Childless and changed.

I would only mention my granddaughter to friends with their own grandchildren. A couple of friends don’t have and don’t expect to have grandchildren. One never mentions the subject, the other is always really interested and asks what she is getting up to. My neighbour only has the one grandchild like me, and we love exchanging stories.

Maybe it is more about the fact that her life has now changed and she feels she has nothing to contribute to the group. She doesn't have interesting grandchildren to tell you about, she doesn't have exciting parties to discuss, she hasn't been to any exotic travel locations ... etc.

Perhaps her life has changed more drastically than you and your other friends have experienced. This is what she is regretting.

Hello Newatthis you know your friend better than we do so no idea if she has regrets about not having children. We do not have children and have friends who also do not have children as well as friends with children and grandchildren. When we get together we talk about the interests we share together (usually involving food and wine) our hobbies, holidays etc. rather than their offspring. I have no idea if my friends without children are childless by choice or were unable to have them, it is not something we have ever discussed in all the years we have known each other, we just accept each other the way we are and yes we still have fun!

It’s kind of a little bit sad if we are defined by whether we have GC or C. I don’t see it has any bearing on long standing friendships, unless personal interests are very narrow.

I have children and grandchildren, yet for some reason, all my closest friends have been and are single and childless, some by choice, some not. My own daughter decided very young that she neither wanted children nor any kind of live-in relationship.

She is nearly 50 and has never had any regrets. She loves and enjoys the company of her nephew and niece.

I don’t know the friend so I’ve no idea how she feels, maybe she’s just not interested

Newatthis How awful that you and your group of friends see fit to discuss this persons business between yourselves and then on here. What sort of friends are you?

It could be that you have just grown apart. I do find that over time my circle of friends changes. Maybe she just doesn't think you have very much in common anymore.

Not every woman who doesn't have children regrets it. I think that sometimes society only values women who have reproduced and that somehow you have failed as a woman if you don't have kids, or, as has been said to me in the past, there's something wrong with you if you don't have, or want children.

* hit post before I'd finished, I meant to add;

Children aren't for everyone.

Well said*Greeneyedgirl*. We should not be defined by whether we have children or not but by who we are as a person and what we contribute to and receive from friendships.