The School Prom - For or Against?

Out of interest, can anyone here with a teaching background say how these things start?
Do the staff promote them? Is there a 'student committee' which opts for this specific form of celebration? (It could be something else?).
What role does the school Management Team play? How is it monitored and supervised? How visible a presence are they?
Could they say 'no'? - and how, if at all, would it damage the school's reputation as a 'misery guts'??
Who buys the drinks? Is there an 'entry fee' as well?

Bit out of touch here! Closest I have come is a video of 5 year old DGS 'graduating' from his Oz 'Kindy' en route for Big School, with mortar board, rolled up certificate, presentation ceremony, dark clothing and 'gown'.
Horrendous. Oh yes, and their personal profiles and 'achievements' displayed round the hall posters on the wall?

I’m very grateful to have had a son. The cost of hiring a dinner suit was nothing compared with what the girls’ parents must have spent.

Back in the dark ages we had a end of term disco where I was hoping to et a dance with the hot geography master - no dice got the history master - short, hairy tweed jacket and bad breath.

Mostly not called graduations in Victoria but I think some schools do. They are held by state schools as well as private schools and they are something the kids look forward to and get lots of photos of. I can’t see the harm in them, the kids seem to love them and some hire limos between friends to take them on the night. Most of them seem to do it, very few miss out.

It's my gorgeous GD's prom in July. She's really looking forward to it and I'm not going to spoil her excitement by being a grumpy old fart voicing out loud my disapproval but I really do agree that it's a stressful, expensive, over the top import.

As a single mum, it would have been a real struggle for my daughter to afford the dress if we'd not pitched in and my dear GD is very aware and very grateful, deliberately going for the cheapest option rather than the one she liked best until we told her it was fine.

I really feel for the kids who won't have the money or family support and though recycling prom dresses is a lovely idea it would make me, at that age, feel even more poverty stricken. My way out would have been to be contemptuous of the whole expensive dress thing much preferring to be cutting edge, stylish and making my own, as I did with my wedding dress, but that way of thinking just isn't prevalent any more.

Ixion I can only comment on my experience in a Scottish school. Completely organised and run by senior pupils. There was a committee headed by the captains and a depute head teacher would advise, if asked and would have an overview. Staff received a formal, often beautiful, invitation but were not involved in publicising or organising any part of the prom. The committee would ensure all those eligible to attend knew how much it would cost etc and the school office took in the money. A certain level of attendance at school had to be maintained or you didn't get to go. The same applied to behaviour. As far as I'm aware, no other type of celebration was mooted by pupils. The prom took place after the graduation of the year when each pupil received a scroll. Then they were bussed to a local hotel. Senior management would stop anyone entering the hotel who were 'under the weather' and contact their parents to collect them. Laterally that didn't often happen, although there were always a few who chanced their luck. Senior management also supervised what was going on at the prom. The head teacher was always glad when it was done! Generally the pupils and staff had a lovely time. It was nice to them dressed up. There was also a BBQ organised by the captains and perfects for staff.

My thoughts exactly BlueSky.

Grandmabatty

Ixion I can only comment on my experience in a Scottish school. Completely organised and run by senior pupils. There was a committee headed by the captains and a depute head teacher would advise, if asked and would have an overview. Staff received a formal, often beautiful, invitation but were not involved in publicising or organising any part of the prom. The committee would ensure all those eligible to attend knew how much it would cost etc and the school office took in the money. A certain level of attendance at school had to be maintained or you didn't get to go. The same applied to behaviour. As far as I'm aware, no other type of celebration was mooted by pupils. The prom took place after the graduation of the year when each pupil received a scroll. Then they were bussed to a local hotel. Senior management would stop anyone entering the hotel who were 'under the weather' and contact their parents to collect them. Laterally that didn't often happen, although there were always a few who chanced their luck. Senior management also supervised what was going on at the prom. The head teacher was always glad when it was done! Generally the pupils and staff had a lovely time. It was nice to them dressed up. There was also a BBQ organised by the captains and perfects for staff.

Thank you for taking to time to explain how these things (might) work.

It would take a Herculean effort to break the mould, by the looks of it!

Another ghastly American idea. As with wedding showers, baby showers,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Anyway, to me a ‘Prom’ is a concert at the Albert Hall, not a school thing.

Own clothes days are bad enough honestly. Especially when its raining and muddy and beautiful new clothes get ruined.

I also prefer the outings to theme parks etc muxh more inclusive

They are not aimed at the middle-aged and elderly. The majority of young people like a prom, those that don't Do not attend.

I have 3 grandchildren doing their GCSE’s at the moment.
Their prom is in one months time.
gGD has ordered her dress, will have hair and nails done , limo with boyfriend, - the meal alone is £40. Overall cost about £300.

Twin gs’s - one doesn’t want to go but will meet up at the after party at a friends large house. The other twin will buy a suit and go with friends .

Eldest gd had her prom 3 years ago. Had all the trimmings. The meal was very poor and she said it was an ‘OK’ occassion.

I think it should all be stopped.

Yet more pressure on already struggling households.............it is difficult making ends meet for many without the cost of outfits and all the extras!

No such thing as a Prom when I left grammar school, we had an end of year disco for the fourth to upper sixth students but even those weren't well attended, my friends and I preferred to go into town, plenty of fun there and much cheaper too.

For any parents looking for a dress, the 'everything5pounds' website have recently advertised some dresses that would be suitable.

Shandy57

For any parents looking for a dress, the 'everything5pounds' website have recently advertised some dresses that would be suitable.

Thanks for sharing this Shandy........I'm sure it will help some families!

Elizabeth27

They are not aimed at the middle-aged and elderly. The majority of young people like a prom, those that don't Do not attend.

That's not the point, though.

The point is that they are a new phenomenon and have become extravaganzas which some some can't afford.

Surely something simpler could be just as much fun?

It's even extended to pupils leaving primary school now - one year a parent organised a stretch limo with a disco for 10-11 year olds!
The parents of DGD's Y6 refused to go down that route but they all had a great time anyway.

I think it has got a bit out of hand, but honestly who cares if it’s American? It’s a fun chance to dress up and have fun, and of course the kids are going to smuggle alcohol in. Weirdly, the youth of today aren’t into ballroom dancing and deb balls…

Rubbish, and when they do graduation ceremonies for infants. Complete with mortar board and gown.

There's no point in being dismissive about the proms. They may be an American import, but there's no denying that the majority of the students relish the opportunity to dress up and show off. Both my GDs enjoyed their proms. The GSs didn't have Y11 proms because their year groups were caught up in the lockdowns. It remains to be seen if they will attend Sixth Form 'does'.

Amberspyglass I have attended proms where the kids smuggled alcohol in. It wasn't pretty. Teenagers vomiting on food, floors, chairs and staff. Fights breaking out because they didn't know how to handle alcohol. Staff, who paid a lot for the privilege, standing in toilets to stop said teenagers getting even more drunk or trying to let previously banned pupils in through windows. Drunk teenagers saying outrageous things to staff. Staff having to deal with very drunk, hysterical teenagers whose parents dropped them off, knowing they were drunk. Thank goodness my school sorted out the worst of that. It wasn't a pleasant experience for us, I can assure you.

I think that it can be a positive experience and why not? Marking the end of school and a rite of passage. One of my GC missed out because of Covid and was very disappointed, still that's life. Another had a scaled down version last year, making the best of things.

Dreadful things aimed at huge competition between the girls and also between the boys …one child a boy at my granddaughters prom arrived on a Harley Davison complete with entourage, the huge Cadillacs etc and one arrived in a helicopter ?
The competition in dresses is dreadful and they all feel they need to compete or be out on a limb
Horrible horrible things

I agree. Fine if everyone is equally privileged ...

DH was head of secondary school some years ago. Prom was organised and catered by the PTA in the well decorated school hall. Minimal cost in an area where parents not wealthy. Prize was given for most unusual method of arriving. No helicopters or limos but a motor mower won it one year. Don’t know if it still happens like that. But fun and sensitive too!