Do you think 4 children is a ‘big family?’

On the world population review site four looks to be about median.

I think I lean, with the OP, to 6+ as being 'big' in today's world.

A wee note: those figures given in the link above are of "fertility rate" which I understand as being how many babies a woman has, not necessarily how many survive to produce babies themselves.

My DF was 1 of 8, though I think that Grandma had at least 2 other children who died soon after birth. He didn't want to repeat the experience of a big family, hence I am 1 of 2.

DH is the eldest of 7, and his dad was the eldest of 11. Only 1 of DH's siblings has 4 kids, the rest have 1 or 2. DH only wanted 2, which is what we have got. I sometimes think that another would have been nice but my 2nd pregnancy was very difficult, and I was warned not to have any more. Also we didn't have much money and we didn't want the kids to be short of anything because the budget was having to be stretched.

My eldest DD has 4 kids. My other DD has 3 and sometimes talks about having another. DH could not understand why they weren't satisfied with 2 each but, of course, he loves all our DGC now that they are here.

I think people should have as many children as they want but not expect the state to provide. There are many hard working, tax paying people who would love to have more children but make the decision not to because they can' afford them.

can't

To answer the poster's question: Yes I do think that in the UK, four children is a big family.

Yes. The world is over populated, and we are running out of resources. We took the conscious decision to only have 1 child.
Large families in previous times were I think an insurance against the inevitable deaths which resulted from poor social conditions, nutrition, health facilities etc.
My DH is one of 5 children and his father openly said he had had a large family so that he would have enough to take care of him in his old age, I guess a sentiment valid in previous times.

I have 2 DC, but their stepmum has 7 and another friend has 9.
In this day & age, I think I'm in the minority at only having 2!!

Yes, pretty big. At least for nowadays.

Short answer Yes it is these days

I would have loved to have had four children but sadly finances did not permit so I just have three. As someone here says, family units are perceived as four and have been for some time so it made it a little awkward (and expensive!) sometimes. My daughter has four, two from her previous partner, her partner has one of his own (who lives with them) and one together. As ‘blended’ families become very much more of the norm these days, I can only look on with wonder (and a little envy tbh) at how large families get!

Nowadays, yes, unless you can be totally independent not using any public resources for two. The world, the UK, especially England is massively overpopulated already. I had determined if I had children it would be two. However second pregnancy produced twins. All those years ago I felt guilty. Dd decided not to have children, DS x 2 only have 1 each and not intending to have any more, all due to overpopulation. People should look at demands on education, health services,housing, water supply, when considering size of family.

I’m youngest of 4….. my mother was youngest of 3…my father was youngest of 6 ( 5 older sisters)…… my husband eldest of 3…. My grandmother “ somewhere in the middle of 13”. I had 2 ….my daughter has 2.
My sister just ten years older than me decided to have 4. We all think 4 would be the limit to ‘ordinary’ numbers of children.

I'd say that it all depends on your finances AND your parenting capabilities!

If you've got enough money to be able to bring them up within your - and their - expectations, that's brilliant!

If you, and your husband, are good parents - ie working from the same song-sheet as regards 'standards and expectations' - then it's nobody else's business!

In these overpopulated times four is a big family. The environmentalists say we should now only replace ourselves, so a couple can have two children. If they split up and remarry and the new partner has no children the new couple can have one child, otherwise no more.
It does sound very Chairman Mao but perhaps that’s what the world has come to.
I’m the eldest of eight by the way!

Yes in this day and age 4 children is a big family. We are over-populated with the world's resources becoming scarcer and scarcer. I think there should be no more than 3 kids to a family, and I fully support this governments cap on child benefit for more than 2 kids. Think of the environment.

No I don't think 4 children is a big family. But these days more than 6 probably is.

We had three children, and each of them has 3 children. But one son & DIL are expecting their 4th child in a few months. They have had similar amazed, even horrified, reactions from friends and other parents.

I remember several large families in our neighbourhood when I was a child, one family had 14 children. Their homes were often chaotic but they all seemed as happy as Larry. Being an 'only child' in our household I envied them.

I'm with you Kandinsky I think Anything over 6 is a big family
I was an only child and hated it. I once wrote a list of how
many children I could have (1 every 9 months from 18 - 40)
and named them all. I was about 8. Ended up not being able to have any but that is how life goes.

I'm somewhat shocked, how many of you still think it's ok to have several children.
It's not just the climate and resources, but what kind of world will these children grow up in?
So many refugees fleeing intolerable conditions, crowding into the spaces available. But sadly, their arrival, in what they hope are safe spaces, brings about ever more conflict and hatred.
Even in 1972, when we got married, I thought the world was not a good place for children, with the cold war conflict going on.
20 years later, when I accidentally got pregnant, things seemed a bit better, but now?
And, as far too few of you said, the lungs of our planet are systematically destroyed to make room for 'economic growth'
No wonder more and more of us are struggling to breathe healthy air and suffering from lung diseases.
It just Can't go on.

It wasn't but it is now.
I was one of 4, my husband 1 of 5.
Unusually, my parents only had 1 sibling between them.
Now we're doing our bit for 'climate change' by only having 1 child between us.
Makes me laugh when I see people complaining that people aren't doing enough about 'climate change' but have umpteen kids that will go on to use more resources than our little family ever will, despite having (horror of horrors) a diesel powered vehicle.

Growing up as a child, my next door neighbours were a family of ten children and two parents.

Not unusual in those days, but it certainly is now.

There is a lovely young man who has bought and is renovating the garage attached to my home. I asked him if he had any brothers and sisters and he said "I'm the youngest of 16 -1, 13 and 2(marriages by his dad)"

My ghast was flabbered.

I can't help but think of the Radford family. They certainly didn't stop at 4 they just kept going. Not sure how many children they have now.

I think 4 is a big family. DH & I both had 1 sister & we ourselves have 2 children & definitely didn't want more for many reasons. Several friends have 4, one lot have 5 and another, 6 but I could never have coped with more than 2.

i am the eldest of four children but never felt like that as my next sister was born 1 year and 11months after me (she got cross if you said 2 years) and my brother born when I was ten and my youngest sister was born when I was 20 and had left home so it felt much more that there were the two of us and then the baby brother. My sister has one daughter , I have one adopted son and my youngest sister has no children and my brother has two children so a total mix of situations. As a teacher and a lecturer I have found many varieties of family background but often found ,as I was, that the eldest was made responsible for the behaviour and faults of the younger siblings so that you got told off for your own misdemeanours , and also for what they did ; yet you were not allowed to smack or tell them off. If you told a parent you were considered a tell tale so no chance at all to be right! I am glad I have my sisters and brother as they can be trusted to tell me the truth if I ask for it and have been pleased to know they are around when I have been having a tough time.

DH and I have 4 adult children. That seemed perfect to us so we stopped at 4 . However , we had 3 in 5 years and the 4th 5years later. 1 boy , 3 girls .
I always feel there is a little boy missing out in that 5 year gap. He's even got a name .. Gabriel .
Now they are married there are 3 more adults, 4 DG at the moment and 3 dogs.
It's quite a party now when we get together.