Being patronising or maybe not ?

Don’t I know it Alexa

None of these bother me - it’s better than being ignored.

However, I object to professional people calling me by my first name, as if they know me personally.

I don't mind most terms of endearment as a rule it's just things are said. When some people say "mate" they can be quite menacing, likewise when someone say "bless your heart" sometimes they are being friendly and other times they're being snidey & patronising, it's all in the tone .

In spite of tight denims and bleached hair, I suddenly felt old when locum doctor bent down to me and in a loud voice called me “darling”.

Yes, I agree with you! Calling someone you don't know well by these over-familiar terms is, in my opinion, utterly disrespectful and tantamount to bad manners! ?
I was born in 1957, and brought up to show respect and good manners to everyone, especially older people! That included not using over-familiar terminology when addressing people I didn't know well! ?
To this day, I still feel uncomfortable calling friends of my parents - now in their late 80s and 90s - by anything other than their formal title, and I am nearly 64 now! ?
Even as a child, I was rather pedantic, and I am probably even more so now that I am a "senior"!? However, in my opinion, respect, good manners and common decency are never old-fashioned! ?. Unfortunately, these are things which seem to be sadly lacking in today's society! ? Just my personal opinion, I don't expect everyone to share it!

Gelisajams, thank you.

I detest it...

In the 1980's we had American colleagues who were then in their 20's. They always referred to us as 'you guys'. So I imagine that the expression has reached the UK from America. I don't think of it as modern though. I live in the South of England, although I was brought up in the North. I have not come across any 'loud mouthed Southerners' in all the years of living here. Folks are folks as far as I am concerned.

I don’t mind at all, in fact I quite like it (unless it’s obviously part of an insult!)

I'm in the North West and in this area it's very common (outside of formal settings) to call people (of either sex) "love". I do it myself. It's a form of friendliness. If I was, for instance, in hospital, and a nurse said to me "Are you all right, my love?" it would seem much more caring and friendly than if she/he had just said "Are you all right, Mrs Moggy?".

Me too!! My pet hate !

pydora

Me too!! My pet hate !

Puzzler61

Me too!! My pet hate !

I was quite taken aback the first time a waiter referred to three of us ladies as ‘guys’. Now I don’t mind at all. My wonderful DiL calls us you guys all the time.
I have a really good friend who calls me hun, sweetheart, lovely lady and other endearments that I really dislike but can’t bring myself to tell her. She also does the aw bless thing too.

I remember being called 'hen' at a Parents' Evening in SE England by a Scottish dad. I thought it was delightful!
When I lived in E Midlands, it was 'me duck'. I loved it.
I used to have a variety of endearments for my pupils.

nanna8 like you, I hate hun!!

tickingbird

It doesn’t irritate me in the slightest. I think it’s rather nice. I find it irritating that people get on their high horse just because someone is trying to be pleasant.

Same here. however, I guess it could be because I grew up in a part of the country where this was common and thought to be friendly nothing more, nothing less. It was also a common occurrence to walk into a shop and exchange a few pleasantries about the day/events and leave feeling happy after having had a little friendly chat. Something quite rare where I live now.

I dont mind being called anything just as long as it's not a swear word.

I think it depends on context and tone. A sarcastic, "Dear," would live me spitting blood whilst a friendly tone with the same word wouldn't bother me at all.
I can't remember the words used at our son's college Parent's Evening but I do remember both my husband and I being astonished at the address by the lecturer to us as we walked in and out. We both felt it was completely unprofessional and when he couldn't give us examples of our son's "disruption" of the tone of the class, we were completely perplexed. He wasn't being loud (something I could visualise), he wasn't getting up and moving about the classroom when he shouldn't be, he was always able to complete the work and he hadn't made any disparaging comments about the lecturer that he could hear. Finally, when the lecturer actually swore in his summary and called me "Love" and offered the only hand shake to my husband, we just decided he was a Tosser!

Oh I don't mind at all - I like it. Here, in the North West, it is quite usual to call people love, lovey - it's just our way of being friendly and certainly not meant to be patronising. And contrary to some posters on this thread, I would rather people (strangers and friends alike) do call me by my Christian name; calling me Mrs just makes me feel so old!

I'm with you nanna8, hate it, especially when it's a young shop assistant, 'yes love what can l get you' what happened to madam, and sir or nothing

Paperbackwriter

In Cornwall, old chaps sometimes call us "moi loverrr" which I rather like.

I like this one very much as I live in Cornwall too. I

don't really mind any of the expressions, and I use 'you guys' a lot for a mixed group of people. On one of the blogs I follow, a DIY/crafts one, both of the couple refer to each other as 'my babes' all the way through e.g. 'my babes asked me to make a...' Ive heard 'babes' said TO the person, but not in the third person!

Whoops didn't preview!

"You can call me anything you like, but don't call me late for dinner" .

I don't mind any of the terms, it's the context or tone of voice which can cause offence, rather than the actual word or name used.

I don’t mind what they call me. It depends on their attitude - friendly or patronising. I noticed that I received a lot more ‘Dear’ and ‘Darling’ when I was briefly being pushed about in a wheelchair. Some people seemed to think that being immobilised also makes you feeble-minded.

My ex husband has started calling me love/pet it REALLY annoys me. He didn't call me nice things when I was married to him ?