My son and his wife met when he was 16 and now aged 42 and 22 years of marriage and 4 children later, they have split up. He says it's something they both want and so far it seems amicable. Only a month later he's met someone new. I've met her by chance on two occasions and she seems lovely, but she's only 24 -just 3 years older than his eldest son. I'm in a quandry here, as she seems like someone I could really get along with, but I can see trouble ahead when his children find out. On the one hand she seems good for him and I'm happy that he's happy, On the other hand I think she's far too young and it's far too soon to be embarking on a new relationship and then there's the children to consider. It's no wonder I don't sleep at night!
I am sorry you are losing sleep, never helps, I agree with everyone so far, you can only watch and wait this is really very early days.
They may have just split up but external relationships may have been going on for some time. The 22 year old may not be the first. I can see your quandry but there is nothing you can do other than be there if your GC need supporting.
Be happy for them while it's all good and just be there for him if needed
How many times on here have people said that age is just a number. It applies to younger people too, wish them well and be pleased your son is happy.
In my lifetime I have known of a women at 40 who lost her husband to cancer - a year later she married a boy of 19 and lived happily ever after.
Who knows how human beings work.
You met her by chance so he probably wasn't going to introduce her to anyone yet but got rumbled! Don't give it too much thought, they're probably just having a bit of fun.
It’s difficult, isn’t it, not to get involved but it’s better in the long term, IMO.
It means you can be there for your children and grandchildren whenever they need some support. We can help if asked but not try to solve problems unless asked.
It’s a waiting game and who knows what the future holds for any of us. ?
There is nothing you can do and really, it isn’t your business. No doubt your son’s kids will have their views and feelings, but they are for themselves and your son to deal with.
Just stay neutral. Nowt to do with you. It might upset your son if you say something.
Don't do anything and try not to worry, if you can. Age doesn't really make a difference in relationships if the two people involved are really suited. There is a big age difference between myself and my husband and I remember someone once saying to me 'Enjoy it while it lasts'. We are still together thirty years later. If your son is happy, let him be and try to be happy for him yourself. It may work out, it may not, but that's just life. It happens in all relationships, with all ages.
he is 42 and she is 24, something wrong there, even with the adage men 'choose women half their age plus 7' some age gaps work ,usually with rich men at the hem. Some age gap relationships work, but most don't. he has already had a marriage that failed? what is wrong with women his own age ,and he has met her after a month?!
Your son is 42 Helenlouise quite able to make his own decisions and mistakes. You need to step back from this and just be glad he is happy.
I actually worked with a girl and she and her now husband were very similar to your son and his gf ppl also said same about them they just had 10th year anniversary They since had 2 children also your son as just come out of a long term relationship he’s enjoying his life again I would say nothing and just sit back and let him work through this himself
Try not to worry too much at this stage. It sounds like a rebound relationship and it may just fizzle out after a short time. Some big age gap relationships do work though and the positive thing is she sounds a nice girl.
As she is so much younger they will likely have quite different attitudes and interests and a different group of friends etc. She might eventually want a family of her own which he may or may not want and that could be the thing that makes or breaks it. Maybe he is waiting to see how things pan out before telling his children, he’d feel pretty daft if he sat down and told them all then a couple of weeks later they split up.
Come on, he's 42 that dangerous age when he feels his life is slipping into middle age and he doesn't want to so she's nearly 20 years younger than him and he feels great. He can impress her, she'll laugh at his jokes, massage his ego, be the eye candy then he'll realise that he is 42 and on his own, then he will need you.
Learn by my mistake. Don't say anything. Keep your opinions to yourself, it's not your quandery. If she seems nice, that's all you need to know. Just go with the flow, life's short, and it could be a lot lot worse. She could have a drug/drink/gambling problem, be in a mountain of debt, a whole host of other things. Take a deep breath and be grateful.
He’s obviously having a middle age crisis, this new relationship won’t last. What ever you do don’t comment on your son’s relationship, as if you say anything especially if you disagree you’ll lose your son just stay neutral. No doubt his kids will be upset but they may not even mind especially if they see their Dad happy and the girlfriend is good fun.
While you are worrying, your son is probably having a whale of a time with his new friend!
The "children" are adults, who will also date who they want, when they want, so there really isn't anything to worry about.
I'm a firm believer in allowing children over 18 years to get on with their lives. He's over 40 so leave him to make his own mistakes. His children again will make up their own minds no matter what. If you like why shouldn't you be friendly. Embrace life as it may not last long. Xxxx
In a quandary to do what exactly? And if you say anything what exactly would you say? I’ve been in similar situations but not with family and trust me the best advise I can give you is say nothing. His children will make there own decisions on however they see right, they will no doubt take sides, just be there for them and your son when the fall out happens.
Age is just a number my ex boyfriend was a yr older than my mum the reason we split up was nothing to do with age .
He was super tidy and a neat freak.
I would put my cup down and before I knew it he had in in the wash .
My shoes went straight into cupboard .
I am on the other end of spectrum.
Pots get done when I run out of clean ones even though I have dishwasher .
He was best man at my wedding 43yrs ago and we still see each other .
Leave your son and his girlfriend to do what makes them happy
He seems to have jumped into a relationship very quick, it's only been a month. Nothing wrong with the age difference only I expect your son is having a mid-life crisis as he is reaching 42.
this young woman is probably making him feel great at only half his age. Is it going to last who knows? he is an adult leave him to it, he will not thank-you if you interfere.
My step daughter was 19 when she met her 40 year old partner, who had not long split from his wife. She's now 39 and they've been married over 2 years. Some things are just meant to be.
The young woman might want a family with him. That will bring extra problems with his existing family. Or it might bring them all together.
Just stand by and see what happens. You can’t do anything else.
She's 30, not 39. Can't find the edit button.
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