How to get visitors to leave?

My mum often recalls a story of a visit with her parents to my dads parents house many years ago. They had overstayed their welcome and it was getting late, my grandad got up out of his chair and said ‘well it’s been a pleasure but I’m in my house & ready for my bed and it’s time you were in yours’ Not very subtle but apparently it did the trick.

MerylStreep

I’ve embarrassed my OH for years with this problem.
I just stand up and say ^ok peeps, time to go because I want to go to bed^

I say something similar.
No embarrassment here!
Most people would rather know.

In our first house one couple, who had no phone, used to turn up unannounced despite coming quite a distance.
We liked them alright but when I was going into labour with DS#2 and saw them approaching I groaned!
DH, ever hospitable, invited them for tea and we made a big spag bol. I was amazed that they didn't go home but then labour began in earnest. Baby#1 was asleep and it began to snow. DH called the midwife who told DH to drive me to the hospital. We told the couple that they had to babysit while he drove me and in fact they stayed the night.
Set them to work is my advice!
It works every time.

My uncle, who was quite ugly in a loveable way, would say "Right, I need to get my beauty sleep and you need yours too. "

If it was the daytime he would just say he had things to do and usher them to the door.

Humduh our visitor was asked to pop in for a drink at 6. That's never implied an evening's entertainment to other nieghbours we've asked in the past. People usually stay for an hour or an hour and a half then go home for dinner.

Ok. I though it started laterr and see it in a similar light as saying come for a drink in the pub which can be an evening.......At least now you know who you do not want to invite.

I will start collecting glasses and start tidying up in the kitchen as a last resort for lagging guests. I haven't had to do it in ages, but DH had a few single friends that didn't have a wife to give them 'the look'.

I have also had to speak with DH about being such a good host. He is sometimes too quick to refill a glass, resulting in some over-imbibing by guests. How many times have I heard 'just one more beer..." and inwardly groaned that the guests really don't need it and I want to go to bed!

I met a woman recently who has a lodger.
She told me they worked together and he had split up with his partner so was invited to stay for a few weeks until he had found a place. That was 11 years ago!

We were asked for dinner at a neighbour's once and soon after the meal the man said goodnight and that he had an early start.
He went away and his wife apologised profusely but there was no way we wanted to stay after that!
We had definitely overstayed our welcome.

We were invited to a party at the neighbours' house; there were quite a few of us there and quite early on the host said "Goodnight, I'm going to bed now" leaving his poor wife embarrassed.

I have no hesitation in telling someone that I need to do something if they’ve stayed too long. Similarly, if a telephone conversation has gone on a bit too long I say something like, ‘I’ll let you get on.’ That has become a family thing!

Doesnt happen because I rarely open the dor to unexpected visitors. If someone outstays their welcome I tell them in a half joking tone "Well Im going to throw you out now or start charging for my time!"

We have some friends that never leave so I invited them for lunch instead of dinner, thinking they would be gone by 4.30 at the latest. Guess what? They were still there at 7.30 pm and we were getting hungry so in the end we shared fish and chips from the local chip shop. Never asked them again, now we meet at a restaurant if we get together with them.

Dean Martin used to ring the police and get them to come round and end his parties.
I expect he paid for their Christmas party??

I've been in the opposite place, wanting to leave but feeling the level of hospitality was almost too great to make it possible to do so without giving offense. I actually think they wanted me to leave but were trying not to be rude and show it. So confusing when people won't be honest.

Yawn a few times, say it was a lovely evening and thank you so much for coming over, but you had an early start/ will have an early start tomorrow.

You all make it sound as though you are always polite and know exactly how long it’s appropriate to stay. I think it’s very hard to know and very embarrassing to realise we’ve overstayed our welcome.
What are the rules ???

If you have family abroad with a good time difference, say you need to call them before 11pm ...

Turn the heating off!! Like the old days with coal fires, just let it burn out - no one wants to hang about in a freezing house!!

Stand up and say, "What a lovely evening but must bring it to a close, we have a busy day tomorrow"! Look at my dh and hope he picks up the message. Sometimes if I'm lucky and he has dropped off and "friends" creep out.
Or, "Must get the pots washed, off to an early start tomorrow"! Occasionally get offers of help which is rare but then you know they are in for the night!

I had a home birth for my second son and got no sleep at all the night he was born. The next evening a "friend" (at that time childless) turned up and just stayed and stayed, despite the fact that I was almost out cold. My mother was there, sitting on the sofa and glowering at her, dropping hints that we should all be in bed but nothing worked. Eventually she left after 12am. I don't think my mother ever forgave her.
At one time she developed the habit of dropping in around supper time on Fridays, and always ended up eating with us despite the fact that, with two small children, any quiet family time was like gold dust.
She came to our 40th (restaurant) anniversary lunch and drank so much of the free booze at lunchtime that several friends asked me if she was an alcoholic. When we all went back to our home after the meal she proceeded to unwrap and open several bottles of champagne that we had received as gifts and drink a glass from all of them, despite the fact that there were already open bottles on the table.
She is still probably the most insensitive person I know. As she is one of my oldest friends I have not absolutely cut her off, but she doesn't know where I live any longer so cannot just call in when passing.
Interestingly her mother was an absolute cow and she always criticises her - she is now a mirror image of her in many respects.

I like that Meryl Streep! It’s very clear and straightforward.

If any off our neighbours outstayed a welcome my dad used to put on his tape recording off Kenneth McKellar….he wasn’t Scottish , no more we’re the neighbours. It seemed to do the trick!!

My grandad used to overstay his welcome no matter what cues you gave him. I've cooked dinners with him standing in the kitchen getting in the way. No matter what we did, he was just oblivious. In the end it was easier to let him move in!!! He was obviously very lonely and would spin out his time for as long as he could.
I know that I can be that guest too so I do say to people that I am not very good at reading cues and just to chuck me out when they've had enough. My husband is quite blunt when he thinks it is time for us to leave so that helps. I am actually quite mortified that I can't read the social signals and I am more than happy to be told. I'd sooner that than be a thorn in somebody's side.
My Mum is the same and takes great offence if you chuck her out. Her partner will keep saying it is time for us to go but she just tells him to go without her! She has mobility issues, can't get home without him and is completely dependant on him but nothing will move her. We've got to the stage that we are less irritated but mildly amused at her tenacity and the excuses she makes.
I think it might be genetic!!!

If they haven't taken the hint (or even several) I think you have to be quite honest and say that it's been lovely seeing him/her but it is way past your bedtime and you have to be up in the morning as you have xxxx to do.
If that doesn't work, start switching off the lamps and lights and ask them to make sure they pull the door properly closed on their way out!