Do you think 4 children is a ‘big family?’

I think for today's parents, 4 is considered a big family. Parenting has changed; they are now more involved in school and extracurricular activities than our parents were, plus more mothers work outside of the house now. You would have to buy a bus, since children need to stay in cars-seats until they reach 85 lbs (here in Canada); the average car can fit only 2 car seats.

I think you’re right, DinahMo about the poor mothers. My grandfather’s mother died at less than 50, after eight children and when her youngest was just 5yo. She also looked after parents on one side. My GF said she was worked to death.

I have 5, it didn`t seem like a big family at the time, each new one just fitted in. Daughter 3 likes to say she`s the middle one, 3rd from top and 3rd from bottom.

We have 4 children. I was an only child and didn’t want to have that again. If my children fall out ( pretty rare these days ) I remind them what a privilege it is to have siblings. My mum was one of 10 and all those children had either 1,2 or no kids- some sort of reaction? We fostered 2 children for a while. I just used to love having a house full of children and their friends.

My Mum was one of 6 surviving; Dad also one of 6-his mother died in childbirth when he was 12; he never spoke about it but I know they were all in poverty. I’m one of 2; we had a brother who died aged 13 months at the beginning of WW2-very sad. DH was eldest of 6-not a happy family at all even now in adulthood. Don’t know why they had 6-think his Mum liked to stay at home but there was no affection. We have 2 DD; would have liked more but you have to be realistic I think; bigger house, car etc-fortunately with birth control we had the choice. DD1 has 4-they started young, had 2 close together then 10 years later, she says like the Queen, had another batch of 2! They are a very happy family and can easily afford them. DD2 married much later and has 2.

I don’t think four was seen as particularly big in the 50s and 60s - dh and I were both one of four. But having said that, most of my schoolfriends were from families of 2 or 3 children.

I think 4 is a large family my mum was one of 13, but there was no contraception in those days. She always said "make 2 do" I was an only child as my parents couldn't afford any more. We had 2 children and they have 2 children each too. The world is vastly overpopulated as it is

Being a mum of only one, I think anything over 2 is a large family these days.
My mother was one of 8, but of course there was no birth control in the early 1900s.

We have 6 children between us and we are a large family; I love it. My husband is an only child so he has spent most of his adult life being shell shocked. . Our children mainly have one or two children and don't intend to have any more. Only one of them wants another child but I think that they suffered a stillbirth of a daughter and that my DIL is trying in some way to fill that hole.

We have 4 children, which my mother often felt the need to comment on. I was one of 3 children. My husband was one of 5 children and his father was one of 14. So to his side of the family, 4 was considering a conservative number.

Yes, 4 is plenty, more than 4 a large family!!

My Dh has 12 children,when we got together i bought him a telly but the bugger keeps turning it off.
I was one of 5 and yes i think 4 is a large family.

over population is the biggest threat to the world’s resources, but will never be a popular message.
Agreed. Climate change is well underway, one of the reasons being too many people using ever dwindling resources.
For the sake of the planet, it's best not to contribute to more humans needing their share of food, water, electricity and goods which are shipped halfway across the world.
I don't mean to upset those who come from large families themselves, but for young people today, it's something to bear in mind when planning a family.

DH has a GD with six children - eldest is 8 and the youngest a couple of months. Before any of these little beauties she had a couple of miscarriages. They are lovely affectionate and caring children and she has really flourished as a mother.

4 is quite large for a British family but small for families in Africa and India, where resources may be limited to start with.

My mum had 4 of us, also her first baby died after 36 hrs and she had a miscarriage after me, I'm the youngest, so there could of been 6 of us. The house was crazy mad with 4 fighting and argumentative girls in it. My dad had 5 siblings, my mum 7, but how things change as I never had any children and neither did my sister.

Yes I do.

I’m one of four so when a pregnant mum of three told me she was expecting I said oh 4 children what a lovely round number.

She said yes but it’s going to make 6 - nature gave her triplets! (She made a great job of it too).

Yes, certainly these days. I was one of four, but it felt like being one of two as there was 8 years between the first two, and my brother and I (definite mistakes!)

I had 3 DD’s (one more than we planned!) and I know that was my absolute limit?.
I am not a natural mother and have had to work really hard to be half decent at the job! I was an only child and so were both my parents, so I had very little knowledge of children and was a tiny grown up as a child very sensible and bookish!
I didn't feel like 3 was a large family, although perhaps on the far end of normal, and nobody ever seemed to think 3 was a lot!
I had one friend who had 6 when mine were little, and then when they were in their late teens went on to produce 3 more! A second family really.
A girl from my office has now got 6 she had 4 when she started work with us and then after a divorce remarried to a man who had no children but was desperate for some of his own hence the last two.
I have 6 grandchildren, 2 from DD1, DD2 has had one and probably wont have more and DD3 has 3 and thats her limit.

I have four children (now grown up with families of their own). It's great. My grandchildren all see each other regularly. I provide childcare and we spend as much time together as possible.

None of my children want more than two children of their own. Nowadays, it seems that financially, emotionally and socially, two is a good number for them. It's a very personal choice. I wanted four children and was lucky enough to have them. Each to their own.

Times have changed so much since I first became a mum.

I would have loved 4 but stopped at 3. Glad I did because between the three of them there's not much affection and sometimes it's nasty. One feels the others don't care and one feels I have a favourite. Neither of that is true. People have their own lives to lead. Have as many children as you can afford that's my motto.

I went to school with a girl who was one of 13 children. Her mother died of an uncontrollable heamorrage having her 13th baby. 4 Childer is not a big family in my humble opinion.

I think the world is already overpopulated so 4 is too many. For those who say it’s ok if you can afford it, does that mean affording private school/health etc? Otherwise the rest of us pay for them. Both dh and myself are from larger families and suffered poverty in our childhood hence our decision to have only two.

I think that 4 is a big family. My mum was one of 11 and my paternal grandparents both one of 13 children but that was then. There's nothing disparaging about viewing 4 as a big family, just think it is.