Gut feelings

I try to take everybody as I find them. I have a friend who everybody said to avoid like the plague but he was loyal and was somebody I could turn to in a crisis.
My didn't like my husband the first time I met him, I thought he was shallow. He's actually the most thoughtful and caring person I have ever met.
Kamiso, do you know something the police don't? I thought they didn't know for sure who had taken Susie Lamplugh.

Gut feelings are linked to the need to avoid disease. Abnormal or damaged individuals might be carrying pathogens - think leprosy.

Having realised this, a more considered response could be helpful.

Personality assessments are a rather different proposition. Some people seem to be better at judging what is under the surface than others. I'm always wary if I get prompts to be wary and would always listen to a friend I knew well if they had reservations.

I call it ‘antennae’ and mine are much better than dh’s.
Not so much in recent years, but my antennae for detecting a predatory woman (I mean as in the type who’d pinch anyone else’s bloke just to prove that she could do it) were always spot on.
Dh could never see it, but for pretty obvious reasons, I doubt that many men can.

For me it’s different with suspect men - either creepy or who give off a bad vibe. I get a much more visceral reaction - can’t say it’s happened very often though.

I used to work in a boys’ boarding school and we had a new member of the Bursary team. I never felt comfortable with him, and made sure I kept the door open if I had to go to see him. I voiced my ‘fears’ to one or two people who just thought I was over-reacting. However, a couple of years later he was taken away by the police and his office and home computers were taken. Say no more....

I've never judged a person on their appearance however I tend to trust my gut as it's generally been proved right. I think it comes from having had several traumatic events over the years as well as dealing with people throughout my working life. Although I try to override my instincts & resolve to give others the benefit of the doubt, unless there's evidence, my instincts been generally proven correct.

Witzend

I call it ‘antennae’ and mine are much better than dh’s.
Not so much in recent years, but my antennae for detecting a predatory woman (I mean as in the type who’d pinch anyone else’s bloke just to prove that she could do it) were always spot on.
Dh could never see it, but for pretty obvious reasons, I doubt that many men can.

For me it’s different with suspect men - either creepy or who give off a bad vibe. I get a much more visceral reaction - can’t say it’s happened very often though.

I can spot predatory women a mile away. I think many women can. Men seem to be oblivious though

People, I take at face value but I do get gut feelings about situations and decisions.
I have only twice in my life ignored a strong gut feeling that I should not do something and both times it was totally disastrous.
So yes! I trust my gut!

It has taken me years to trust my “gut” feelings... someone once told me, you may not always know exactly what is triggering the feeling, but if your instincts tell you something is “off” then something is OFF! Trust your instincts.

Yes! I always have done, and on a couple of occasions over many years I’ve been talking to a person standing next to another, and felt very strong vibes from the person I wasn’t interacting with, very hard to explain! And I’ve not spoken to them directly, it’s not that I judge a book by it’s cover either, I’m a sociable friendly person, but yes I can feel negativity coming from certain people, always trust my gut feelings and so far not let me down

Also if someone says to me so and so should be avoided I never take notice I make up my own mind when speak to them

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkCosmos, yes, and it often doesn’t take a genius, since such women will typically behave rather differently in an all-female setting, than when there are blokes around, so no wonder they tend to be suckers.

A dd once warned a close male friend about one such - ‘Please don’t get involved with her - she’s a grade A b*itch,’ (or words to that effect.).

Only to be met with, ‘How can you say that? She’s really sweet!’ If dd hadn’t also been very attractive I dare say he’d have said, ‘You’re just jealous!’

Of course the poor bloke had to find out the hard way - sadder and wiser a few months down the line.

My gut feelings are normally bang on.

Always trust them. If I’m persuaded that I am not rational, often time proves me right!

I give people a chance to begin with and then my gut feeling seems to kick in.

My gut instinct is almost always correct - when I am suspcious of certain new "friends" we have met over the years, I am usually right. Although I am not so sure this is gut instinct, so much as my brain making logical conclusions based on previous experience!

Yes I do tend to judge people on first meeting. Sometimes I’m wrong but on the whole I’m right. I don’t dislike them but I know I won’t be best buddies with them. . Just different personalities or nothing in common.
I do keep my friends forever and would never let them go! It takes time and effort to keep friends (hope that doesn’t sound spooky)

Theoddbird

I always listen to that feeling. It never let's me down. It was also cause of much embarrassment many years ago. Arrived at airport in USA with new husband to meet in laws. Very crowded arrival area. Noticed a woman at other side of area. Had awful feeling about her. Said to husband....see that woman over there...there is something about her I do not like. He looked and said 'that's my mother'. That feeling I had was so right. She was not nice at all.

i've read or possibly heard that exact same incident somewhere else recently.
have you posted it elsewhere, or told it on a radio phone-in.
it's bothering me now. is it a brain mix-up, deja-vu like ?

i understand what jeanainsworth et alia is saying, but i think the opposite can also happen.
that we can be blinded by a person's plausibe persona or position, their book-cover, to dismiss any misgivings we may have about them.
a neighbour attending boring saturday boys' football, kept walking around the muddy park pitch to get away from a creepy man in a raincoat !, who kept trying to talk to her.
afterwards her son said, mum why were you walking away from the headmaster. she had no idea who he was.
a few years later he was arrested and jailed for indecency.

I have a biography of one of the ladies who was a radio operator in France during WW2. During their training, the girls were told to always trust their instincts. We all subconsciously read someone's body language, when we first meet them.

i tend to be the type of person that either likes or dislikes on first meeting, i will still be nice and polite but not get too friendly, i have never had many female friends since i left school, my choice as i was not one for clubbing and drinking, all my jobs have been people friendly...shops and hospitals, i will chat to anyone at bus stops and shops and stick up for people being treated badly but i always go with my gut before getting too close to soemone as it is nearly always right.

Yesss. Never deny your gut feelings!

I wouldn’t really call that a guy feeling, just a nasty reaction!

When I first meet someone within 5 minutes I know if I think they are ok or not. I tell myself not to be so stupid every time but I'm always right in the end.
So far I've known those who will steal, those who are abusive and controlling, liars etc
Its hard as you can't tell anyone they don't believe you until it shows many months later.

Gut feelings are there for a reason, I think.
They're just a little extra reminder to be wary.