People who give you chapter and verse about people you don't know ow

I had friends who did this, but also kind of included their first names as if they were besties when they barely knew each other. If only they'd read my face and realise, I'm not interested at all in people I don't know!

The other thing that people do is....
you meet a couple whilst shopping or out and about.

One of them is telling you about an incident, but the other one keeps correcting them about the finer points.

' We popped to the library on Tuesday'......' no it was Wednesday because we went to the market as well, the market is on Wednesdays'...... ( does it matter which day, get on with it)

' The Grandchildren stayed on Friday night'....' no ( in a patronising tone ) it was Saturday, you are getting your days mixed up again'........implying dementia is setting in fast.
People !

I have a MeMeMe friend, very fond of her, but so wrapped up in herself. As I’m quite a lot older, I think she sees me as someone to offload to with all her problems and a good listener. However I would quite like to have a say myself! A good conversation should be like a game of tennis, two way.
I made the mistake initially of going on holiday for ten days with her and could only do what she wanted until I put my foot down.
And the many people who never ask you about yourself as you listen to them going on and on! So ignorant.
Makes the saying “The more I see of people, the more I like my dogs” understandable.

Kalu

Can’t say I have noticed this in you Marydoll as we are as bad as each other talking non stop?

My late MiL was famous for this however, it was only ever about people of ‘standing’, in her mind. I always found excuses to attend to something I must do or even, go hide in the loo for a breather.

Kalu, ?
Are you feeling any better?

“She especially loves hogging the lime light in group discussions which can be so frustrating, partly it seems as she finds it hard to hear what others are saying.“

My late MIL did this - by dominating the conversation she knew what was being said. Took us a long while to realise though!

Kate1949

I use Mrs Brown's phrase 'Thats nice'

Me too Kate 1949............and I also know what Mrs Brown means when she says it!

I have a friend who has so many cousins, she tells us about all of them, but no one has ever met them also it gets so boring, and she expects us all to listen with interest.

I’ve a friend who talks constantly and at length about many people I don’t know at all. It’s so boring. I’ve taken to butting in as otherwise I never get to talk at all. We meet just for an hour, most times that’s enough.
She doesn’t seem aware

I have a small group of friends that I go out with, Recently one of them brought a neighbour with her. I'm sure she was a very nice person, but when we stopped for lunch the whole conversation was monopolised by her life in minute detail! Most of us didn't know her or her friends and relations but we heard about them non stop till it was time to go home.

These 'boring' people are often rather lonely - look on spending your time listening to them as a kindly act. With age some of us will eventually be joining the 'boring' set,

My BFF is like this and goes on and on. Sometimes I do wonder what she tells people about me and some of what she says about others are quite personal details.
I'm cautious about what I tell her now about myself and family. She's a lovely kind person though

Kate1949 you're obviously kind and a very good listener, people like you get taken advantage of sadly.

My Mum used to do that ' I saw Mrs So and So today' I'd say 'Don't know her?' Yes you do, her son was called x and her 2 daughters your sisters age called a and b. I gave up and said I knew everyone, problem was, when I moved back to care for her for 7 years (on and off) I found out I did know them :D

BeverlyRose

It all depends on whether you care enough to be honest with her and teach her the social ropes of your group. Asking here or telling here is no good to her. You’re doing the same thing and this almost falls into the realm of gossip.

Oh don't be silly. I'm not going to start teaching a 60 +woman social roles. And starting an anonymous thread about a generic annoyance is not gossiping.

I agree 123kitty people who monopolise the conversation may well be lonely. I usually bear with them for the first couple of times after that I cut the conversation short. I do try to include others in the group who don't want to interrupt a monologue then feel like I'm leading a therapy group. I really get bored when the phone comes out and we are treated to endless pictures of grandchildren, I'm just not into unknown babies/children. Now if it's a dog that's a whole other story

I have a dear friend but she drives me mad when after phoning and giving me all her news, when we meet will repeat it. If I say ‘You’ve already told me that’, she will pause and then carry on!

I get the lowdown on the budgies and goldfish.
"Come on you fish" I said, "and they all looked at me and went..." (mimic fish faces)
"And they all swam up, because they know its dinnertime"
"I threw in 2 pinches of food, and (insert westham players name) pushed the others out the way"
"Oi! I said, and he looked at me, because he knows what I'm saying"
"Oi! Greedy guts, leave some for (insert other westham players name"
"And he looked to me as if to say "Who do you think you're talking to, so I said yeah, you know don't you?"
And he goes (open and close mouth like a fish".....

You are quite right, loneliness or not having as much to do or think about since retirement can be the reason, and I admire all of you who just nod and look interested.

I tend to say to these people that I do not know the person they are talking about, so I am afraid I cannot comment in any useful way, then change the subject.

If they don't take the hint and talk about something we both can be interested in, I tend to discontinue the acquaintanceship. It is hardly a friendship if you have nothing in common and have to listen to what amounts to gossip.

A very good topic Vintagejazz I thought it was to do with me . A good friend whom I’m on hols with at the moment carries on and on about her best friend I don’t even know ! I timed her and she talked for 1/2 an hour continuously . But not nasty talking just telling me the whole life of her best friend What is the answer ?

I do it, I know I am doing it sometimes and then stop. My mother did it constantly, it was very boring to say the least.

Now I come to.think of it I.have a friend who is the same. We trade stories, it's like knowing the other people.

A good bit better thanks Marydoll. Not driving again yet and running out of patience with it all now. ?

Unfortunately, my other half is like that.
Endless stories, usually about his family that gets repeated time after time. Every single day.

I now tell him “You have told me this before.”. But he still can’t stop himself.
I sometimes wonder if it’s the start of dementia.

Every couple of months I meet up with 3 friends I used to work with and after the first 10 minutes or so catching up there is one who then brings out her phone to show us every photograph she has taken since the last time we met. We’ve tried every trick to stop her but to no avail.

pascal30

just tell her that you don't feel included in the conversation... be very honest.

that's good idea.
generally, it's better to say how we are feeling or how something affects us, rather than criticising or complaining about another's behaviour.
it shifts the dynamic somehow.
if attacked, most people repel/defend as a reflex.
if we speak of how we feel they are more likely to ask more, maybe try to help alleviate the feeling.
if they care at all, that is.
if not, well why bother with them.
it's a lesson learnt.

Treetops05

My Mum used to do that ' I saw Mrs So and So today' I'd say 'Don't know her?' Yes you do, her son was called x and her 2 daughters your sisters age called a and b. I gave up and said I knew everyone, problem was, when I moved back to care for her for 7 years (on and off) I found out I did know them :D

My mum used to tell me things about people I was allegedly at school with. I'd tell her that they were at school with whichever sibling, but she'd insist it was me! (It wasn't btw)