Weddings where children are not invited

I made my wedding a childfree affair after going to a wedding which was completely monopolised by rowdy excitable children. My guests took it too far and they assumed it excluded adult offspring - anyway my wedding was a lovely family affair, with aunts and uncles I hadn't seen for a while. There were 2 children, my bridesmaids who were my sister and niece. My 2 year old niece went round the guests telling them Uncles car is in daddy's garage!! So of course we found the car decorated with toilet rolls and tin cans!! That was over 50 years ago!!

My niece got married a couple of weeks ago. It was one of the nicest weddings I’ve been to.

The reception was held in a marquee in a field up the road from the church and where some people camped in tents the night before. All their friends children were there. The groom had arranged games like, hit the rat, connect 4, and croquet for the children and it worked very well. Everyone was happy and we had a lovely day. Long drive home next day.

The wedding had to be postponed from last year because of Covit so they had plenty of time to plan it all.

My son and daughter in law had to have a no children policy at their wedding apart from her niece and nephew who were a page boy and bridesmaid but I have to say they were heartbroken to have to do it .
They were both well into their 30s and lots of friends and cousins had 2 or more children each . When they did a headcount there would have been as many child guests of various ages as there were adults so they had to take that decision as it would just have become a childs party .
I think the majority understand and are happy to find a sitter and enjoy a child free day .
A lot of wedding venues these days just arent that child friendly either .

Alegrias1 Totally agree - it was our wedding day, for us not for the guests. We had one 5 year old there (my husband's nephew who was being raised by his parents) but that was all. It was a small registry office affair followed by a sit down meal for 40 family and friends. The childfree issue did not really come up as we were young (I was only 19) and none of our friends had children. However, if I was arranging a wedding today it would most certainly be childfree. I do not particularly like childen - we decided before we married not to have children, hands down best decision we ever made. Not everyone thinks its lovely to have children running round (not to mention the high pitched shrieking) at their wedding reception. Nothing to do with being entitled - just personal choice.

At my 1st wedding about 15 years ago I had a ‘no children’ policy. We hired a country estate for the weekend for us and the 30 guests and the reason I chose to have no children there was that in the evening, when adults are together, children get tired and ratty and need attention and want to go to bed, then the parent has to take them up and stay with them and therefore miss out on the evening entertainment. I just wanted all guests to completely relax and enjoy being catered for for the weekend -child free.

Yes Algerias well said.
It is a solemn occasion and sad some only marry for financial stability.
Invite children or not but matrimony is, or ought to be a serious union till death.

Neither of my daughters wanted children at their weddings. It was their day and their decision which I still stand by.
As a result of this, my brother didn’t speak to me for 2 years following the first wedding, as he wasn’t prepared to leave his 10 year old with anyone.
Needless to say, he wasn’t invited to the the second one and quite frankly I was released!

I agree that the cost and the possibility of badly behaved offspring are key factors in the decision. It's the bride and groom's day so what they want if paramount. If invitees don't like it, they don't have to go!

When DD got married they only had a handful of children of close friends present, not everyone brought their offspring!

Relieved I mean!

A wedding is a historic landmark event for both families with the photos to be looked at over and over again. Not for nothing did there used to be Births, Deaths and Marriages columns in newspapers. That children who are the future of families should not figure in these events reduces them to not much more than a cocktail party if anyone has those any more. Aunt will not be able to say to nephew, Here we are at your wedding, I remember how you cried at mine. That way the whole family is bound together by shared memories.

Weddings are about the couples special day and what they want. My daughter is getting married in September and her dad is upset as she is not inviting her cousins, she never sees or has nothing in common with. She wants her friends there. As she is paying its her choice and I've told my husband to get over it

That children who are the future of families should not figure in these events reduces them to not much more than a cocktail party if anyone has those any more.

You seem to be mistaking a solemn event for 2 people who are being joined together for life, for a nice knees up.

I look at my wedding photos and remember the people who were there but are no longer with us.

Invite who you like to a wedding, but don't criticise those of us who think its no place for a child. But then I'm child free in life in general, so I'm used to people thinking its OK to criticise me when it comes to children.

I think its the bride and groom's choice and no one else's

Of course I agree that it is the couples' choice. But in my culture, we include family of all ages, abilities, strange views and oddities - because they are family. Some might choose not to attend for various reasons
Personally, I don't want to live in a sanitised 'bubble' where everything is organised to agree with me and my world view.
But I have no great opinion about how others organise their lives and celebrations.

Instead of thinking "what a shame the children aren't invited" think that for some parents the idea of being "child free" is a relief...Why does the "no children at wedding" always have to be so negative??

Looking at my wedding photos, ours was an almost no children wedding because apart from my much younger sister and brother who were bridesmaid and page (he didn’t want to be left out), there weren’t any children to ask.
My DD asked what I thought because now it would be really expensive. If her daughter wanted to invite aunts and uncles and cousins and their families (we are quite close), there would be over a dozen children as well as the adults and then there’s the bride and groom’s friends and their children.
Financially that’s appalling, but who do you leave out?

A wedding should be a celebration with the whole family including children, children are part of the family !!

Personally, I don't want to live in a sanitised 'bubble' where everything is organised to agree with me and my world view.

From no children at my wedding to anti-social narcissist in one fell swoop

It's odd how other people's children are very badly behaved, and if they were yours they'd be quite different!! Until, if course, they are yours and you realise what a silly you've been to judge like that. Having said that perhaps it does depend a little bit what kind of occasion it is and the age of the children. My first wedding was in a church, a very long service, very formal and my sister's new baby screamed relentlessly through the whole service until my BIL took her out, and then she could be heard outside in the graveyard still yelling to wake the dead. My poor sis, who was my matron of honour, was mortified because her breasts started leaking through her lovely silk dress! The marriage must have been cursed by this because it didn't last. My second marriage was a much jollier occasion, by then my sis had three children, all our friends had several and the reception - in my darling mother's garden - was like a riot in a creche! Fabulous!

I think it is very much an individual bride's choice about including/excluding children. Sometimes it is because of the worry about young children in church being bored and also at a reception being tired/bored. Perhaps they couple come from a very large family of young children and it would offend some if theirs were not invited or the opposite a very small family where there are few young children so feel it's easier not to invite them. Bottom line it is the bride's choice.

I agree totally with the no children at weddings idea.
Firstly the cost, children's menu/meals usually are around half the cost of the adult meal at a wedding, and very often end up being something like sausage and chips or chicken dippers, which 9/10 is left uneaten.

Babies who are unsettled, cry out and ruin the vows, and ceremony, there's always a parent rocking a fractious child.

Toddlers are out of their comfort zone and get bored very very quickly.

Parents become frazzled, and really don't enjoy the day and can't enjoy it as a couple, because one of them is always on child watch!

I think parents should be allowed the odd child-free day, and more importantly the bride and groom!

Bottom line it is the bride's choice. Surely the couples make the choice together? It isn't just the bride's day with the groom making up the numbers. And don't forget there are same sex marriages too, with some there is no bride!

When my children were small, I looked on an invitation to a wedding with no children as a bit of a blessing& happily left them behind with my parents for the day. I certainly would not have disappeared for a whole weekend away though without them. My own sister’s first wedding was a nightmare with other relatives’ small children. Parents refusing to discipline the youngsters and permitting them to fool around on the dance floor whilst the newlyweds were attempting to have their special first dance. Absolutely disrespectful in my opinion. Young children can get extremely overtired and I think should not be crying and lying under tables at an evening party just because the parents have the fear of missing out. Take the tots home, get a babysitter then rejoin the party later. Children under a certain age have no place at an evening reception. The expense of inviting children to a day reception can be crippling too, because more often than not they waste the food and the bride& groom or parents are having to fork out a lot of money for this food to be wasted. I sat next to small children at a family wedding in Greece and the one child didn’t touch a single thing on her plate, the other younger boy was permitted to rip up the baskets of bread nearby that were placed for all to eat. His mother just laughed and pretended to scold him but nobody wanted to touch delicious looking bread that had been fiddled with by a four year old who’s hands had been goodness only knows where. It’s a tough call but if I had my choice I would not invite small children to a wedding, unless I knew that the parents could keep control on their behaviour.

If there were no such things as children there would be no need for weddings. They originated as a public announcement that the couple are together and any children they have will be their joint responsibility. Children is what it's all.about, though I am sure many will.disagree. Weddings have strayed from.their origins these days.

If there were no such things as children there would be no need for weddings.

Yes, I disagree. Quite strongly.

I have friends who married in their sixties. I have (many) married friends who like me are child-free by choice. I have friends who are married and who cannot have biological children.

I do wonder if people who say things like "weddings are all about children" realise just how offensive they are being to married people who don't have children?