Good morning campers. New day, new broom.
First, an apology to our guest who, last night, had to use the old broom to sweep Gerard Hoffnung from her commodious chamber. He’d been enjoying a French widow since 1958 and, quite frankly, looked a tad worn.
On the upper deck, guests are enjoying a breakfast of coffee, croissants and a bucket of Bucks Fizz with the captain. Following this, she we will be cruising at altitude in a south-easterly direction from Marseille, past the Parc National de Calanques, on course for Toulon by noon.
Those who wish to faire le shopping may wish to visit the Galerie Lafayette on Boulevard de Strasbourg where you will find Gucci, Hermès, Dior, Chanel and other old couturiers. For those in the cheaper seats, next door is le Poundland where new couturier, Brogan from Sewing Bee, will be demonstrating how to make a non-folding ballgown from bits of old neoprene and chicken wire.
Those who enjoy the visual arts will be spoilt for choice in Toulon. Those who prefer altitude-sickness may take the cable car to the top of Mont Faron for a panoramic view of the city where you may spot Brünnhilde being arrested for whatever she has done today.
As the weather looks set to be fine all day, back on board for cocktails at 19:00 before more alfresco dining and a raid on the commodious wine fridge. Menu to be announced.
Well, what a lovely morning?
Just nipped back to dump these carrier bags, you can ogle the brand names if you like and to slip into something more appropriate for the beach this afternoon?. My feet are killing me?.
Had a fantastic trip on the Téléphérique. Sadly my vertigo caught me unawares but I was able to cling on to a very nice young man who assisted me. Felt it churlish to point out that his aroma of Gauloises was quite overpowering despite the wave of nostalgia which swept over me, only to be replaced by a wave of nausea.
Rejected his offer of "companionship" (I mean 'oh pleease'?) on the hiking trails.
Then off to the Posh Shops (note prominently strewn dress bags). Decided I was sadly lacking in the designer pooch department. I have the requisite sac à main, was wondering when GSM's canine pal was going to be ready joining us??
Enjoy your afternoon, sun lounger awaits⛱
A bientôt.
He does look surprised to have seen you too...
Le Lido de Toulon is doing happy hour on its private beach now. Chill.
Tomorrow's itinerary as I may not get a chance to post this then.
We will be heading just a short distance along the coast to drop anchor near the pretty and historic market town of Hyères and the adjacent Golden Isles of Port-Cros, Le Levant and Porquerolles, (I feel there’s a bacon bap joke in there somewhere if someone can think of it.)
A local guide will welcome us and give a short talk entitled: From Napoleon to Naturism or, as the girls giggling in the back row call it: From Boney to Bottoms. Note: one photo some viewers might find offensive ... or very nice.
You will be delighted to hear that on Le Levant it is permitted to walk naked everywhere except for the harbour and the village square. Fellow guests are requested to keep an eye on Brünnhilde for public order violation.
Back onboard for calamine lotion and cocktails at 19:00 hours.
Well, I'm up early (no need to dress at all formally) and am first at the gangplank ready for the off.
I see there is a crowd gathering already for Le Levant.
Think I'll skip the conducted tour, if that's OK?
Make my own way there, follow the thong...
But just to prove anything Le Levant (and I feel there should be a joke in there too) can do, Glasto can do better!
Somebody’s going to need the calamine tonight!
We've not had a sing song for a few days.
Flaunting our wrinkly bodies and eating our ice cold lollies
Thongs ain’t wot they used to be
We're grans in scant bikinis and drinking vodka martinis
Thongs ain’t wot they used to be
There used to be trains
Not very quick, got you from place to place
But now there's just jams, twenty miles thick
Stay in the South of France, we’re sailing …
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