Hurtful comment, never forgotten

Better to have ugly feet than an ugly mind which can give so much hurt!
Lots of us were born with flat feet. Mine were so bad, I was in plaster from my toes to my hips. My parents could hear me clicking my legs together in my cot. When the casts were removed, and I was old enough, I also had to try to pick up pencils with my feet. Nothing worked. My mother had ingrowing toenails and had them removed (big toes). Her bulging, really ugly toes never stopped her from wearing sandals. She was just glad to have kept her big toes 😊

When I was about 12 someone said that half my face was forehead. Ever since then I have been quite self-conscious about it and wore bangs for the longest time. Even now when I pull all my hair back, and I think I look good, I won't wear it that way in public.

Shinimae
Your feet look perfectly fine to me. I like to wear bright red nail polish on my particularly peculiar feet and it makes me feel glamorous and a bit decadent! My feet are size 4.5 in length but a size 6 in width and my toes have been straightened but never reach the end of sandals and don’t bend! But they’ve carried me around for 80+ years with only an occasional mishap so I am quite fond of them!

First music lesson at grammar school......I was thrown out because I was singing 'The Troutlet Song' with a loud, husky voice, as the pinnacle of desire for me was to sing like Lulu. My parents and brothers howled like wolves if I sang at home, and these comments made me afraid to sing until I went to college when a friend persuaded me to sing at folk club with her a couple of times. After college, I'd sing with the children I taught, but outside the classroom, i kept my voice to myself. Then I offered to help stack chairs at a local Am Dram group, was dragged into the chorus for a musical they were putting on and was eventually given the lead roles as Anna in 'The King and I' and Julie Jordan in 'Carousel'. Long Covid and age has stopped all that, but it shows that unthinking and cruel words in childhood can have long lasting effects.

When my husband and I got engaged an aunt told me if I married him I would never have anything. At every family get together she would make some disparaging remark about him which we chose to ignore.

Had my revenge when we were at another family get together, we had recently moved and this aunt asked when we were going to invite her to our house. My reply? Which one we own 3! (we would buy run down properties, renovate them and then rent them out)

A woman I know said 'Are your w...es as small as your brains?' to a couple of men when they made unkind comments to her. That made them go quiet!

My awful father kept telling me that I had big ears. I always hid them with my hair after that.

When I was very young I used to go to mass with a friend who went to the church school. I didn’t! I went to a school nearer home as I was told I was too ill to travel that far!! Not so sure about that! Anyway one day I was sitting with my friend and others from the school at mass when a nun shouted at me and pulled me out of my seat saying you shouldn’t be sitting here and put me at the back of the church on my own.
Then as a young girl about 13 I was out with an aunt. I said it would be nice to go into somewhere nice for tea. A dreamer that was me! We were in London. She told me that people like me don’t go into posh places! So since those two incidences I’ve always thought I don’t belong! I’m 75 now! Never leaves you!

Words hurt I'm like you can't let go of the negative and never remember the positive. Plus I play things over and over in my mind it's horrible . That young man was rude to you. Try and remember like I do I've made it this far and that's good considering all the rotten people out there I've had to deal with.

I was told I had beautiful feet when I was young and they were, now due to edema the left one is swollen but I do wear sandals forget what was said and wear your sandals. I've also got Vitiligo which is a real social killer but I don't care anymore.

A friend of mine had dyslexia at school, which back in those days was not even known about. Her father always told her that she was stupid, and would never amount to anything. However I and other friends of hers have assured her that she is not stupid and have encouraged her to read the books which we have enjoyed, which she has no problem with. She is a very talented artist and needlewoman and a really lovely woman. If only her father was still around to see how beautifully his "stupid" daughter has turned out.

I think it was quite normal to have insults hurled at you back in the day

I was at a private school and had to cope with no end of insults from other children, who, luckily for them, didn't have to wear a straw boater.

My grandma regularly told me to go boil my head (I loved her more than anyone)

My sister and I never had a nice word to say to each other. Still don't really

When my father met when of my first boyfriends he asked him if he was stood in a hole . He was on the short side.

And a guy in a bar told me I looked like Celine Dion, which was a bit of a shocker.

I have very broad fat and flat feet plus bunions, but until today it has never occurred to me that my feet are ugly. Actually, I suppose they are BUT all I care about is finding footwear that fits and is comfortable!! AS for the schoolboy - he was probably at that age when he was rather awkward and didn't know how to make conversation.
Have you tried DB Wider Fit shoes? In this weather I'm wearing their flat mules with a patterned top. Even though I'm only just over 5 feet tall I don't think anyone would think my feet were ugly. And anyway I wouldn't care if they did!!!

During covid a friend told me I'd cope better with lockdown because I'm so insular . Never forgotten it , I remember her words every time I see her .

Some of these posts are so sad. I was very lucky and cant remember any unpleasant things said to me. But I can remember saying something very unpleasant to a younger cousin.
I am ashamed.

The only hurtful comment I remember was directed at a drawing I was doing, not me directly. I was about six and had spent ages drawing what I thought was a pretty girl, in what I considered a beautiful dress with frills down to the floor. My grandmother looked at it and said “What an ugly girl”. I was so hurt and I have never forgotten it.

Shinamae - and others who've been hurt by cruel words - I feel so sad reading it and yes, quite angry on your behalf. I don't know if you can swear here but what a little t***er! Please imagine him now as a wrinkled old geezer, toothless and potbellied.
My oldest brother once stopped me from entering "most attractive pet with most attractive owner" at a county fair. He said my sister would win it but I didn't stand a chance. She was upset about that which was sweet of her. He grew into a very cruel man by the way.

I have the ugliest foot on the planet! My right foot is hideous (left foot normal, not pretty but more or less normal), I have a mahoosive bunion on my big toe and it’s trying its best to overpower the toe next door. I wear sandals all the time in the summer, if anyone doesn’t like the look of it then it’s just too bad. Buy some pretty sandals and wear them with pride! Your feet are probably just the same as everyone else’s anyway.

Well, I am quite delighted that this thread has been resurrected. I had even forgotten I’d started it. 😭😂
However, there is a bit of sadness because a lot of names that were (particularly back in 21 )we no longer see now for whatever reason and that’s quite sad…😕😕

I moved to a new area when I was eleven and a girl a year older lived next door. She took me around the neighbourhood (very nice of her) and we bumped into some boys she knew. When she told them my name one of them said “I didn’t realise she was a girl, I thought she was a boy.” I was absolutely mortified and started wearing my mum’s mascara. For the next forty five years I never left the house without some form of makeup. Then during COVID when I could wear a mask I didn’t bother, and now I only wear it a couple of times a week.

Many years ago sitting in my best friend’s garden she commented I had fat knees was very self conscious for a long while. A friend who met a few years later once asked me why I was still friends with her as she was so bitchy , I’d obviously grown accustomed to her jibes. He thought the reason she picked on me was because she was jealous as most people took to me more than they did her.

When I was 13 a young lad that I quite fancied called out loudly " oh here comes sparrow legs!"
Since then I have never worn shorts, always wore short skirts with high boots and that looked good. But I hate exposing my legs. I am 73 now

Shinamae - your feet have carried you for many years so nourish them instead of being ashamed. Feet and especially the nails, need to see sunlight and feel the air so find yourself a good podiatrist and keep the skin nourished and the nails in good shape. You might even feel like painting your nails although your podiatrist will probably advise against that but you can buy nail varnish which allows the nails to breathe (this is halal nail vanish and a company called Nailberry sells it I think). Buy some sandals with some arch support - try company called FitFlop - they have a 'wobbleboard' technology that does offer some support for the arch. Good luck - don't let that comment define you - the guy is probably bald, fat and ugly now.

He probably meant the scholl sandals!! They made everyone’s feet look awful … still do along with crocs!!! I have feet like hobbits!! But always wear pretty shoes!!

For me one of the decided advantages of being elderly, or old, is that I no longer worry about what I used to perceive as my physical imperfections.

I make sure I am clean, dressed as I find suitable and I wear the shoes or sandals I want to. Make-up or not, as I please.

It is such a relief no longer to look in the mirror and see my too big lower lip and wish it was thinner, to look at my feet and no longer worry that the little toes are squint and my big toes longer than the second and third ones, but just be pleased that they still do their job of carrying me around.

Try if you who have suffered from unkind personal remarks in the past can't look past them and be glad that whatever it is you feel is ugly still works .