.