Meghan and harry

My child was never ‘cowed’. He wasn’t ‘thrashed’ as I was. He is a happy, successful and well-adjusted man and we have a very close relationship.

SueDonim Your zoo visit reminded me of when we took my very young DD to the Zoo and all she was interested in was picking the daisies! I have photographic evidence! ?

With my first child we decided it was a brilliant idea to take him to a science museum at 3 months old. No idea what we were thinking.

Since when has thumbing your nose at your mother become acceptable behaviour for a fidgety four year old?

As for an earlier comment that Kate was invading Louis’ personal space…What??

He’s the child, she’s the grown-up. She makes the rules!

Squiffy I’ve remembered that my dd did in fact look at one group of animals. It was the kangaroo enclosure, where the gentlemen were lying around in the sun, disporting the evidence of their maleness. ?. Lots of questions along the lines of What’s that thing sticking up? ???

Germanshepherdsmum

My child was never ‘cowed’. He wasn’t ‘thrashed’ as I was. He is a happy, successful and well-adjusted man and we have a very close relationship.

Sorry, I read it that you had been thrashed as a child.
Not that you smacked your own child.

That's how I understood it, anyway.

Germanshepherdsmum

I am of the generation which did smack children, and it worked - but nothing like how I was, in my father's words 'thrashed'. That I will never forget.

This post

Perhaps I misread it.

Calendargirl

Remember a quote someone said to me years ago at a PTA meeting.

“The best parents are those who have never had children”.

Oh ain't that the truth! Tickled me up ?

Most of those of us who have had children, have had the misfortune of witnessing them having a tantrum in public - Kate would have been mortified (I know I was) and I thought she dealt with it very diplomatically (what else could she have done?). Bet she gave him a good talking to the next day though!

I left my oldest at the giraffe exhibit at the zoo. She was 12 and had a cell phone with her and we were with a large group of kids her age, but she still never lets me live it down.

I hate love to admit it, I am not a perfect parent and I do not have perfect kids.

merlotgran: I don't think anyone said it was acceptable. They said it was normal. Two different things. Misbehaving is normal for a 4 year old. That is when children learn acceptable behavior.

the title of this thread is misleading............should be renamed ...'all about Louis'

You understood it correctly Calli. I smacked, or perhaps slapped is a better word, my son occasionally if he was really naughty. My father, in his words, thrashed me. I can still feel it today.

I used to get occasional "hammerings" from my mother, and her verbal insults were terrible. None of my daughters in law , now all elderly or middle aged women, were at all violent or insulting to their kids. I hit my boys occasionally but I was not as frightening as my mother as I never insulted them

Since I was a week old I was taken to long Latin masses with my sisters .Carrying on wasn't an option and we learned to sit and stand and kneel when everyone else did .It was not something that was remarkable ,it was just how we were raised.
My eldest two GC were raised RC and they had a similar upbringing ,often taken to church by their other granny when their Dad was working .Apart from the odd child taken out if upset I genuinely dont remember sitting for around an hour ,sometimes more ,being an ordeal .
When those two GC were 6 and 3 we took them to a christening in a church where children are normally left in Sunday school.I wasn't happy about handing them over to strangers so kept them with me ,despite the disapproving looks from some of the congregation .
They were impeccably behaved ,apart from my GD not knowing any of the hymns and singing Twinke Twinkle little star to every one...and there were a fair few .
We were congratulated on their behaviour by numerous folk as we left after the 75 minute service .
Someone earlier said children of that age CANT sit for more than 15 minutes ,in my experience thats not the case ,its how you train them that counts.
I could take mine anywhere and they didn't act out and no they were never smacked.Iwould never have let any child cover my mouth or be cheeky in public ,maybe his nanny isn't doing her job

I trained my dogs, I didn’t train my children.

paddyann54

Since I was a week old I was taken to long Latin masses with my sisters .Carrying on wasn't an option and we learned to sit and stand and kneel when everyone else did .It was not something that was remarkable ,it was just how we were raised.
My eldest two GC were raised RC and they had a similar upbringing ,often taken to church by their other granny when their Dad was working .Apart from the odd child taken out if upset I genuinely dont remember sitting for around an hour ,sometimes more ,being an ordeal .
When those two GC were 6 and 3 we took them to a christening in a church where children are normally left in Sunday school.I wasn't happy about handing them over to strangers so kept them with me ,despite the disapproving looks from some of the congregation .
They were impeccably behaved ,apart from my GD not knowing any of the hymns and singing Twinke Twinkle little star to every one...and there were a fair few .
We were congratulated on their behaviour by numerous folk as we left after the 75 minute service .
Someone earlier said children of that age CANT sit for more than 15 minutes ,in my experience thats not the case ,its how you train them that counts.
I could take mine anywhere and they didn't act out and no they were never smacked.Iwould never have let any child cover my mouth or be cheeky in public ,maybe his nanny isn't doing her job

Phew! Somebody agrees with me.

Like many on here I brought up my children in the laid back seventies. We used to joke that they were almost raising themselves but they were always well behaved in public. Home was the place where they let off steam but they knew their boundaries.

Louis is a lovely little boy and knows how to grab the attention of the crowd but he went beyond what I think is acceptable behaviour by making rude gestures at his mother.

I’ve been told that it’s normal behaviour for a four year old. Well, not in my world it isn’t.

Maybe it’s time for some Gransnetters to write a book - How To Raise The Perfect Child. They could send a free copy to the RF.

merlotgran, paddyanne, there's quite a few of us with the same view as you.

We're considered dinosaurs, I think. Ruining children's self expression or something.

I mean, heaven forfend that a child's parents should be responsible for making sure their behaviour in public places is acceptable. Free for all, that's better for the tootums. ??‍♀️

Sorry, its paddyann54

It would be a very short book in my case.

Chapter 1. Teach your child that some gestures are considered rude and shouldn’t be made in front of other people because they will think you are bad mannered.

THE END

merlotgran

It would be a very short book in my case.

Chapter 1. Teach your child that some gestures are considered rude and shouldn’t be made in front of other people because they will think you are bad mannered.

THE END

Because you know at all times what little behavioural gems your child has picked up at school and you can predict exactly when they will deploy that particular bomb for the first time?

Of course Louis shouldn’t have behaved as he did - I wouldn’t have been best pleased myself - but I imagine he will by now know the extent of his crimes and it will follow him for the rest of his life, unlike for most children.

Whitewavemark2

Callistemon21

Glorianny

Reading this I can't help think how right H&M were to leave the RF and the UK. Bad enough that adults should be subjected to uninformed criticism but a small boy? No wonder they keep their children out of the public view.

Yes.

Actually, other threads got deleted, I think, which criticised the children.

Yes.

Yes indeed.
My mother was born in 1922, the oldest of 4 children. They were never smacked. I’m one of 3, we weren’t smacked, didn’t smack our own children, they don’t smack our grandchildren.
I don’t see smacking as a good way to teach children about how to behave well.
It doesn’t work. Look at the boys in school when I was there. The same group of boys regularly bring caned or slippered. It didn’t work and it’s barbaric.

I saw Kate responding to Louis and felt she was doing well, especially as she knew the subject would be in the msm and forums like this.

I don’t see smacking as a good way to teach children about how to behave well.

It teaches children that, if Mum or Dad do it, then it's OK to hit someone

Spanking, smacking , is hitting . A small child smacks his mother so the mother smacks the child to explain smacking is
wrong ? A child uses a swear word so the mother says -
don’t bloody swear, it’s wrong

It's also generally about loss of control. The parents arent calmly thinking I will teach them good manners by smacking them, they smack because they cant control their frustration.

Whilst I don’t like smacking, I’m still waiting for all the non-smacking parents to explain why their young children rush out of school and smack or punch mum or dad or grandparents with no obvious deterrent offered apart from the occasional,”Don’t do that. It’s naughty. Or don’t do that, you know it hurts me.”
These are parents who assure me that they don’t smack, when I ask to speak to them about incidents in school?
If they don’t smack at home and we don’t smack in school, why do the children think it’s OK to smack each other, or adults?