The School Prom - For or Against?

In my experience, staff don't push the prom, but if the pupil doesn't go, they miss out on the memories.
When I retired 5 years ago, boys wore ordinary suits, girls long dresses. Each tutor-group elected a rep which did most of the decision-making (venue, menu, price). I think they also organised raising money throughout the year to keep the ticket price down. The expectation now is for a Y11 prom.
Sadly in the academy I worked for, they insisted staff pay full price, even though they were clearly working (and many female staff had nothing suitable to wear, so had to buy something!). One colleague said, No problem, I''ll arrive for the post-meal dancing'. Following year, it was specifically stated this was not acceptable!
Not all schools gave 6th forms, and even if they do, many Y11s will be going to local college. The Y13 leaving do tends to be a much smaller, more intimate affair.

My daughter didn’t want a dress, she wore a white trouser suit and I drove her in my Dad’s jag. It’ll be interesting, as it’s her daughter’s turn next year, to see what she does.
Personally, I see them as a bit of one upmanship for no good reason.

At the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, I am afraid that I too do not feel comfortable with this: nor with hen and stag nights (that used to be a drink in the local pub with your friends one night to wish you well) but now cost a fortune and often involve foreign travel.

I have nothing against having fun, but it all seems to have got a bit out of hand and a huge pressure on families and on young people to conform.

Our local school cancelled them for good after lockdown.

Had hoped covid was a perfect time to end this nonsense once and for all!
We have 2 DDs and we simply could not have afforded this when they left school.
Ironically 2nd DGD didn’t have a graduation ceremony when she graduated with (granny boast warning!!) first class history honours. I do think the Uni should tag them onto subsequent ceremonies

They're like every celebration nowadays- become totally commercialised and OTT and cost an absolute fortune.
Christmas ,weddings, christenings, hen nights etc have become competitive show off events with the original meaning lost in many cases.

I think they are expensive for many people and am sure something cheaper could be organised which would cause less stress and be equally enjoyable.

I'm indifferent, as long as I don't have to attend them (teachers are 'encouraged' to be there).

I’ve got to say I am against the school prom - a huge expense and unnecessary and I suspect quite a lot of stress too. I also felt the same about preschool graduation, when a friend sent me a picture of her DGS ‘graduating’ but on speaking to DGS1s nursery, I’ve changed my mind. It seems as if it’s a nice little ceremony which will draw a line under their Nursery and preschool days, showing they are all big boys and girls now and starting real school in September. In DGS1’s case, the Nursery and his First school are side by side, so I expect he’ll be a little confused at first, turning right instead of left.

There are so many worn and unworn Prom dresses being advertised for sale on our local news feed, nearly all cost £hundreds and, in some cases, more than £1,000!!! How can they all afford such prices??

Weddings are the same, just need to outdo everyone else. The problem is, the actual marriages don't seem to last!

My son had 4!!! He was at a small special needs school so his first one was at the end of year 11 when they were asked to join with the sixth form, presumably to get numbers up enough to cover the room hire room etc in a hotel.

Then he had a 3 year sixth form (it's a special school thing) again with the whole sixth form being invited not just the leavers.

Those three were held in the school, the students did a lot of fund raising during the year to pay for an events company to go in and run a disco, decorate the room etc.

I know we still for it as we supported the fund raisers but it was spread out. Small cost for a ticket, photos were "mates rates" as one of the Dads who does photography as a second job took them, fortunately DS had stopped growing so the lounge suit we had got for Prom one was fine for all 4!! No limos. Parents took them!!
But he enjoyed them so that was the main thing!

A lot of hotels near me won't take bookings for proms anymore. They're getting the same reputation as hen parties. Young people drinking too much and causing hassle and annoyance to other guests.

An import from the USA like lots of things and can cost parents a fortune for what exactly. Far better for those in their final year at school to receive some 'Strictly Come Dancing' lessons and have a proper dance/ball. The girls could be taught how to customise a dress from a charity shop as part of the event or shown where to borrow/hire a dress via an app for one of the numerous sites offering this. Lessons in hair/makeup could also be given and prizes awarded on the evening for the best dress, hair, makeup, young man's outfit, dancer etc

At least they haven't introduced the whole Prom Queen thing.

It’s another American import. We have got far more history in this country than the US will ever have so why do we have to follow all their tacky trends.
How many parents are struggling with raised energy and food costs, but feel it essential that their son/daughter has hundreds of pounds spent on this ridiculous ‘event’ to keep up with others?

Oh I hate the whole idea of them. The pressure to 'look fab' - I was the chubby spotty one. The false 'everything' - tan, hair, make-up, nails, really really reinforcing the value that certainly for girls you appearance IS your whole value. The horror of not being 'chosen' by a boy, the fancy transport. And then as others have said God help the parent who does not have the means to provide all this. It's enough to make you drink and smoke in the park!!

All my children went to a Prom at the end of year 11 so they have been common here in England for 30 odd years, not a recent import. Organised by the students, held in school hall with an after party at a local sports club. I managed to keep costs reasonable as bot my boys were able to fit in their fathers DJ so only needed decent shoes and my daughter asked me to make her dress. She dad have her hair done at my local hairdressers but it cost no more than a usual cut and blow - and she paid for it herself anyway.

Transport to the prom was the big thing at their school, it was a big competition to arrive in an unusual vehicle and they used to parade around the village beforehand while people stood and watched. One year they had a helicopter land on the playing fields, someone abseiled from the school roof ( banned for subsequent years!) and a boy once arrived accompanied by the marching band he was part of! Luckily two of my children were happy to be driven by their dad in a posh car he borrowed but my youngest clubbed together with about 20 friends to hire a flat bed truck which they decorated with tables, chairs, a bar and lots of plants to look like a speakeasy type of bar!

As an ex teacher, I was also involved in proms at two secondary schools, I was never asked to pay for a ticket though, my role was simply to supervise but we did dress up to suit the occasions and enjoyed our own little celebration after the pupils left - and after we had tidied up!

I see no harm in them, the children enjoy them and it marks the end of many years of school, especially as around here, few school have a sixth form so the children spilt up to go to different colleges. All the school I know have a day trip to Alton Towers as well, often paid for through fundraising by the pupils.

It seems that shops that sell these glamorous dresses ask the student which school it is that they attend. This is to make sure that another student from the same school doesn't choose the same dress!
We had a barn dance in my day back in the 60s!

It's the American way.
My DD's Nana made her prom dress, 30 years ago.
There was a LOT of competition, one-upmanship.
My DD busied herself taking the photos for the year book.
She was not then, nor is she now, into all that BS.
And no, I'm not American.
You'll get used to it.

My DC had them 18 years ago (eldest) so they are not new. Not at primary though.

I agree it’s just another American custom that’s made it’s way here with excessive spending expected. I’ve even seen junior schools doing proms for eleven year olds!
When I left school in 1958 we had a ‘Leavers Party’ which consisted of a cold buffet in the school assembly hall followed by country dancing ? and games. All done by 10 pm. No ball gowns or black tie, just your best frock if you had one.

Round here there are very few sixth forms in schools so our year elevens are leaving school. With my own children l was able to get their outfits fairly cheaply - for the boys l bought a cheap jacket, trousers and white shirt from Asda and they borrowed a bow tie from my husband. My daughter’s outfit was relatively inexpensive as we bought it in the sales. The shoes were the hardest as she takes size 2 but Brantano sold extreme sizes. We did treat her to her hair and nails. All three enjoyed themselves. My oldest son went to a special school and the parents clubbed together for a limousine to take them all to the event. I think if done sensibly it can be a lovely way to mark leaving school.

They are even creeping into primary school. My grandaughter’s school is organising an end of school disco for the year 6’s. Sounds ok but the theme is Hollywood and limousine’s are being provided (at a cost). I think it’s right to mark the transition to high school but I’m not sure a prom by another name is the right way to do it.

Lots can’t afford the elaborate occasion. Why not have a school dance. Tasteful and not too costly.
Girls school inviting a boys school, black tie great fun. Play down the tacky stuff. Definitely no limousines etc- prob solved.
Teach them to do a basic waltz and this will last them a lifetime.