Laughing till we cry

English Lit. class in secondary school. Analysing Macbeth or Hamlet - something tragic. I and the three friends around me disinterested and gossiping. Our teacher standing at the front of the class became exasperated with us and shouted "Be quieTTT!" With that explosive "T" the whole set of his top dentures shot out of his mouth and arched upwards. He caught them neatly as they came down again and popped them back quickly but we four had seen the whole thing while the rest of the class had their heads into their books and missed the experience. They couldn't understand why we four were purple in the face, with shaking shoulders and tears pouring down our cheeks - trying to hold in the laughter. I still recall the pain!

Sawsage2

A newspaper typist answering a phone call from a man for the Personal column typed 'man looking for a woman for head-on-a-stick pleasure '. Still makes me laugh!

Sorry - quote didn't appear!
That took me a minute but hilarious when the penny dropped!

The Irish bat expert...

youtu.be/5ewxcCYXDzM

When was at school one of my classmates had false teeth as a result of being kicked in the face by her horse. We had an argument one day about politics and as she shouted at me she spat her teeth out and they skidded along the floor. She picked them up, put them back in and stormed off! Me and my friends were doubled up laughing.

We were buying an overcoat for Son's birthday. DH tried it on and the hem was at ankle length, the sleeves were many inches over his hands and the neckline at waist level.
I said "Yes that's perfect, absolutely spot on". The Salesman's face was something to behold, especially when we bought it. He didn't know DH is 5ft 8ins and Son 6ft 2ins so the oversize was just right. When we left the shop and realised the Sales chap's disbelief, we both laughed hysterical tears.

My DH and I went to visit his elderly GM. She had the TV on and just as we were leaving there was a news item about a certain film star who was pregnant.
I said ' I wonder who the father is?
' Some big nob' granny replied. Good job we were leaving as we were both ready to burst holding in the laughter.

Listening to all the difficult names being read out at my husband’s first graduation. We were 22. My sister in law and I were doubled over, trying to compose ourselves, but being unable to. My parents in law were cross with us, but laughing at the same time. We just couldn’t help it.??

It’s such a shame we didn’t laugh more like that with my husband’s family. Most of the time it was just problems, until we eventually estranged.

Working late one evening and intermittently calling the house to check whether my younger son was home (and whether my older son was in) and let him know I wouldn't be much longer. Also trying to phone a new member of staff to check she still intended to pop in the next morning to meet people.
Yes - I mixed them up and when the new staff member's son ( who sounded uncannily like my son) answered, I said "Hello,pet, are you on your own?"
To make matters worse, I still thought it was my son when I got the typical teenage "huh?" followed by "Who is this?" ( my younger son often joked about on the phone). I then replied with the first daft name I could think of and said " Mr McGoo". Only then did I think that something wasn't right. Having apologised and terminated the call, I couldn't speak for laughing with tears running down my face when a colleague came in and asked if I was ok. I also spent the next six months apologising to the new staff member for traumatising her teenage son!

Hattiehelga

We were buying an overcoat for Son's birthday. DH tried it on and the hem was at ankle length, the sleeves were many inches over his hands and the neckline at waist level.
I said "Yes that's perfect, absolutely spot on". The Salesman's face was something to behold, especially when we bought it. He didn't know DH is 5ft 8ins and Son 6ft 2ins so the oversize was just right. When we left the shop and realised the Sales chap's disbelief, we both laughed hysterical tears.

We had something similar to this. Our oldest son had been at university, but needed to live back home to continue studying. That meant he and younger brother had to share a room. We went to look for bunk beds.

We took my younger son with us to size up. In one shop, as my son leaned over the top of bunk bed, we said to the salesman....” we’re looking for some bunk beds for him and his big brother”. His face was a picture.

They were both 6’ 5”!

My mum was in hospital after a full & she whispered to me( she thought she was whispering as we have been telling her for years that she was going deaf) “you see that male nurse over there, the gay one, he has checked my hearing several times today & said it is ok”. When I stopped laughing I explained that he was checking her temperature not her hearing.

I apologise in advance if this offends anyone, but we were at a family christening and were asked by the vicar to turn to the person sitting next to us and say ‘Peace be with you’. My daughter misheard and said ‘Pleased to meet you’. It was a very funny moment and one that she’s never been allowed to forget! ?

I love the image of a guy wearing a nappy from MerylStreep.
I had one guy ,who wanted to lick the loo seat after I'd made it dirty !
Through the years ,there have been incidents which still make me laugh .
My mother asked the
DIY guy and his mate if they wanted to wash their tools in the sink .
They couldn't walk down the drive .

My friend and I drank too much ,gatecrashed a wedding party and she fell in a hedge and wet herself on the way home .
The more I tried to pull her out the more I laughed .

Living abroad , a colleague forgot his identity papers so he couldn't go on day trip - I had mine so we pretended that he was my absent minded husband and he was accepted .

Later, at a conference ,when there was a lull in the conversation everyone heard him say ,Esmay do you remember the enormous fun that we had the day that we pretended that we were married ?
There was an audible hush .
And someone said in a low voice ,
I thought he was gay .

Aldine. I remember going to see Max Wall along with my husband, his sister and her husband in 1966 in Morecambe. We laughed until our sides felt like they were splitting. We were amongst a very elderly audience who, unlike us, didn’t find him funny at all. Of course this made the whole event even more hilarious. He came and chatted with us after the show. What an unforgettable night. Thank for reminding me. ?

On a hen party we were playing truth or dare.
My question was how many people I'd slept with.
I answered truefully one.
One of the hens asked me his name.
Considering I've been married over 40 years to the same man
and have 2 children plus grandchildren.
Everyone fell about laughing.

I worked in a bank. I was speaking to a customer on the phone and said thanks Edna. The young lad opposite me just said out loud ‘ my minis called Edna ‘. I had to put the phone down as I was crying with laughter.

Aldom

Who remembers the comedian Max Wall? He used to wear black tights and looked rather like Richard 111. When my friend and I were about 14 we were watching Max Wall on TV. We laughed so much that my friend wet herself, then we laughed some more!!!
I laughed till I cried when reading The Moon's a Balloon, by David Niven. We were on holiday at the time and I read the book in bed before going to sleep. I happened to be talking about how funny it was at breakfast one morning. The man at the next table agreed with me. He said he could hear me laughing from his room.

Yes I remember Max Wall, he was very funny and my Mum gave me The Moon’s A Balloon to read while I was still at school, also very funny. DH still watches some of The Two Ronnies’ sketches on You Tube and I can hear him chuckling away, The Morris Dancers sketch and the Four Candles sketch are his favourites. We both love Billy Connolly despite his constant swearing, we have watched his DVDs many times, we know what is coming but still laugh until it hurts. Dave Allen was very funny too. When our boys were teenagers we used to watch The Young Ones together, we all remember the episode where they were writing a letter to the Bank Manager to try and get a loan - they ended up with ‘Darling fascist bully boy, give us the money or else you b******d’ and the episode where they kept getting power cuts in the house - Neil the hippy was in the bath playing his guitar, the power went off and he started singing ‘Hello Darkness My Old Friend’, whenever we hear the song The Sound Of Silence we smile and know what we are thinking about. When DH and I first met we were both fans of The Goons and Monty Python and did lots of Goon voices and John Cleese's silly walks.

This is a great thread, I will definitely give Bill Bryson a try, I haven't read any of his books.

Just to lower the tone a wee bit: Some years ago I had to go for a smear test and the doctor was very posh public school. As he turned away on completion he said he hoped that it hadn't been too uncomfortable. 'Oh no, not at all' I gabbled, 'Just like a little prick'. I can still see his shoulders going with supressed laughter. Never ran out of a GP's surgery so quickly!!

MissAdventure

The Irish bat expert...

youtu.be/5ewxcCYXDzM

"Catch him Derry"..."Derry did you catch him?"..."Maureen stop looking through the door" - that did me, Maureen at the door! ????

Even tho it's hard to bear him now, there were a few funny times with my estranged husband.
One day, he, my DC & I had been out most of the day and on the way back I happened to notice his jeans were very short, around the tops of his ankle bones. I mentioned it and asked if he had them pulled up too far? He said they were at the right place but thought they'd shrunk as they were tight around the waist, too.
My 11 yo son looked at them and exclaimed, "You're wearing MY jeans!!!"
You'd think a grown man would know the difference, and to think he'd been wearing them all day I was surprised they hadn't caused an injury!
Then one day, returning from London, also DC in tow. He went to lift something onto a bus and cursed, pulled his hand away and sucked his finger. We all looked on and he said, "Ffs, I've broken a nail!" Well that has never been forgotten, and always causes a laugh!!

youtu.be/ziCHKDiCMKs

One day my sister was visiting and handed me an item which she said didn't fit her but which might suit me. I looked at it and thought it was a peasant style blouse (which is not my style at all) so I was trying very hard to say no thanks without hurting her feelings. After going on for a few minutes about how peasant blouses just weren't for me she said "You silly cow, it's a skirt" For some reason that seemed the funniest thing and we did literally laugh till we cried!

A follow up to Pen50s post, the Goes Wrong Show was on BBC1. DGS and I have them recorded and they are great fun.

suzikyoo

Just to lower the tone a wee bit: Some years ago I had to go for a smear test and the doctor was very posh public school. As he turned away on completion he said he hoped that it hadn't been too uncomfortable. 'Oh no, not at all' I gabbled, 'Just like a little prick'. I can still see his shoulders going with supressed laughter. Never ran out of a GP's surgery so quickly!!

Well that had me shaking and laughing out loud. Love it!!!

Some years ago a fellow TA and myself were making up questions as we were going along for an end of term quiz for the class.
She asked, "who stole the Queen of Heart's tarts?"
A very quiet student ventured very deadpan "Kevin"

It was one of those moments we couldn't stop laughing and crying every time we looked at one another even though it wasn't that funny!

Big Bertha,
Sprouts Mexican episode had even my very straight laced mum laughing, couldn't believe it.