The Argy back to basics.

??Que? AGA
You'll have to shout - can't heard a d**n thing in this get up.
And as for ever needing a quick wee, forget it?

Nil desperandum! I will write a cheque out for the takings....how much was it I can’t remember...9/6d?

Ooh 9/6.....that will do. (It was only 5/3 but don't tell lemon)

Tasteful Lemon, that'll be a first ??.

The Ravens have uncovered the source of Lord L's sudden wealth......he is growing ?? ? in the potting shed and selling it to those hussies, that wasn't cigars you saw him smoking AGA.

Ruby and Rowena have taken themselves off to find a scarecrow to scare.

Did you know you were standing in a puddle ixion......ooh I see...whoops...sorry ?

Ooh ixion perhaps add some ‘incontinence wear’ to the outfit for long stake outs. Perhaps the er plants in the potting shed could be liberated to boost the takings then Doodle need never know. I have ‘friends’ here who know people who would buy the objects in question … just need to liberate Lord L first, I’m sure poteen would do the trick, then pounce.

Good idea GSM, I have a feeling that cheque might bounce. We could set up some heat lamps in the Argy cellar (I think Lemon has already bypassed the electric meter) and feed them poteen, will make them super strength...... punters will pay more dosh ?

Great idea Happy. Potting them on as Monty Don would say (pun completely intentional). I’m sure Doodle would be so taken with the enterprising diversification (I read a dictionary in the library yesterday, not much else to do) she wouldn’t notice the takings had disappeared. Lemon’s cheque being honoured (pigs might) would be a bonus.

Oh my cheques are good, but this is Lord Lemongrove’s cheque ( pinched his chequebook for a week) so anything is possible.
Have discovered the two hussies you saw him with are Lurpak Lil and Big Bertha, goodtime gals if ever there was.
I am managing very well without his Lordship, old Dodders seems lighter on his feet, he has taken to smoking a pipe, maybe it’s something to do with that? The Manor is really peaceful, and young (ish) estage gardener Mullers is keeping me company in the long evenings.

Make sure that you padlock the hut, Lord L is an escape artist.
I once locked him in the wine cellar and he got out through the air duct that regulates temperature.He’s thin and bendy.?

We have had enough trouble with drugs at the Argy GSM. Sergeant Nick Kerr and Inspector Groper often come in and sniff the air.
I know the young Mullers Lemon. I went to his 90th birthday party.
Happyme there seem to be a lot of scared scarecrows running away from the fields.

Right AGA, nothing on the premises then. What about my friend here asking his contact to meet ixion in her brilliant disguise at the potting shed, cash in hand, and take them away? No trail back to the Argy.

Good idea GSM. Hope ixion is ok with that. She has had her fair share of getting rid of 'stuff'.

OK, I’ll find out about times and let you know. I expect ixion would prefer it to be dark, bit difficult getting round in that garb in daylight. ixion I was thinking, if you’re handy with a needle perhaps a slight adjustment to your outfit involving press studs??? Hope it’s dried out by now ?

Oops sorry lemon, please apologise to old Dodders and his old cronies....an easy mistake to make.....dressed like that and all. What were they doing in that field anyways, burying something???

10.30pm Sunday at the shed ixion?

#up4it (am learning yoof speak).

Just tell me again, who's inside, what are we trying to capture?
We need Lurpal Lil back smartish for the Bar and there have been rumblings of -er- discontent from the Chippie for her performance, or lack of. I want everything to be just so when doodle gets back?
Who's my beau I'm to liaise with?

I have adjusted my outfit and given it a good wash through. Half the problem seems to be passing wildlife mistaking me for a bush - I'm that authentic.

I would also like to stress that, in future, I shall only be available for winter stakeouts. It's bluddy hot in this get-up.
Thanks x

Right, if Lord L, Lurpak Lil and Big Bertha can be extracted from the shed (offers of free poteen perhaps?) Willy the Weed will give you the dosh in exchange for the vegetation.

Cushty?

Yes, well, ixion we’re all #up4it....Why d’ya think I’m wearing my pvc mini skirt and fishnets?
Two night with Lurpak Lil may finish off poor old Lord L, am feeling sorry for him now, shall we let him out tomorrow?

Hope Willy doesn't mistake you for a weed ixion. Think you should take some back up

Well, he won't be fit for anything else, that's for sure.
What about the handing over of the vegetation on Sunday? We have to get the money back for the till prontissimo

Bloody big weed Happyme.
AreWere you ever a gardener??‍♀️

ooh lemon.....the sight of you in that outfit may well finish Lord L off anyway.

I have been many things ixion, most unmentionable top secret, but a gardener ?, my weeds are a rampant triumph.