Unacceptable

Was it half-term? Surely your daughter should have told you they were going away.

greeneyes57 - you're both to blame for this - it takes two minutes, less if you text, just before you leave to pick your GS up to check that he's actually at school (not been sent home because of sickness or the school closed early for whatever) , and likewise that's how long it would take your daughter to check in with you that you're OK to collect him (car not broken down or you not feeling well). It's all about communication between you and your daughter - you need to agree that you always touch base before you leave for him. Personally, I would have been annoyed if I'd done the journey whether it took 5 or 50 minutes only to find that your daughter had been away for the weekend and not come home. Why didn't she just tell you at any point over the weekend that they were away? A bit selfish if you ask me - it could have been done by a few words on a text. I suggest you improve your communication.

You are not being unreasonable green eyes! I have also had this happen to me in that my son had forgotten to tell us that he had a day off work so we didn’t need to look after his daughter on our usual day. We only found out about this after driving to our usual pick up place for 8.30 in the morning which necessitates an hour & half round trip!

It was a genuine mistake and their childcare arrangements were suitably complicated that it was a genuine oversight. It has never happened again!

So yes, while hugely annoying I wouldn’t take it personally, perhaps a phone call or text the day before picking up might be a good idea as there can be lots of reasons for a child’s non attendance at school e.g. illness and staff training days.

Appalling lack of thought, I do hope you made your feelings known, especially to your daughter who will feel it more and so hopefully ensure it never happens again.

I understand how frustrating and worrying this was for you. But as a single mistake I agree with others, it will be far better to let it go. We all make mistakes - and I think her words "You are at the school!" were probably her painful realisation that she had forgotten. Look at other threads about families falling out - it isn't worth risking bad feeling, or worse, over one oversight, however upsetting it was at the time. Forgiveness and understanding will lead to a better relationship and I think you will be glad if you didn't make this into a matter of blame. Of course its ok to say in a calm and courteous way that it worried you and you'd be glad if it didn't happen again, while understanding that people do sometimes forget.

My DH forgot to collect our daughter from Brownies one evening in Winter. She started walking home in the dark on a quiet country lane, poor thing. When he arrived home we had words and obviously he went straight there. No harm done but we often remind him!!

I agree! Not worth a big row. Just say it was rather annoying and a bit worrying as you had no idea why grandchild had not come out of school. I imagine your daughter feels bad. In her circumstances, I would be buying you flowers and saying the above to you before you said it to her!

LisaP

When I collect my GrandDaughter from school (She is 7) and I bring her home to my house - even though we have arranged it previously I will get a message that day 'Dont forget....'
Then I get another message later on 'You're doing the school run right?'
Then I will get another message 'Are you on your way to the school?'
Then another message 'Let me know when you have her'. The another one.. 'Let me know when you get home' - then finally 'Are you home' Phew - talk about overkill
Oh but then it all starts again when I am due to take her home....

After all the messaging do they send you a Thankyou message?

They may not be in covid restrictions but its still blagging school when the other kids were clearly IN school.?Or does Australia not mind about that?

Here in blighty we get fined for holidays in term time.?

I thought we were not allowed ‘to go away’ ie travel we are still under restrictions.

I suggest to ALL of you who do these 'long trips' that they get someone closer to do the school runs if the parents can't because of work commitments..it seems ridiculous to me that they rely on you to do this.And that they don't communicate properly with you when you are. I never relied on my mum to take or pick up any of my kids in their school years- that was up to me, or their dad, as their parents.

Was this an emergency ? Does DD does know how to use a telephone? Decided to go off seemingly? at the last minute
knowing you usually pick up GD from school.
Hang on a minute while I cool down.

Everyone forgets things...it is life. No point in stressing over minor things.

2old4this- OP in Australia, and 'free to travel' apparently.Different rules.

I am sure you were terribly worried waiting for a child who didn't appear and I really admire you for not having lost your temper on the phone with your daughter.

I would let it be this time, but if it should happen again then you will need to tell your daughter that you were scared sick waiting for the child and that will she please make sure to tell you in advance if he is not going to school.

It was inconsiderate of her, but we all make mistakes at times, and it is not worth starting a family row about.

If OP is annoyed enough to come on here asking our thoughts then clearly is annoyed enough to ring the daughter and say so.so maybe should.?

donna1964

LisaP

When I collect my GrandDaughter from school (She is 7) and I bring her home to my house - even though we have arranged it previously I will get a message that day 'Dont forget....'
Then I get another message later on 'You're doing the school run right?'
Then I will get another message 'Are you on your way to the school?'
Then another message 'Let me know when you have her'. The another one.. 'Let me know when you get home' - then finally 'Are you home' Phew - talk about overkill
Oh but then it all starts again when I am due to take her home....

After all the messaging do they send you a Thankyou message?

Um - 'Thank You' what is this word you speak of

We have all forgotten things at some time. It often seems on here that nobody has ever made a mistake.

If the family was excited about a weekend away then surely DD would have remembered to let you know. Was this decided all on a Saturday? How was the school informed about your GC absence or isn't that a standard procedure in Australia. Surely informing school would be linked to informing you. Why were DDs first words "were you at the school"? I would be very annoyed and expect some form of treat by way of an apology.

Might be time to find you are 'too busy' occasionally - I think your availability is being taken for granted.

Too many excuses made. Your daughter really should have informed you. This could have had all sorts of repercussions at the school when you came to collect a child who was not there. What if you hadn’t been able to contact your daughter immediately? It must have been very worrying for you. In future I would ask your daughter to contact you every Sunday to confirm the arrangement. Why should the onus be on you when you are doing her a favour?

Given that it is a 30/40 min journey for you, it is pretty bad that they forgot to tell you, but I guess everyone can make a mistake, however should it ever happen again I think you would have to reconsider & decide if you want to opt out.good luck & best wishes.

What does 'acceptable' mean? What are you going to do, withdraw from Grandparent duties? Do you want Oprah's number?

Not worth falling out over.
If it was a one-off, it's an oversight in the excitement of a wee holiday and best forgotten.
If it happens from time to time, then a quick text on Sunday each week to confirm he'll be at school on Monday and they'd like you to pick him up is needed.