House proud people

Well said Sara

I wonder why it appears to be OK to make disparaging comments about those of us who like a clean and tidy house, but wrong to say anything disparaging about those who don't

It's not worth worrying about. This is GransNet.

- if you clean your house you must be dull and boring

- if you sew and do crafts you must be dull and boring

- if you don't join in the political threads you must be dull and boring and uncaring

I've seen all those comments on different threads over the years. All those things apply to me. I must be exceedingly boring. Do I care? Not a bit.

I like things fairly hygienic but don’t measure my worth by the cleanliness or tidiness of my home…

Amberone and the converse in each case. It depends on the posts - and threads you read.

Nothing boring about your post Amberone in fact you summarised the situation very well .

Amberone
I’m sat in my tidy house, the only thing out of place is my crochet,
God, I must be dull!

Why? DGC and DS are visiting at the moment, my usually tidy house looks bomb struck. Have I gone from dull to exciting and will I go back to dull tomorrow when they go home and I tidy up?

Moderation in all things ? I don’t think it is dull to have a clean and tidy house, but I admit I do think it is dull to have a six page thread about dishcloths. It’s definitely not dull to do crafts, I wish I had some skill! Equally if your house is a little untidy it doesn’t make you a bad person, but a total cluttered mess with animal hair and sticky carpets would makes me uncomfortable.

Don’t let others make you feel guilty about housework. It’s your home and if they don’t like it there, they needn’t bother visiting. I don’t mind housework and as long as my kitchen and bathroom are clean I’m content.

MissAdventure

Whatever makes people happy in their own home is fine by me.
Tidy, untidy, clean or grubby.

That sums up my view on the subject too.

I worry though, when I see some of the posts re doing extreme housework or gardening or crafting. I don’t really do any of these. I’m starting to wonder what I actually do do all day.

I confess to struggling a bit (actually a lot) at the moment, because my daughter and her three children are living with us.
They are all untidy, disorganised, messy, I really don’t think it’s doing my blood pressure any good.
Do I think it’s making me more interesting and exciting? No I do not, it’s making me grumpy and exhausted!

Sympathies, Sara1954. I’m not a very tidy person and I’m ‘relaxed’ about housework, to put it politely, but I really don’t know how I’d cope with that. We’ve recently had the 2 elder Gdcs (5 and 6) to stay for 2 nights each time, and the house looks like a bomb site by the time we take them home.

On the first occasion dh was away when I took them home (a 1 1/2 hour drive each way) - I came back around 10 pm, couldn’t face the bomb site and just went knackered to bed.

Thankyou Witzend
We saw the writing on the wall for some time, and wondered if we would be able to cope with them all moving in, I said no, I would rather help pay the rent somewhere, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t say no.
So eighteen months on, here they are, I am constantly fighting a losing battle with tidiness, but these odd weekends when they are with their dad are bliss.

I am a very boring person . I do like a clean and tidy house at all times. However we look after our GC twice a week and the house is like a bomb had hit it when they go back to their own home. I try my best to keep things tidy as they play but why bother. They are happy, it's only for a short time and I know once they've gone I can tidy up until my hearts content. We are all different.

Many years ago when life was pretty stressful, with a new full-time job quite a distance away, two small children and husband's full-time job 80 miles away, the GP sent round the mental health nurse (GP said "don't panic, you're not going mad, it's just she can give you a bit more time").
After various questions as to how we were coping the nurse asked the question I was somewhat dreading "And what is your attitude to housework?" - I took a dep breath and said that providing we were all clean and fed, got clean and dry (but not necessarily ironed) clothes and the kitchen and bathroom were reasonably clean, anything else I managed to do was a bonus. She smiled broadly and said that that was exactly right - so that's been my attitude ever since...

Sara1954

Thankyou Witzend
We saw the writing on the wall for some time, and wondered if we would be able to cope with them all moving in, I said no, I would rather help pay the rent somewhere, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t say no.
So eighteen months on, here they are, I am constantly fighting a losing battle with tidiness, but these odd weekends when they are with their dad are bliss.

My daughter and grandson live with me Sara. While the house is a bombsite at times, I love being able to spend valuable time with my GS while he is small and hope that can continue for 2 or 3 days a week when they eventually move out.

My neighbour (with the shiny, spotless home) says that she finds housework 'relaxing' (what??) so I've said she's free to tackle mine, any time, if she needs to relax more.

Sometimes, when visitors appear, or the sun shines on windows or floors, I'm shamed into doing a little.

Gagajo
I know what you mean, this is second time around for my eldest granddaughter, and we have a very close relationship.
I really missed her when they left.
But three is another story, I love them all, and we have a lot of pleasure from them, but they are all really messy, sometimes I think I can’t keep nagging at them all the time, but for me to function, I’ve got to be in a clean and tidy environment.
My daughter is the worst culprit, I think she has just reverted back to being a teenager!

Yup!! My experience too with a messy daughter. Yes, I'm sure 3 children is a whole different ball game. I'm not sure how old you are, but for me, hopefully I have another 15 years or so, and will later look back on this time as a pleasure.

Life is short, and there are a million more interesting things to do than housework - as I live alone I only apply basic hygiene to the kitchen and bathroom, rarely hoover and am good at ignoring piles of clothes etc and just going out - I find "houseproud" women are usually massive bores who are missing the bigger picture - the only time I put in a few hours is if there is any danger of a visitor whose opinion I care about ?

My elder granddaughter was very upset, she overheard her
paternal grandmother say X doesn’t keep her house very tidy.

My granddaughter has for some time been working 7.00am
to 7.00pm 6 days a week, property lawyer .

I am cross stitching her a sampler

‘A Tidy House is a sign of an Empty Life’

I don’t think it’s a matter of caring what other people think, because I don’t.
It’s a personal thing, I can’t bear piles of stuff everywhere, I can’t relax if things are not put away, if I sit down in the evening, I have to be in a neat, clean environment.
It’s just me, but I don’t go into other peoples and pass judgment, up to all of us how we want to live.

Other people’s homes

Oh I can’t be cleaning every day how much dirt does one person make !
I wash and put away the dishes a couple of times a day I always make my bed what else is there to do ?
I always thought Quentin Crisp s remarks were a gem
I have a good friend nine years older than me who cleans and cleans every day ( she does do other things as well ) and has a spotless perfect bungalow for just herself, but how much of that is necessary it all seems a total waste of time and so soul destroying to me to have to redo the same thing every day

Jaibee007

Life is short, and there are a million more interesting things to do than housework - as I live alone I only apply basic hygiene to the kitchen and bathroom, rarely hoover and am good at ignoring piles of clothes etc and just going out - I find "houseproud" women are usually massive bores who are missing the bigger picture - the only time I put in a few hours is if there is any danger of a visitor whose opinion I care about ?

I don’t think that’s entirely fair. I know interesting women who have messy homes and interesting women who have tidy homes.

What is boring is banging on about cleaning.