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Soop's welcoming kitchen for friendly folk

(541 Posts)
soop Wed 17-Feb-21 12:34:39

Here we are again...
Happy as can be in the circumstances
All good pals and jolly good company.

WELCOME dear kitcheners, old and new. smile

Panache Wed 17-Feb-21 12:44:13

These places of sanctuary remain ever open and I very much feel "at home" when I step inside.

Many of you have sadly already travelled down this very difficult road I am now travelling,others sadly will also follow at some point.
The circle of life continues.

Thank you for thinking,caring and offering prayers for us,they are very much appreciated.
Quite frankly although very much an "up & down" bumpy road over the past almost 2 years,I still was not fully prepared for how I can deal and cope with what appears to be this final chapter in a love story spanning some 53 years,married for 52 years.
My dearest has not just been a good,kind husband, great provider, but an able carer for both my crippled,aged Foster mother and myself .....through many cancers and debilitating poor health.........he has fought tooth and nail from the moment his terminal diagnoses was laid bare.
I have felt totally inadequate in the care he has needed latterly,probably due to lack of sleep and inability to eat.......but I have certainly done my very best to support him every step of the way.

Many of you will well recall the original difficulties because we lived in a large property in an acre of grounds,without any family back up, I feared greatly for our survival.
With a lot of support from good friends here I managed the quite monumental move from this property, moving into advanced Sheltered housing within some 6 weeks following the devastating diagnoses.

Had it not been for Covid with the request for both of us to shield since March of last year,we could have enjoyed summertime and possably even last autumn,however here we were............. virtually prisoners in our new home.
Yet again, ever the optomists we simply valued this special time shared together in our new little home.
Counting our blessings daily.
Then my dear one`s pain started overtaking life as we then knew it, and whilst my beloved still fought with real tenacity,always hopeful,still looking forward to a brighter tomorrow.
However these last many months have become one of true heart break.
The outside help has been abysmal at best,it has caused me increased worries,forever chasing Medical care and all manner of help.
There have been far too many moments......and days........of real despair.
Obstacles galore at every turning.
There is hardly anything much worse than seeing the love of your life suffering so very much,and despite all your own efforts, there is still such vital gaps in his care.
This has proved to be an enormous extra burden,time and time again chasing people via the phone.............when my heart denotes I need to be simply alongside my man.
Help is now coming in thick and fast,my dearest has just returned from one emergency dash into 2 different Hospitals,whilst yesterday another emergency trip following experiencing a very frightening episode................we are well aware time is fast running out.
I am running on empty and deeply upset at a million things I cannot or am unable to resolve,life can indeed be very cruel at times.

Quite frankly as we count down these days ahead I am as if in a wilderness,I have no idea which way to turn.
I only know I will have to follow the painful route many of you have already travelled..............whether I come out on the other side is highly debateable.

Sadly I have not been able to keep in touch with those of you whom have proved kindness itself.
But now I have a spare moment I feel I need to offer up a big thank you to all those lovely friends made through your Kitchen sanctuary Soop..........and indeed Doodle`s welcome thread from the early Lockdown may never know how much your friendship,support and that odd quiet but meaningful kind word has uplifted me when often, I have felt so down deep in the doldrums.
So much strength shown through these pages which tells me I must fight on and find some kind of pathway beyond these feelings of grief and lonliness already creeping in.

I truly must find that extra strength to meet these very dark days. I cannot give in or give up when my dear man has shown such great strength throughout.

Sending my very best wishes and every blessing to you all.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 17-Feb-21 12:44:30

A new kitchen, how time flies.

The sun is struggling to appear through the clouds, no plans for today (as usual) I do hope that the spring/summer brings a lightening of hearts and moods and the gradual return to normalcy.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 17-Feb-21 12:45:52

Dear Panache I hold you and your DH in my prayers.
Hold your beloveds hand and tell him how much you love him as often as you can flowers

baubles Wed 17-Feb-21 12:52:54

Dear Panache, your love for your husband shines out from your post. If ever I were to find myself in a similar situation I could only hope to be able to face it with half of your fortitude. I’m not one for prayer but I’m holding you both in my thoughts. flowers

NanaandGrampy Wed 17-Feb-21 12:59:20

Hello new kitchen !!

I hope there’s plenty of cake 😁

Sending you a hug Panache for your troubled times .

Jaxjacky Wed 17-Feb-21 13:00:35

Oh panache my heart aches for you, your abiding love and strength are humbling. I send my love.

Yiayia4 Wed 17-Feb-21 13:01:49

Dear Panache no words from me just my thoughts and prayers.💐

Baggs Wed 17-Feb-21 13:04:46

Panache flowers

Grandmabatty Wed 17-Feb-21 13:05:33

Panache You are am amazing woman. Just keep going one step at a time. My best wishes to you and your husband.
I am happy to see the new thread. After two days of babysitting, today is relatively quiet. I've walked to Aldi for bread etc, hoovered the house and washed the kitchen floor. This afternoon should be a WhatsApp chat with friends. Fish pie for tea. Take care all.

Puzzler61 Wed 17-Feb-21 13:10:27

Love can conquer all Panache and it’s clear you and your husband have shared a lifetime of love. Just be there, holding his hand and keeping him comfortable on this terribly sad journey. Thinking of you and so sorry you are in this situation.
🕊 (this is a dove of peace, although tiny it has great importance at a time like now).

Galen Wed 17-Feb-21 13:11:20

panache you will get through it. Because you have to.
It’s not completely bleak on the other side ,and as time passes things improve.
My prayers are with you both

Susan56 Wed 17-Feb-21 13:28:53

Panache,I am so sorry for the very sad time you are facing.The great love you and your dear husband have for each other has always shone through your posts.Please know we are both thinking of you and holding you in our prayers.With much love.x💐

cornergran Wed 17-Feb-21 13:47:25

Welcome home galen. Pleased you made it

flowers panache. Love and a hug for you both.

More dust removal is calling me. Where does it come from?


BladeAnnie Wed 17-Feb-21 13:59:58

A new kitchen for me to bring chocolate and toffee cupcakes courtesy of DD1 for Mr BAs birthday (he won't mind sharing!!). Panache I hardly know what to say - there are no words but I am sending you lots of love to help get you through this awful time. Virtual hugs all around dear people and stay safe

Pittcity Wed 17-Feb-21 14:05:59

I had just got comfy and you've moved!
I find a wonderful new kitchen full of love and support for Panache, Galen and all who need it....probably all of us at present....big hugs and pass the teapot, please xx

Greyduster Wed 17-Feb-21 14:21:11

Hello, the NEW kitchen. Panache if there was a way to put an arm around your shoulder, I would surely do it. 💐. My heart goes out to you and your DH.

Lins1066 Wed 17-Feb-21 14:29:59

Just read your post Panache, you know that you're both in my thoughts and prayers. You are a very brave and eloquent lady 💐

Welcome home Galen.
A pot of fresh coffee and some jam and coconut sponge for the new kitchen.

silverlining48 Wed 17-Feb-21 14:35:17

Panache such a wonderful tribute to your husband, you are both so lucky to have spent so many years together and I send my greetings and flowers in these difficult times.

soop Wed 17-Feb-21 14:37:58

There is much to catch up with. I was surprised to find our previous kitchen door locked. That is not good enough. Now that we are together again, I need to add a few of my own thoughts.

Grandmafrench Your message referring to ann's triumph over adversity is spot on. You are a good hearted lady. Wise words, well said.

Welcome to manna - I must recap on Urms soap dish recipe. What have I missed? Is it calorie free?

muse You are doing your best for Mya. When she's hungry, she'll thank you for providing her with the special diet.

corner Family news of an upsetting nature can often overwhelm us. I have discovered that time and patience can be the key to satisfactory resolutions. I'm hoping so for your sake.
Our annual family gathering was postponed thanks to Covid. In September, we'll have been apart for two years. I shall be 80 in August. My dearest wish is to spend a few hours with them all before the year ends. A little hope goes a long way. Remain hopeful. smile

Woop woop!!! Our Galen has been released returned to her rightful abode. Us lot are chuffed for you. Take things at an easy pace. I recommend thick buttered toast, topped with delicious Marmite. It works for me.

annsixty A thorough cleaner is worth her weight in gold. I would like to add that you are doing extremely well with your recovery. I know that it takes time to regain one's confidence. I've had three bad falls since my hips were replaced. They have stayed intact. Today's orthopaedic procedures are to be commended.

Puzzler the little ceramic birds are delightful. This morning, I spotted a tree creeper outside the bedroom window. I grabbed the camera but it refused to pose for a decent photo. As you will note, it's a bit of a blurrrrr.

Panache Your post comes from the core of your being. Your love for your husband will continue until the very end...and beyond. My heart goes out to you. We in the kitchen are here whenever you need to share your feelings. You are much respected and well loved. flowers

soop Wed 17-Feb-21 14:40:41

Welcome to all our dear Kitcheners. Pull up a comfortable chair, pass the cake, and let us be thankful that we have each other's companionship throughout this testing time. Here's to kinder times ahead.

grandmajet Wed 17-Feb-21 15:07:23

I tried to pop in earlier, but you we’re closed so I went away and baked some cheese scones - I hope you like them.
Panache, I don’t really know anyone here but your post moved me to tears. You are right, we all have to tread your path at some time in our lives, but that can make little difference to how dreadfully difficult it must be. Your love for your husband is evident in every word. I don’t know what to say.
Galen, I guess you’ve just returned from a hospital stay - well done actually getting out. The last time I was in hospital, the catering lady came round to take tea orders for that evening - I said,’ I’ll be going soon, just waiting for my medication’, to which she replied ‘ see you at teatime’!
Thank you all for the opportunity of a comfy sit-down.

kittylester Wed 17-Feb-21 15:08:04

Just popped in for a break from doing my Sainsbury's online shop to find you've moved and to see Panache's lovely tribute to her husband. We will be here whenever you need us panache.

I believe you are home galen - well done! I hope you have lots of support.

I'll just steal some cake and go and finish my flipping shop.


annsixty Wed 17-Feb-21 15:19:18

Dear Panache my thoughts are with you as are everyone’s.
Those of us who have been there know just how it is.
Hold fast to your resolve and your love for each other.
It can never be taken away from you.

Yiayia4 Wed 17-Feb-21 15:35:31

Warm Baklava for the nice new kitchen.
It’s been snowing in Corfu and my friend’s village was minus four on Monday very rare indeed!

Welcome home Galen
For CornerGran💐 and for poorly dogs🦴
Still thinking of you Panache
Take care everyone else and keep safe.