Being patronising or maybe not ?

It doesn’t irritate me in the slightest. I think it’s rather nice. I find it irritating that people get on their high horse just because someone is trying to be pleasant.

I don’t mind ‘love’ at all but ‘dear’ is a bit iffy, depending how it is said.

I don't mind too much.
Hun or babe grate a bit, but miserable sods who can barely be civil grate a lot more.

My two favourite things I've been called are Hen, and Me Old Cockalorra.

Brought up in a North East mining village and everyone called you Pet or sweetheart or love.
Never bothered me. It was as if everyone's parents treated you like an addition to their own family I loved feeling that "all round " security in the village.

Doesn’t bother me at all.

I don't mind what I'm called as long as the manner is friendly. I also use "guys" regularly but due to many objecting because it is traditionally male I often use folks instead.

Language has and will continue to evolve and older people need to let go of the meanings we attach to some words. Prime example -Gay - Also 40 years ago it was common to use bird or chick for a woman now it is not acceptable so I'm told. I'm sure that our parents had the same issue as we are having today.

I'm glad "dude" is popular again.

I'd rather people I talk to did not gush and flatter by using pet names at me. I don't find people who gush, including nurses who gush, to be reassuring rather the opposite.

Quite different are local dialects when everyone is called "Pet" or "Me Duck".

My stepson refers to us as you guys. I hate it. I am not and never will be a guy.
Folks is a good alternative.
I don't like hun either. And dear is only ok sometimes.

Pet is used a lot where I live, I don't mind as it is better than no conversation.
I call both my GDs 'sweetie' because I muddle up their names.

I've decided I really like being called "guys" its how our sons, and granddaughters address us, with a "I really miss you guys" of late when we speak or text, always said with affection. Also don't mind it from restaurant waiters, I find it quite affable.

It depends on the context and the tone.

In Cornwall, old chaps sometimes call us "moi loverrr" which I rather like.

Slightly different..... but it annoys me when people say goodbye ...see you later.....you don’t know them so of course you won’t see them later! !

I really hate being called dear. It makes me feel like I'm a hundred rather than in my sixties.

I’m a “love” or “duck” person, everyone says it where I live. I’m not a fan of “hun”.

Never crosses my mind or do I dwell on it. I think it is often said if someone doesn’t know your name.

I had a work colleague who only ever called me ‘mate’ when he’d made a mistake or was trying to get round me to agree with him or to do something for him; I knew what was coming next and it certainly raised my hackles then and does now, especially if they’re being patronising. Otherwise fair game.

I used to work somewhere quite remote and we had a daily visit from a man in a van selling sandwiches etc. The word would go round and a stampede for the door always resulted in a long queue. We noticed the seller would always use "my dear" and "mate" to the younger ones and "madam" or "sir" to the older ones. I was in my late 30s and quite taken aback to hear him say to a colleague (older than me by a couple of years) "thanks my dear - enjoy your lunch!" and then turn to me with a serious look and a "yes madam, what can I get you?" I didn't particularly want to be called "my dear" but "madam" was rather galling!

Beware of me if I call you sweetie... it means I am angry. I have a name, and I hate being called love and hun, especially by strangers.

Do you really think people from the South are mouthy? Perhaps it’s a joke. Different places use different expressions.

I don't really take much notice. Still, there's a tendency to call older ladies 'dear', 'love' etc. that I suppose we really should object to?

I like being called these names, I find it warm and not patronising, it’s just friendly, we had visitors from Devon who called our young daughters ‘maids’. I call our children and grandchildren pet names. and I also like my name being shortened by those I care for. What I don’t like though is when formality is expected, eg, I don’t like the bank manager calling me by my first name when I have never met them.

I totally agree Nanna8, especially by young assistants in shops - I almost feel as though they’re then going to pat me on my head as they send me on my way! And if I make some kind of comment I’ve had them saying “Ah bless” And they do in a special kind of sweet voice.
I’m sure they mean it kindly but it makes me feel SO old and cross. So glad to read you feel the same, such a comfort, thank you.

After living in Somerset for many years I became quite used to being addressed by complete strangers as "my luvverrrrrrr". As long as it's friendly I don't mind any pet term.