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Asking someone how they are

(108 Posts)
Judy54 Mon 14-Mar-22 14:20:27

How are you used to be a general greeting with most people responding I am fine and how are you? Increasingly I am finding that the other person goes into infinite detail about themselves, their family, friends and neighbours. Mostly it is all problematic stuff and I come away feeling totally drained. They are not asking for advice but just off loading. Interestingly they never ask how I am. How do you deal with people like this?

Reluctantnanna Tue 15-Mar-22 23:17:06

I always expect people to reply to "how are you" with a "fine, thanks. I don't really want to know, I'm just being polite. When I was in the depths of despair last summer having found out DD (teenager) was pregnant, this was the only response I gave as I was not able to say how I really felt.

sarahcyn Wed 16-Mar-22 00:11:19

My niece is a doctor. When newly qualified she worked in a hospice in York. She would do her rounds and crouch down (she is very tall) beside some fragile old gent to ask him how he was. Time and again she would get the reply "Never better"

sarahcyn Wed 16-Mar-22 00:12:26

@reluctantnanna is baby arrived yet?

GreenGran78 Wed 16-Mar-22 00:34:58

When I ask someone how they are, and they reply, "I'm good" I always have to stop myself from saying, "I asked about your health, not your morals." ?

GrauntyHelen Wed 16-Mar-22 02:55:03

If you don't want to know the answer don't ask the question

Shandy3 Wed 16-Mar-22 14:19:00

I don't ask how they are feeling! I just say hello and pass on!

Antonia Wed 16-Mar-22 14:46:59

I think we really do need a different greeting. When someone asks how you are, they're not actually interested in the answer.
But I greatly dislike the answer, 'I'm good.'