Gut feelings

I try to take everybody as I find them. I have a friend who everybody said to avoid like the plague but he was loyal and was somebody I could turn to in a crisis.
My didn't like my husband the first time I met him, I thought he was shallow. He's actually the most thoughtful and caring person I have ever met.
Kamiso, do you know something the police don't? I thought they didn't know for sure who had taken Susie Lamplugh.

I wouldn’t necessarily call it ‘gut instinct’ but some people are much better judges of character than others. I once disliked someone who was very popular and well-liked. Turned out I was right because the person was a thief who ran off with our union hardship fund.

Kamiso. What?

I attended a talk by Susie Lamplugh’s mother. Susie had told her mother on several occasions that the man who murdered her made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

When Diana founded a support group for parents in a similar position, several of the murdered girls had experienced the same feeling.

there is a very interesting book called Blink which is about how gut feelings can have a basis in objective fact. The book says though that the best way to use gut feeling is not to trust it blindly but to work with it to establish the basis for the gut feeling....because sometimes it can be as wrong as "his voice is like my ex who abused me therefore he is an abuser"

I do find though that when it comes to decisions, after I have done the objective front of brain stuff, I ask myself if I feel comfortable with my decision and if I don't then I don't go ahead regardless of what the facts say.

My ex husband went into business with a man who I just really disliked from the moment I met him. I voiced my opinion about the man and the business but was talked into accepting it by the promise of moving to a better house. The business never got off the ground, my husband lost his day job and we ended up losing our home and being threatened by bailiffs. I trust my instincts even more now.

i go with gut feeling . if it doesnt feel right dont do it ..or say something to someone ...

You’re so right, the brain and gut are intrinsically linked.

I was engaged to a guy and I kept getting this feeling in my gut something wasn’t right. I ignored it for about 6 weeks but it wouldn’t go away. So I did a white lie and told my him that someone had messaged me to say he was with someone else and had being for 6 weeks. Now it could have gone two ways. But when he said I wanted to tell you. I met her 6 weeks ago lol so yes I’d definitely trust my gut in future. We lived 150 miles apart. We split in Feb before first lockdown. Oh and she didn’t last. Think I’m off men and going stay single

Agree coconut, though I didn’t get that so much with Rolf Harris. Certainly with creepy Jimmy and Gary Glitter though. I can’t understand why those working with them didn’t pick it up or perhaps they just chose to ignore those feelings.

Oh yes, and I always trust it. Apparently it was evident in me even as a youngster. My mother sensed my reaction to places when they were flat hunting and went with it! In practice now it raises red flags that I am mindful of especially with people. It is like knowing something that is unknowable deep inside and enables me to be cautious. Occasionally it is about a choice another person makes, and I wait for a right moment to gently share. Sometimes I have to wait a long time!

I’ve learnt thro the years to really listen to my inner feelings. Sometimes you meet someone and instantly click or instantly you feel on edge. I’ve also had this with celebs, I’ve always hated Rolf Harris, Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter, even tho I didn’t know them I truly disliked them .... and look what’s happened there.

I always listen to that feeling. It never let's me down. It was also cause of much embarrassment many years ago. Arrived at airport in USA with new husband to meet in laws. Very crowded arrival area. Noticed a woman at other side of area. Had awful feeling about her. Said to husband....see that woman over there...there is something about her I do not like. He looked and said 'that's my mother'. That feeling I had was so right. She was not nice at all.

I trust my gut feelings. I occassionally get them about people and have always been right in professional and personal life.

My DH is better with gut feelings than me. He is a man of few words but what he does say is always worth listening to. I am the opposite I tend to think the best of people. When our older son brought his first serious girlfriend home to meet us DH’s gut feeling was that she wasn’t right for our son. I tore into him and said he should support our son’s choice which he did but kept his feelings to himself. After 7 years, a marriage and two children DH was proved right, a great deal of heartache came our son’s way but we were there to help him through. I have asked my son if he would have listened to his father had he verbalised his feelings but he says he wouldn’t have and it may have caused a rift between him and his Dad who he looks up to.

Also some people look nice until they open their mouths. Some are far more interesting once they do start to speak.

jane I wish more could be that way.

Ellianne
Fascinating. So how does that work online? Why do people take such strong instant likes or dislikes to others who post on social media?

Today 12:42 nanna8
Purely by what they post, no body language involved

But what people post can often be interpreted in several different ways.
It’s usually better to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than rushing to judgement, whether you’re using your brain or your gut to make decisions about people.

Purely by what they post, no body language involved . In real life I am sure some of those who sound particularly nasty and prissy aren't and vice versa. Fun, isn't it?

Fascinating. So how does that work online? Why do people take such strong instant likes or dislikes to others who post on social media?

Bluebelle I take people totally at face value and yes I ve been ‘let down’ more than once but is that my naivety or is it just that I m willing to give a chance I m glad people give me a chance

Well said.
“Seek first to understand, and then to be understood”.
From Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

It`s not always about people BlueBelle.
But i do take people at face value until that gut feelings starts to niggle me.

Lucca

“Your last sentence is open to misinterpretation Lolo!

Hahaha!! To be fair I listen to those signals too now as I get on in years!!?

But what if you don’t have these ‘gut fellings’ timetogo isn’t it just a kind way of saying your judging before you know
I take people totally at face value and yes I ve been ‘let down’ more than once but is that my naivety or is it just that I m willing to give a chance
I m glad people give me a chance

I try to take people as they come. However, twice in life I've met people that I instinctively disliked and I can't think why. I was discussing this with DH only last weekend. He also disliked these two. Both men and one of them many years ago, the other more recent. I just don't know what it was that triggered this reaction in us both. The one we knew years ago went on to prove himself an absolute rotter (actually exposed in the papers as so) the other one turns out to be unpopular with all our friends too. Both were boyfriends of very nice, popular women.
There was just something off putting about them or was it our gut that warned us about them?