How to get visitors to leave?

Blue sky no no it wasn't your DH.
We don't have dog that needs to be walked but the cats were getting pretty frisky as they usually have a bed time dole out of treats and these were obviously delayed.

I haven’t had that trouble for ages but I used to say that I had to go to bed as I had a rotten headache coming on. Trouble was, it was usually true. My mam used to outright ask people to go as she was going to get ready for bed.

During the second world war my mother outstayed her welcome in a neighbour's house one evening.

The matter was resolved when one of the sons of the house, a young man in his late teens like my mother, announced:

"You're sitting on the chair I put my clothes on when I go to bed."

Fuel was in such short supply in Copenhagen then, that families only heated their living-room, undressed there and left their clothes on a chair before racing into their freezing bedrooms.

As a catch phrase the saying survived in my childhood home for years.

I myself, if people do not take the hint and it is getting late, state frankly that it is past my bedtime and that I will be pleased to see them again soon.

During the day, I would say something like, "I've enjoyed this chat, but it is playing havoc with my to-do list for today, so can we continue it later this week, please?"

If people cannot take a hint, I see no harm in being frank.

The old staple was ‘woukd you like a cup of Tea before you go”.
We didn’t use it when parents of dds friend popped in fir a morning cuppa. Rather wish we had.
They stayed fir lunch and were still there at dinner. They are nice people but a stay of 7 hours, for a morning cuppa, was just too too much.

"I'm going to throw you out as I am going to bed."

"Who is coming with me for Skelter's late night wee wee in the rain?"

"You can bed down if you like then we can all have porridge together when we wake up."

silverlining48

The old staple was ‘woukd you like a cup of Tea before you go”.
We didn’t use it when parents of dds friend popped in fir a morning cuppa. Rather wish we had.
They stayed fir lunch and were still there at dinner. They are nice people but a stay of 7 hours, for a morning cuppa, was just too too much.

A cup of tea before you go would not work on a visitor of mine.

She holds on to it till it’s stone cold, then sips it slowly for an hour.

Some people (well one person) really take root once they get in my living room. I tend to keep this one in the kitchen standing up and near the back door

3dognight

My OH had a friend and their partner with whom we double dated occasionally before we were married. After we married and set up home, they took to often dropping unannounced and stayed for ages - seemingly impervious to any inconvenience. On occasion they even interrupting full swing housework and just plonked themselves down expecting tea and conversation. It got that I used to dread seeing the car pull up. We tried many forms of hint dropping but eventually we had to come straight out and gently told them we’d appreciate it if they called first, as it wasn’t always convenient. They were actually fine with it in the end.

I was much younger, but a friend used to go upstairs, put his pyjamas on, and come down again, expecting them to take the hint.

Some people are extraordinarily thick skinned, though. In which case you have to say, ‘Sorry, but it’s past our bedtime.’ Or if it’s earlier in the day, ‘Sorry, but I’ve got stuff to do, we’ll have to say goodbye now.’

A group of us (women) take it in turns to host a meeting at each other's houses once a month for a cuppa and a chat. We have one dear friend who is really more or less house bound but we try to bring her although it really takes 2 of us to help her in. The problem is that when it's time to go she obviously doesn't want to leave and despite hints and standing up and even fetching her coat she manages to start a long story or a conversation at that point. It's very difficult to get annoyed because we love her dearly but it's become a bit of a burden to take your turn for bringing her and taking her home. The latest plan is for her to get a taxi home because then she will have to be ready when it comes. We are working on this! I hope this doesn't sound too unfeeling but most of us have our own mobility problems and/or don't have a car boot big enough for her walker.

Jaxjacky

We have said ‘got to go to bed now, we’re up early tomorrow for xxx’

At first glance I thought that you had written "we're up early tomorrow for sex".

My parents had underfloor heating which wasn't on in the bedroom so when he wanted people to go he used to go and get his pyjamas and put them on the living room floor to warm!

My father used to embarrass my mother when he considered an evening had come to an end by standing up and saying “Well this has been most enjoyable, but you must excuse me, I have an early start tomorrow”.

“Hands up for Horlicks!”

“We’re expecting a phone/zoom call from our son/daughter at … sorry, We’d best get ready. for this exciting event”

I do remember when I was young ,and living in a flat after college, getting up and putting on my pyjamas. They got the message. Never could stay up too late.

My husband used to literally just ‘ disappear’ - no announcement, no indication he was off to bed. Sometimes guests would ask where he’d gone and I’d say ‘to bed probably’. They’d then sometimes go home, but sometimes need the hint again which was me collecting glasses etc and announcing ‘a quick tidy up’ before bedtime for me too.

Last time a friend showed no signs of leaving I told her I had to ring my son as he likes to know I have locked up for the night. A white lie but it worked.

I'm finding this now with one of my sons and his wife. They often drop in at the weekend and though it's nice to see them they relax on the sofa and after a couple of hours show no intention of leaving.
Yesterday she was unwell and needed a hot water bottle and rug.
He also felt poorly and searched the medecine cabinet for tablets.

I suggested it was getting dark and they left but now I'm left worrying how they will cope with work this week.

I remember our last teacher at primary school suggesting we stay in touch. I turned up on a Sunday with my best friend just after starting secondary school and the poor man was enjoying the Sunday papers and a pipe. We shyly sat there tongue tied for what seemed like an eternity, giving monosyllabic answers to his kind questions.
At last his wife came in and said “I’ve run a hot bath for you dear” and off we went. He’d had a word about it with her I think.
If it’s during the daytime, I just get up, move towards the door and say “Well I must get on” no explanation but when I taught privately at home I could say I expected a pupil.
I’m not great at making excuses but a dear Irish friend can cover any eventuality to her advantage. I envy her.

Aveline

Our hearts sank when he happily announced that he's a night time person and loves late nights!
I like all your good suggestions. I'll bear them in mind -but we're never asking him back!

You missed your chance there, Aveline. That was your cue to say 'Oh, we're not, we're going to bed in a minute'.

Put their glasses in the dishwasher and turn out the lights.

Just get the hose pipe out open the front door first though!

lol TheOtherCatsMother thought I was being a bit harsh! but turning out the lights lol lol

I find your post a little confusing. Asking someone to your house could mean to spend the evening. You must know the person quite well to invite them to your home so why not say quite openly that's us for the night if you really need bye byes

Go to the loo and phone son or daughter etc and get them to text say they need to FaceTime you in ten minutes about something important.
This doesn’t work well if you live two doors down from AC of course…..
Or if you haven’t got a son or daughter