Weddings where children are not invited

When we got married we decided no kids because one lot on my OH's side were so badly behaved. Those were the only parents who insisted on bringing their kids, and yes they played up.

My stepdaughter had a big fancy wedding and insisted on no children. As most of her cousins already had them, most took offence and refused to attend. Now that she has two girls of her own, she really regrets that she did this.

I think we have to realise that whilst weddings in our childhood and when most of us married, were family occasions where children were naturally included, things have changed.

Very many adults have no experience with children until and unless they have their own. For these couples it isn't really a natural thought to include children in a formal celebration.

Then too, the couple may not want children themselves, and that being so probably don't think of including them.

Weddings just now are big affairs, apeing royal weddings or Hollywood celebrity style dos.

Whatever we may feel about this, it is up to the couple inviting the guests to decide the guest list.

Children don't necessarily want to go to big family "do's" whether they know the couple or not. They have to be quiet during the ceremony, and would much prefer to be out playing.

I’m very proud to recall that at my wedding reception in a very stiff Pall Mall “gentleman’s club” one of our friends blithely breastfed her baby on a sofa. Nobody batted an eyelid

My son an daughter in law are getting married ( finally after two COVID cancellations) .
They have invited close families children ( 4 are bridesmaids and 1 groomsman) but not friends children. For a sit down reception for 100 guests to include everyone’s children would either mean you have to cut down on adult numbers or increase by up to a third. I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask adults without their children.

Sorry, its up to the couple it is their wedding.Ones l have attended the children just skid across the dance floor nearly upending adults who are brave enough to get up and dance.
Plus children get bored rigid by the service, cry and generally cause mayhem!

To be honest I can’t stand children running around at weddings or parties. When I got married over 40 years ago I wouldn’t have children then and I had a 5 year old sister (who was bridesmaid but went to a neighbour for the evening). I didn’t want children running about on the dance floor being overly tired and hot annoying people and ruining the day so I sympathise with the bride and groom and if I was to have a wedding in this day and age I still wouldn’t want them there. Plus the expense of feeding and entertaining them is astronomical these days. There is nothing worse than going to a wedding or party where the kids have taken over the dance floor or tired and irritable.

We were invited to a wedding almost 40 years ago, but it was a child free wedding, there were many children in family which brought them to the decision. As much as I wanted to attend we had to decline, our daughter was only 2 months old, I was breastfeeding and my friend lived over 200 miles away so would have meant an overnight stay. At the end of the day it is couples decision and although I love to see children at weddings we have respect their decisions and reasons behind them

Never would enter my head not to have children at my wedding and wondering if these couples would change their minds if they have children later. I have been to many weddings and never seen any problems from having little ones there. Maybe because I am old most people knew how their children should behave.

I think geekess’s wedding and nana roses sound brilliant and how I remember family weddings. Just hire a big church hall a band a buffet and escape early. cheap and very cheerful.
I was not fond of the idea of a wedding having been a bridesmaid three times what a bore and expensive to boot! so mine was very small lunch affair.
I think people’s priorities do get a bit skewed, when my children were young and not invited I’d take that as a jolly good excuse not to go. Phew.

Been to several "no children weddings and thought they were wonderful. No screaming during the ceremony, no running about screaming waiting on the meal and no very tired and grumpy children with parents who just think they are there to have a good and don't entertain or control their children. All 3 of my AC had weddings with no children. The cost nowadays is horrendous so don't blame bride and groom for making the choice on that basis alone

geekesse

When my son married a couple of years ago, we hired a nanny to mind the children in a different room, with lots of activities and toys. The breastfeeding mum could pop in there to feed and the children joined everyone else for the meal (kids options were offered with the menus). It was a very successful compromise.

We did this too and I think it’s a good option. However, it’s up to the couple.

When I was a child back in the 50s, I and my two siblings never went to weddings. Only one of my aunt and uncles to my 3 cousins my aunt always said she had no one to look after them
My sister who was quite a bit older then me used to look after us.
Years later we were asked to a family engagement I was married and our dd was 6 months old. My parents looked after her but my mother-in-law wasn’t very happy about it. Tough.

I can’t imagine anything worse than a wedding full of children, sorry. I found them tedious when I was a child, so the feeling is probably mutual.

I would not have wanted to take my children if I wanted to enjoy myself properly. Id not want children at mine. Where have gone to a wedding with little children, they run around, need constant distraction as watching their parents eat and talk to other adults is boring for them.

I'm unsure whether this is about what other people should or should not do, or about you not sleeping well when your GC's stop over?

I always said if my children weren't invited then I wouldn't attend either. Evening do wouldn't bother me.

Many years ago my brother's bride stipulated no children. Our half sister had two children (husband and I didn't have any at the time) whom he had always been very generous to. They were about 8 and 10 at the time of the wedding.
Their father took great offence and stated his family would not attend. They have not spoken to my brother or I ever since.
I would not have been offended if my children were not invited to a wedding.

A Wedding Reception is basically a party with alcohol, food and dancing. For anybody getting their knickers in a knot because they can't take their children along might look at whether it is actually a suitable place for their offspring. The ceremony is terribly tedious for younger children and so they often get fractious and loud so maybe it isn't the right place for them either. In an ideal world, it would be nice if you could have your entire family and friends on both sides but that isn't always possible so you have to make uncomfortable choices. Excluding the members who won't appreciate the ambience seems perfectly acceptable to me. That said, I had children at my wedding without a second thought but it wouldn't have bothered me if anybody had said no children to me.
We are just planning to have an evening bash to celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary and the question of children has arisen. Do the kids care about our marriage longevity? Not a jot but we will consider the implications of whether their parents can attend because we are usually the babysitters!

Yes you should allow children but not in the church. It would be alright if the parents took out the screaming baby during the church service but they never do and babies can ruin a wedding. Put them in another room and get a nanny for them.

My DD is going to her friend's wedding next week and its No Children allowed.
Don't understand why they don't get a wedding nanny in as my friend used to do this. I'm sure guests would chip in towards paying a nanny rather than paying a baby sitter or not attending.

I've never heard the concept of a wedding nanny until now.
I cant say I understand it.

It could be your new job MissA ?

Basically you hire a nanny to entertain the children after the meal is finished. This is usually in a separate room. My friend was a registered nanny who provided toys, books, etc for the children until an agreed time to limit boredom and children charging about causing mayhem. Children used to really love her as it was a special time for them. The nanny can also assist at the actual wedding if that's what the bride and groom choose