No name on envelope bad etiquette?

At least he addressed it! I nearly posted one with the name only yesterday….senior moment!

When my husband sends anything he always puts "to" as well as the name and address. I think that it looks childish and said what is the point as it is obvious that it is going to the person it is addressed to. He still does it though. His sister does the same so I guess it is what they were taught at school.

When sending anything by post I would have thought it the most natural thing in the world to add the name of the recipient on the address, if only because it allows the household it arrives in to know exactly who the card is for. For me it's not so much an etiquette issue; more a matter of good communication. Having said that, how would I feel about receiving a card in the post when it was clear someone hadn't bothered to address me by name? I probably wouldn't be too impressed, if I'm honest.

If it is obvious who the card is for within the household then it's not really an issue because the right person will likely receive it, but then again, suppose the postman delivered it to the wrong address? Or suppose there was an error writing the address and there was also no name on the envelope, causing the card to become lost at some point in delivery.

It seems obvious to me that a name and address on any item sent through the mail is possibly the way to go, bearing in mind how much mail tends to get lost en route.

Also, adding my name on the envelope means the person is 'handing me' the card, albeit via a postman, which I feel is a more caring way of delivering the card. It has a slightly more personal touch.

Thinking about it, if a card was sent to me that contained only the words 'from Joe/Harry/Barney' or whoever, adding no personal touches whatsoever, it tells me they are sending me a card simply because it's the 'correct' thing to do. It tells me they are sending me a card because that's just what all people do which, for me, is totally meaningless. Who came up with the idea that everyone should send always send cards to everyone, regardless? Oh, wait, it must be card shops and card manufacturers because they are making a tidy profit on every card sent.

If the card was also not addressed to me personally either, without clearly showing my name on the envelope I'm afraid I would simply cast it aside. In other words, I would give it about as much attention as the attention of the person who sent it me.

For twenty years my in laws spelled my name wrong on every card or letter. And it's a very simple 4 letter name. They never liked me very much so I wondered if it was deliberate since they'd seen it written correctly on every birthday card/Christmas card/letter we sent them. Not exactly answering the question, I know, but I thought I'd mention it. If the name was left off an envelope once I'd think it was a mistake but if they always do it, I'd find it a bit insulting and weird.

I would just be pleased that they remembered and sent a card.

Slightly off the point but connected. Is it ok, having put both the name and address on the envelope, to not put the name inside the card? I normally would, but if it was omitted would you be offended? (It did happen to me on a card I sent to D-I-L and my son seemed offended) Your opinions would be appreciated.

I wouldn't be offended. Just glad to get a card!

A kind thought to send a card.
Often, sadly now it’s just emails. If too much is made of the absence of a name, perhaps this will be the last card received.
I agree, choose our battles.

I've been reading this thread, wondering why am I reading it and why is it a cause for discussion? These things happen, my sister regularly misses things off cards and envelopes as do other relatives, but it really isn't an issue, they're being scatty and/or a bit distracted, but they've still remembered me! I once sent my son a birthday card signed of as "Love Denise Martin", it was only when he jokingly commented "how formal" that I realised I must have been in work mode when I wrote it.

Pinkym you might want to ask for your post to be deleted because you’ve put your name in it.

It wouldn't bother me if there was no name on it. I might have a bit of a laugh or be a bit mystified about why it didn't, but it's really not worth wasting energy getting upset about it. If it was for my daughter when she was young I would have made a joke about 'Grandad/ma getting scatty in his/her old age, they must have been busy'.

If someone is going to get miffed over a simple thing like what do they do when something really bad happens?

Surely there are more important things to worry about...

Theoddbird

Surely there are more important things to worry about...

Of course there are. You do realise it'spossible to worry about more than one thing at a time? And that they can vary in importance/intensity?

It doesn't exactly say you care if you can't be bothered to put a name on a Birthday card. I could accept it from the local council but a bit impersonal from a relation. I might even go as far as rudeness. Girl with no name ?????

Any letter arriving at my house without my name on it (eg addressed to The Occupier) gets binned without opening. I assume its sales, a begging letter or political.

phantom12

When my husband sends anything he always puts "to" as well as the name and address. I think that it looks childish and said what is the point as it is obvious that it is going to the person it is addressed to. He still does it though. His sister does the same so I guess it is what they were taught at school.

My OH does just the same, even write 'To' on the inside..........I think it's a family thing as his Dad and brother do the same.

ElaineI

Sounds like a mistake. Wouldn't get offended. No one is deliberately doing that to offend with the price of post now. Unless they also left off the stamp!

Sorry misread the post. Can't she message her daughter and explain? That's what I would do and ask the daughter to write the name of the child. My DDs would laugh at me if I did that.

Honestly, isn’t life too short to worry about this sort of thing? I have received unsigned cards, cards with the wrong name inside, my name spelt wrongly (it is French so they’re let off) but actually it’s not a hanging offence or even a hand-wringing offence.

I received an Easter card from my cousin my name was not on the front of envelope. Also inside she just wrote my name and nothing else there was no Happy Easter and she did not even sign it was from her. I checked the postal area from the front and know it was from her. I was not offended only glad she sent me a card. She seems a bit forgetful these days and she is not that old.

I'd just assume that the sender was on the road to Alzheimers.. and appreciate the effort they made.

Incidentally, my forty something elder daughter always just writes "Mum" on the envelope whenever she sends a a card or parcel to me! I have to assume she can't remember my name, but its quite encouraging to think that she is on the slippery slope already!

Addressing an envelope to a married woman it is correct to use her husband's initial, Her own initial is used if she is widowed or divorced.
I wish people would use this; it save confusion and avoids unfortunate enquiries about 'your husband' etc.
The same applies to either Miss or Mrs., not the dreadful Ms.

Wouldn't even have given it a second thought...Been happy to get a card..

@callestmon21. I agree , my DGD and I live in the same house and both have the same birthday . It would cause confusion here .