The Argy back to basics.

Alarma is a real diva. She has upset Gnasher again by biting him on the rump. He won't retaliate because of her condition so he has come down to the cellar with me for a bit of tlc and poteen. Seems to have cheered him up.

Adaunus you are welcome to join us in the cellar for a tasting session. Thor and I are often blotto after we have tasted several vats of poteen.

Oh poor Gnasher. Thanks for looking after him AGA . I am going to have a serious word with that young madam. Now remind me where did I put my padded bottom. ?

If the serious word doesn't work, doodle, you could always apply a visual approach.

? Pasty is bring prepped * Germanshepherdsmum*

Does anyone have a good chat up line for those beefy beefeaters I can use?

Thank you GSM and Doodle, a small glimmer of hope at last. Bert often takes me for a roll stroll down by the river late at night. If you happen by the Tower mine is the room with the large bloomers hanging from the window.....a girl has to wash her smalls to maintain her standards.

ixion how could you ?

Ooh what a handsome chap you are, I never could resist a man in uniform.

If you do manage to escape Happyme, Madame Fru Fru will make some new bloomers for you. She has some very…..interesting…designs.

Hi muse, I usually find 'anyone fancy a bit of rump' works well. Mmm pasties....how i dream of pasties. They keep talking of giving me the chop here, hope I get more than one, lamb would be nice

Thank you Doodle. As you know I don't usually wear bloomers but it is a bit draughty here in the Tower. If Madam Fru Fru could send me a very large pair maybe I could ? balloon ride out of here.

I am knitting a rope for you Happyme so you can abseil down the tower.

Thank you AGA, that is kind of you. I am more of a swinger than an abseiler though. Please use double knit......I am a bit hefty after my prolonged lockup.

Panic over! Lord L and Flibbety returned, a bit pink in the face and rough round the edges, they had been returning overdue library books apparently ( such a quantity of large print books it needed two to carry the bag) to our nearby town, when they said the car ploughed into a ditch halfway there.Lord L had to carry Flibbety into the wood and apply emergency first aid to her.After an hour, she was sufficiently composed to walk back here with the strong arms ( well, one strong arm) of Lord L to help her along, poor thing.
His good tweed suit is quite ruined with grass stains, what a saint the man is.?

I have helped myself to a large brandy ( for my nerves) from the bar, as nobody seems to be about ? what a day!
Holidays courtesy of Her Maj are quite usual around here, almost a badge of honour you might say....we will have some porridge on the go when you get out so that you feel at home.

Oh lemon what a relief. I must admit to feeling a little guilty. I assumed Lord Lemongrove was having it off in the woods with Flibbety and all the time it was an innocent trip to the library. Sorry I was out the back with the llamas and Thor is in the cellar with AGA. Did you see the Admiral on your way in, he said he had something huge for me. I wonder what it could be??

It was his wooden leg Doodle he said he had brought it in for some polishing and that you were the expert.He did have a twinkle in the eye though, so watch yourself.

Not available earlier, been asking around re •Happy • then it was film night, Bridges of Madison County, sad, rotten ending. I’d have gone with Clint. Anyway, quick update before lights out. River transport could be arranged. Had a thought for Plan B, pasties for late roll, sorry stroll with Bert, Mickey Finn in his?

Two pasties ready GSM. Got my heels on and I've squeezed into my 2nd best frilly blouse. MrMs got the best one on. I'm off to put Plan B into action?? Must remember which pasty ? is which.

Doodle. I spotted the Admiral by the nursery. He looked happy but was struggling to walk.

Thanks Muse. Will the ‘doctored’ pasty be fairly quick to act? The river transport that can be arranged by someone here (no names, no pack drill), would be a speedboat with expert ‘driver’ - remember in a high profile job near the Thames a few years ago?

PS Please don’t take offence Happy but if we do use the speedboat I would need two pairs of bloomers, don’t know about you!

Oh no, I only have one pair....could you put in an order for a multi pack from Madame Fru Fru please Doodle. XXXL should just about cover it ?. Is the Admiral the expert driver GSM....I seem to recall he told me he was a Navy Seal ?.
Ooh I do love a pasty muse hope you have made one for me ?.

Porridge and poteen lemon, what a treat, thank you ?

Setting off for the tower now. Once Bert's eaten his doctored pasty and passed out I'll make may way down to the dungeons.
Listen out for me coming Happyme. Got my heels on. Good luck with the lock pick in the pasty and I reckon you've got about 3 hours before Bert wakes up.

Look out for the speedboat Germanshepherdsmum sorted out.

Looks like your speedboat is en route, gang...

Quick work Muse, you don’t hang around. Careful in those heels on the cobbles.
Yes ixion that could be it. Don’t know the name of the driver - my contact wouldn’t divulge. He is probably a wanted man. Certainly won’t be squeaky clean with these connections. Perhaps leave those bloomers off Happy, he might be quite eligible. Can’t be this Admiral chap if he only has one leg, unless of course the boat has been converted somehow. Might be better to leave the bloomers on then from what I’ve heard about the Admiral, just in case.

I have my bags packed ready. Is there a luggage allowance on the speedboat?? I rather like these lovely ballgowns I found in the closet, they'll be a great addition to the Argy dressing up box. Wonder who AB is, hope she doesn't miss them....finders keepers ?.
The nice baubles I picked up are a bit heavy but nice and shiny, Alarma will look lovely wearing the ?

Everything ready for you here Happyme change of clothes, new bloomers, hair dye and complete makeover from Sheree. No one will recognise you when she’s finished with you. You won’t recognise yourself either ?