The Argy Bargy Bar is back!

OMG you lot look like a hen party all dressed in florescent pink hot pants and kiss me quick hats.....wish I hadn't worn mine now.

Doodle !!! Wee???? Should have brought my umbrella

Time to cool down now, fun lovers.
I'm off to see Madame Fifi the Fortune Teller.
Have only ha'ppenies left to cross her palm. Hope I don't get a naff reading??.
See y'all at the House of Mirrors?

I'm off to Dodgems Dan's caravan. He is going to show me his tattoos.

I’m going in the tunnel of love again with the Admiral. He’s promised to behave this time........spoil sport ?

I’m tucking in to Jack’s winkles. His cockles are all gone.

Oh dear, I’ve bent his winkle picking pin.

Well me and the Essex boy are off down the boozer, the Flying Duck I think he said......can't quite get the lingo. See you there if you fancy it

Wait for me Happy. The Admiral tried to escape my clutches and he’s got lost somewhere in the Tunnel of Love.
We’ll pick him up on the way back. Can I have some candy floss please and a quick go on the carousel ?
Whee round I go, round and round and up and down and oh dear.....I seem to have got my candy floss stuck in your hair Happy. ??‍?

??Ayy Macarena???
Quite out of breath with all this camaraderie from the natives.
Next is a Conga along the pier. Hope they steer clear of Rich Reggie's tub yacht. Could turn nasty☹️
Any muscles left?

That's ok Doodle, it's an improvement....I love that sugar pink colour.
I've heard about those congas down the pier ixion, seemingly down sarf they eat them with mash ?

Maybe we should get these llamas home ladies. Everybody back on the bus!
All together now,
Didn’t we have a loverly time, the day we went to Sarfend,
Beautiful day, we had lunch on the way, and all for under a pound (tiddly Om Pom)
On the way back, I cuddled with Jack and we finished the vat of poteen,
Singing a few of our favourite songs as the wheels went round!

Anyone seen the Admiral? Don’t tell me we’ve left him behind!

???????

Lively Lovely day. Thank you so much Doodle for releasing the funds.
I am now deep in the arms of Morpheus on the back seat.
Nice chap, wanted a lift back. Something about crossing county lines
Well, I says, no problem. Carry on up the A13, Essex to London straight over. Job done

What’s that flashing blue light?
Oh dear ixion, think we’d better chuck Morpheus out the back window, along with that bag he’s keeping a close eye on.

?
Thanks for a great time, oh what a night! Am feeling a tad queasy mind you, but the yacht was getting blown about somefink terrible when we set off around midnight, we didn’t get far, Reggie moored us off Canvey Island.
I think the voddy is clashing with the whelks. Send us a postcard and we will send you one.

Wow, that was a close shave.
Funny, had never thought if the police force before as being even remotely tolerant.
It was a great idea to hide Morpheus in the portaloo. Maybe a tad unfair to expose the sniffer dog to the door. It's the dog wot needed putting out the back window Grandmajet, to bring it round.
Morpheus, poor boy, couldn't leg it fast enough away once we had arrived back.
What shall I do with his bag?
There seems to be a mobile left behind too. Nothing smart, which seems strange for the yoof of today.
Just a list of numbers.
Maybe I should ring one?

???

NO, ixion, don’t. Don’t ring one!
Oops
NO, ixion, don’t. Don’t tell them we’ve got the bag!
Oops
NO, ixion, don’t. Don’t mention the Argy!

S'all right grandmajet
I used it to call 999 and explained the situation to a nice young policeman.
Did I think it was a burner phone? he asked.
No, I said, it says it's a Nokia on here.

That's all right then, love, he says.
You just hang in to it.

I think they have been watching The Ladykillers.
But I do object to the muttering aside ' 'Ere Sarg, I think we've got a right one here'.

I propose that we keep it to take click and collect orders from the Bar

Phew, was worried there! They can be a tad nasty, those county line people.
I need another little nap to recover.
?????

Oooh I’ve just woken up. Had a lovely long sleep on the way back. Did I miss anything?

Nothing at all, Doodle, just a little chat with some nice policemen.
Get some more beauty sleep!??

This was in the Sarfend Post this morning:

"Early morning commuters were shocked to see 3 pairs of bloomers blowing in the breeze on the Town Hall flag pole.
Sergeant G. Roper said he will leave no pebble unturned to find the perpetrators of this heinous crime.
He urges those responsible to come forward. They will have to spend one night in the cells, where they will be thoroughly interrogated by himself G.Roper and PC F.Humbler"

Er AGA how are we going to get our bloomers back without owning up ?
Should we say we run a laundry and they blew away in the wind and somehow managed to attach themselves to the flagpole.
Perhaps we could say they were stolen from our washing line by a group of villains.
What about if we just go commando.
What we up to Friday nite, any ideas?
By the way, who sucked the end of my stick of rock. It’s gone all soggy ?