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Jealousy over daughter's financial situation

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schnackie Mon 25-Jan-21 15:25:59

I am fairly ashamed to feel this way, but my lovely DD is 40, wonderful husband, 2 lovely GC and all are happy and healthy. Her husband has a very good job and with promotions, bonuses etc, they live a very comfortable life. However my life was very different - great career as a nurse but extremely difficult job, stupid shift work, divorce, bad relationship with family etc. Now I am living a nice, retired life on a minimal but sufficient pension, have most of what I need, but no savings to speak of, and no money for 'treats' (i.e. new curtains). We speak almost every day and I find myself really starting to resent her when she talks about things she spends (what I consider to be) huge amounts of money on! I dare not say this to her, as it would hurt her feelings and what could she do? I don't want her giving me money. I just need to find a way to deal with my feelings. Does this make any sense? Any advice?

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Nannyme Sun 31-Jan-21 11:32:26

I think with each generation there is more ability to improve life. Thinking back to just my parents, born in the early 1900, outside toilets, no hot water on tap etc etc, wartime to deal with and so on and it is not so long ago. They wanted what was best for us as we want the best for our children and grandchildren and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone what they have managed to achieve in life through hard work.

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Babs758 Sun 31-Jan-21 12:39:37

So glad she had a chat and mentioned a Disney holiday with you all together! Lovely to have that to look forward to.

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V3ra Sun 31-Jan-21 12:45:38

HannahLoisLuke

Why are GN repeating threads that we’ve seen before? This one as well as two others today have been featured in the week or two.
I look forward to the daily posts and it’s disappointing to see old threads appearing again.

HannahLoisLuke this happens when there is a new comment on an old thread. Like yours! ?

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JaneNJ Sun 31-Jan-21 13:26:05

You have one less worry. Imagine if they were, in fact, struggling and you couldn’t help them? They are also in a position to help you if you should one day need it even though we don’t like to think of having to depend on children.

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Ydoc Sun 31-Jan-21 15:35:31

I totally understand how you feel, seems a natural reaction. I left home at 16, had absolutely nothing just got very ancient already worn out things. Went through some time of real hardship. Including getting battered. Then when remarried had some hard times financially, remember burning the stair rail for warmth. My daughter has never experienced any hardship whatsoever. She is also constantly pampered, never happened to me once even when unwell. Worse of it is she's compared us as being similar in endurance etc?. I'm not jealous of her just conscious of the massive difference.

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Esspee Sun 31-Jan-21 15:44:20

Gosh, my children both earn six figure sums a year and I feel nothing but pride that they are doing so well. I would assume that most parents would be happy if their children were doing well.
I don’t know what to advise OP, jealousy eats you up.

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V3ra Sun 31-Jan-21 22:00:21

Well none of mine earn anything like those amounts, nor are they ever likely to.
They're all keyworkers doing vital jobs for the country, especially at this time.
I couldn't be more proud of them.

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