Your day as a newspaper headline

Woman Galvanises Self to Stake Raspberry Canes.

Woman wrestles with jam jar lid.

Woman hangs washing outside for the first time this year

Breaking news, 60 year old woman, has shower and gets dressed. This amazing achievement was last managed on wedensday.

Elderly woman dressed in purple and red seen in public library. Do not approach.

'Woman has baby' - sensational report from the Palace.

‘Pensioner succeeds in deadly climb without safety gear’
Actually me with my arthritic hip ascending small steps to clean top of kitchen cupboards ?

OAP waits in house all day for washing machine delivery.

Old lady hears of the premature death of her DD best friend. The loving 48 yr old mother dies on operating table . ?. RIP

Woman stares aimlessly at computer screen.

Elderly woman bravely approaches glamourous sales person and buys make up. "It's taken me years to pluck up the courage" she confides to anyone willing to listen.

OAP to drive wife to the moon and back.

The museum of the moon is on show at Lincoln Cathedral and I've promised to take Beloved.

Pensioner asks young male shop assistant ' do you have fat balls?' Outside shop realised she should have added 'for the birds!'

76-year-old woman finally sells he sister's house after two years.

Woman (80) still trapped in her flat for over 2 years.

Yorkshire grandmother battles ice and freezing temperatures to maintain a healthy and safe environment for the future.

Defrosted fridges and freezer ?????

Pensioner forced to trawl charity shops to buy duvet covers for her elderly dogs duvet.

Woman (53) braves the cold (finally emerged from under the duvet)

Scottish couple lose hotel room key twice in same week. Angry scenes as husband and wife blame each other. Readers are warned that this story contains strong language which some may find offensive.

Woman watches as husband and son-in-law bravely and heroically chop up very large prickly tree felled in storm. "So glad I'm a feeble woman at times like this" she was heard to mutter as she went to put the kettle on.

Woman who failed at starting a diet yesterday and has been invited out to lunch today, tries to muster willpower to order a salad.

Little (!!!) Old Lady found in kitchen covered on gore.

She has promised to thump the person who did not replace the lid on the left over salsa.

Mine would be
50 something lady walks to town centre and has a freebie fringe cut in

Neighbours soak OAP from head to foot as they speed through deep puddle she was draining!

I have to add they didn't see me and would be horrified if they knew!

68 year old tackles overgrown border while husband offers advice. New patio is planned for tomorrow.