AIBU?

It's up to the person whose been bereaved how they choose to express their loss, so yes Wake I do think you're being unreasonable.

YABVU Wake, yes

My own grandmother, firmly told anyone who called her 'Nanny' that she was not an old goat and refused to be called one. grandma she was to her grandchildren, and a much beloved one.

All of us have words that grate on our ears and use words that grate on other people's ears. Just because we love a particular term, should not stop others who hate it having a good grumble now and again. As I have said before . if this discussion upsets you, do not read it.

People will use whatever expressions they choose. I don't like
“ passed”, I prefer to say someone died. My mum used to say someone had “ gone” ( gone where? Gone to heaven) .
Salvation Army people say” promoted to glory”.
On my parents’ gravestone is written “Forever with the Lord”.

There is no point taking offence, but ambiguity should be avoided.

There isn't any "should" about it.
It cuts both ways.
If I find it ridiculous, and feel like people are choosing to see it like some bizarre game of bereavement top trumps, then other people are free not read what I write.

Words are emotive, though, aren't they and we all have different understandings.

To me 'he is dead ' is harsh and sounds like a sudden death; 'he has died.' suggests a natural progression to the end to a life.
'Passed away', 'passed',' passed over' all suggest (to me) ghostly beings passing by on their way to ........where(?) like the spirits in Scrooge, and 'gone before', seen on old gravestones when we went to tend family graves I found alarming as a child because it seemed to indicate we were expected to follow shortly.

It is all a matter of interpretation.

Shelflife

People use words that are appropriate for them . Whatever phrase is used the listener knows what is meant - so does it really matter!? I think the only exception may be when informing children of a death. Children will take the words literally, so passed over , gone for a very long sleep or gone to heaven is not direct enough. However for an adult to say " my son / daughter has died' may just be too harsh and impossible to say. Each to their own , people use the words that are easiest for them.
BlueBelle, I agree with you about " we are pregnant" it irritates me each time I hear it !

When my father died the grandchildren were very young. As a Catholic family we told them he was in Heaven with God. That is what we believe and is direct and honest as far as we are concerned

When one of my granddaughters was quite young a lady asked her what her Daddy did, oh he is dead she replied. The poor lady didn't know where to put herself. I felt quite sorry for her.

Doesn’t bother me how death of a dear one is described. However what’s happened to “fat” rather than obese or overweight? Who are they trying to kid?