Hurtful comment, never forgotten

My dear Granny once told me that I was lucky I had one good leg. She wouldn't tell me which one though!

Just noticed the date of the OP! I expect Shinamae’s shoes are worn out now!

If ugly feet is all that idiot has to worry about then he must be exceedingly boring and dull and have an equally exceedingly boring and dull life! What a moron!

I've got flat feet and fallen arches, big toe on the right foot - the nail is permanently huge, off colour and difficult to cut because of a wheelchair that was pushed over it with someone in it 30 odd years ago, I've never seen a foot specialist about it has I hate having my feel touched! In-growing toenails, general weird stuff and couldn't care a hoot what my feet look like as long as their clean and tidy and the nails are cut!

I've had all kinds of nasty remarks tossed at me over the years, professionally and personally by those who have no life and no intelligence. I'm female, aged 60 and 6'2 and slim but well built and when I was 15 I was 5'10 and skinny and I've always been plain, never pretty or beautiful, one of the male ''teachers'' at school said ''you'll never get a bloke with your looks''. I snapped back that I wouldn't want one, I'd never lower myself to date/marry a bloke!'' The expression on his face, which was spotty and full of blackheads, was hilarious! I never did marry/date and never had kids, all by choice!

My father always and repeatedly told me I was neither useful nor ornamental. It still hurts 50 years later.

I have altered the saying Sticks and Stones etc
My saying is
Sticks and stones may break your bones, they will mend!
Names hurt for ever!

With me it’s my weight. My maiden name was Ray and a boy at school shouted ‘fat Ray gets in the way’ he also called me Belle Tent (again went with my name) I lost all my chubbiness as a child but never forgot this and always felt fat - even as a size 10. (I feel fat now, but that’s because I am 🤣)

I found the insults/criticisms that children inflict on each other when at school less of an issue than what teachers and family members said because they were adults.

They still have the power to hurt (if we allow) and occasionally when unbidden one of these instances will pop up in my thoughts and make me so angry even things said decades ago by people who are no longer living.

I think this must be a universal trait in humans but it serves no useful purpose to dwell on these negative experiences but I try now wherever possible to give “as good as I get there and then”and I don’t let it fester these days but only if it is something that is very important to me, instead of storing up resentment that eats up all the joyfulness from within.
“I am here for a good time, not a long time” is my philosophy.

I think that people don't realise the incredible damage that they do .
Their comments can really haunt you .
My mother was hypercritical and I think prepared me to accept the non stop criticism when I received on a daily basis from the only man that I've ever loved .
I'm constantly reminded of them .
Yesterday I enjoyed an old black and white film and recalled that it was yet
another thing which infuriated him .
I was so intimidated by him that I began to watch them if alone and would switch off if I heard his key in the lock .

Esmay yes this is the damage that happens when no one dare challenge a parent.
I suppose if you happened to be an only child it has all the more impact. Children can’t be expected to “logic” things out and will just accept their home experience as normal.

It becomes imbedded at a deep level, even when you endeavour to live an absolute diametrically opposite life.

Just imagine if the situation were reversed and on hearing your key in the door “he” switched off eg football (insert appropriate here) 😊

Blossoming

He had an ugly mind. Feet are for carrying us about, they don’t need to be pretty.

Couldn't have put it better.......

30+ years ago, we were sitting in choir practice when a fellow soprano turned apropos of nothing much and said to me "haven't you got thick wrists"? Looked at them, couldn't see much wrong, but this has stayed since that time. Also hurtful.

Specky four eyes for me also.

Patch over one eye, the round blue clinic glasses.

Red hair so obviously Ginger nut/oh has your mum left you out in the rain and gone rusty!

My Mum once told me that a boyfriend had told her that she did not have a pretty face but that she had a kind heart. She said she would have preferred it if he’d said she had a pretty face but a heart of stone. (We are so vain when we are young.)

It is typical of men that they think they have the right to comment on our appearance. God forbid they do the same. Decades later nothing has changed. I don't want to know what a random man thinks of my appearance. I just say "well your not too perfect either mate"

I used to help at an after school club. One day I offered to play uno with two girls probably about 9 or 10.One of them said ‘ugly people aren’t allowed to play’. I’ve never forgotten it as I ve never had any confidence about my appearance.

I had 2 brothers and a sister. My mother had a friend in and I was asked to make tea for them. I delivered the tea and as I left the room my mother said to her friend 'DB1 is the brains, DS is the beauty and DB2 was the baby'. There was no mention of, we really didn't get on, and I was 14 at the time and 70 now. I never held it against my siblings but I never forgot it.

My thin legs were the bane of my life, now I realise they are
great pins! I’m only 78!

So much older now, unkind remarks just pass me by. As a teenager I endured such comments, and went through life feeling fat and ugly. Looking at old photos I realise I was quite pretty - which probably prompted the nasty remarks. My mantra now is 'Other people's opinion of you is none of your business'. The most liberating thought to have - wish I had known it sooner.

I tend to think the best way to deal with disparaging comments about one's appearance are to mentally reel off to oneself silently all the things that are wrong with their appearance.

I've never forgotten the (female) supervisor that tried to make me (literally) look worse. That was at the time I had my "best figure ever" (36-26-36) and she tried to stop me wearing my most flattering clothes (ie tight jeans) and she would not have liked to know that I was totalling up everything about her appearance and didn't find one single point in it that was attractive. I was quite surprised at the list I had in my head by the end of it and thinking "How can someone possibly literally not have one single attractive feature? Usually people have got something - nice features or nice hair or good skin - but she's trying to pull my appearance down when there is absolutely nothing good at all in hers. Huh???!"

Betcha he had at least one thing about his appearance that you could have commented back about......(terrible skin or lank hair or something). Very few people have everything right about their appearance.....there's something there in everyone's case...and manners dictate that one says nothing at all about someone's appearance unless you've got something good to say.

As a 6 year I was taken out of my class to learn to play the violin, because I had the longest arms in the class apparently! A dinner lady congratulated my friend for passing the 11+ and said her parents must be very proud of her, it drove me on to succeed and I was the one who gained a degree and a 39 year teaching career. I was always mindful of comments made to pupils because of my experience.

I have what I call unique feet…..my last 2 toes on both feet are back to front and I am proud of them!
I wear flip flops a lot of the time and if anyone makes comments I’ll just ignore them.

I was a chiropodist for years. I can promise you I have seen worse. Boys of that age can be so hurtful…but all in all who looks closely at you feet.

Have you thought it may have been the sandals not your dear feet he thought were ugly and obviously he was a fool anyway ! ❤️

I don't give a fig if someone says anything about my feet, arms, hair etc. I have very bent toes dur to arthritis but wear sandals a lot (spend a lot of time in warm place). I always paint my toe nails and don't care. You can get some nice sandals (I go to pavers) that don't show too much of your toes/whole foot and they are really comfortable. Like me you are i your 60s and your feet have carried you all that time. So sod the nasty man all those years ago just imagine him with a small bent p£@!s disappointing many a young lady laugh and go get yourself some sandals and enjoy the freedom for your toes 😉

Dr Scholl's were not the prettiest of shoes, were they? My hubby has long thin toes and he does not like my more stubby ones. (Not sure what the toes of the Duchess of York are like, but it is, I think, much a matter of taste.

Nobody is really looking except, clearly, stupid teens who want to big themselves up.

I would get the bunion seen to though. Also I really love having a chiropody visit