I know,I said I need to be nicer...

Tears running down my face laughing. Would be rolf but probably would be dark before I could get back up. I'm away now to water.

I really feel for you. I had a neighbour like that some years ago. I used to say either she moves or I do. Luckily she moved.
I realise now, please or offend that I should have been more assertive.
For your own mental health you've got to be firm with her. If she falls out with you that's fine. That's exactly what you want.
Could you change your phone number? Then when she rings your old number and she says she can't get through just say to her you don't know why. Other people seem to get through.
People will treat you the way you allow them to.
Good luck.

What would happen if you go to her house and do exactly what she does, only for a couple of days or so?

I actually think she would be quite kind, thinking that I must need to talk.
(Not that I'd get a word in!)
She does collect people to take under her wing.

I'd pop a sign up, DO NOT DISTURB - I'VE HAD 6 VISITORS TODAY AND AM VERY TIRED.

You could change the number as appropriate...when she asks who they were you could say...Well you, at 8am, 9.30, 10,15 etc...It might shock her enough to keep a tally herself perhaps?

Good luck, look on Facebook or local selling sites for a staircase, so are very difficult to work...but make sure you can open it ?

You must have the patience of a saint! I would certainly try not to be nasty with someone like this but, me being me, eventually I would snap and tell her to go forth and multiply and stay away from my home. I am a firm believer in personal space and not letting others invade it beyond what you are prepared to tolerate. Hope you manage to reduce her visits - it must be so mentally draining to have to deal with someone like that.

This sounds dreadful. I would be tearful too. It sounds like torture, but the poor woman sounds unwell too. Has she family who could intervene? I do not know what your living circumstances are, but if there is a warden or management company, can they advise you?
I would be clear in telling her not to continually bother you, tell her that you will ask if you need something. Tell her as kindly as you can that her continual attention is making you ill, and that she must stay away. Not sure if that will work. but something must. Would your local social services have any advice?
All the best Miss Adventure. I hope this gets solved.

I can imagine a thread "Help! I'm stuck in my flat!"

One thing is puzzling me, with COVID-19 still at level 3 epidemic and you having health problems, why are you letting her come near you?

I saw on Sky News yesterday that over 3 million people in the UK have COVID-19 at present.

LINK > news.sky.com/story/covid-infections-rise-again-to-nearly-3-8-million-figures-show-12656811

I just looked that link up and this was headline!

LINK > news.sky.com/story/monkeypox-world-health-organisation-declares-outbreak-as-global-heath-emergency-12657671

Good point SD.

I had to be very forceful during the first wave of covid, because madam took absolutely no notice at all of the rules.
She still went out 5 or 6 times a day, every day.

It was one of those rules that went in one ear and out the other.

Why not now?

If you have to go somewhere, it is a balance of the risk of catching it and the effect of not going.

But if there is no downside to being in isolation from others then why take the risk?

I have my Tesco deliveries left on the doorstep and I get them in when the delivery driver has gone - I put a box out earlier, similarly if the postperson brings a parcel, though no box put outside for the post. I answer from an upstairs window. There seems no point in changing what has worked fine for over two years.

How do you get your shopping please?

Oops. Might a baseball bat be too much of a temptation!

Well, again, my neighbour will bring me in bread or milk sometimes.
Or I do an online shop every now and then.

I haven't really got a set routine for shopping yet, for various reasons.

Sometimes I can't cook, sometimes I can cook then not fancy it, and there is the cost consideration.

Sometimes I have the inclination, appetite, and energy to cook, but I can't see well enough.

MissAdventure

Sometimes I have the inclination, appetite, and energy to cook, but I can't see well enough.

Would it be a good idea to get in touch with RNIB?

LINK > www.rnib.org.uk/

LINK > www.rnib.org.uk/advice/living-well-with-sight-loss-courses

> These free, informal courses are currently run by phone or video call. To find out about upcoming dates and to book, please visit our Course Calendar.

LINK > www.rnib.org.uk/advice/course-calendar

There are gadgets to help people with vision problems.

You might get them free via occupational health. I know a neighbour got various grab rails.

Well, I am hoping my eye problems are temporary, caused by dry eyes not being treated properly.

They have ended up being pitted and scarred, but will heal (eventually)

My vision is improving.
I couldn't see out of one eye at all at one point.
It's on my "to do" list to get a new pair of glasses once I can get out and about a bit.

Going out will also help me feel better about You Know Who.

MissAdventure

My vision is improving.
I couldn't see out of one eye at all at one point.
It's on my "to do" list to get a new pair of glasses once I can get out and about a bit.

Going out will also help me feel better about You Know Who.

You could get an eye test at home.

LINK > www.outsideclinic.co.uk/

I have had them several times.

A very good service.

They even, at my request, calculated , made, delivered, and fitted some special glasses for me optimised for 60 centimetres, which is farther than reading glasses, so that I can sit upright and use a computer comfortably. I am wearing them now. I keep two glasses boxes, supplied by them, by my computer and I swap glasses upon starting to use the computer and upon stopping using the computer. I swap glasses when I move from the computer to cook, get shopping et cetera, then I swap glasses again when I return to the computer.

An optometrist does the test, someone else brings them and fits them. All female so far. I think they have some men. I expect you could specifically request females if you wish, I seem to think that there is exemption from sex discrimination rules for things like this, either or both as close up, in your own home.

I could, but I'm champing at the bit to get out.
Also, my eyes are still at the streaming stage, half the time.
I want to get on top of that before having them poked about.
Also, I want to get as much vision back as possible before I get my eyes "done".

And, I want to stop droning on about my ailments! I bore myself with it.

How does she manage to get in your place? Lock your door and if she has a key ask for it back. Perhaps say it's something to do with insurance and making place safe. Close your curtains so she doesn't see you. Does she have any family you can speak with and explain how she seems to have difficulty remembering and her habits have become more persistant. 17 years of her, you are a saint but she is affecting your mental health and it has to stop. Just no other way than to say you want her to only visit say once a day or even once a week.

Oh dear, that would drive me insane. Clearly she has some mental health issues, which might explain her behaviour but doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
Can you sit somewhere where she can't see you from the outside, and lock the door as if you were out?
There are some great ideas from other posters.

I would hate to have locked doors and closed curtains all the time and I suspect MissA would too.
Mrs Nice would probably bang on the door anyway, thinking there was something wrong.

You take control and go round to HERS for a change. To tell her that you really have appreciated her attention but that you will also appreciate it if she stops with the red cross food parcels and granny sitting! Bite the bullet and say you don't want to fall out over this but she really needs to put the brakes on and leave you be, if you like suggest that if you want her company you'll call on her and never the other way round? Hope you get some peace!

4allweknow

How does she manage to get in your place? Lock your door and if she has a key ask for it back. Perhaps say it's something to do with insurance and making place safe. Close your curtains so she doesn't see you. Does she have any family you can speak with and explain how she seems to have difficulty remembering and her habits have become more persistant. 17 years of her, you are a saint but she is affecting your mental health and it has to stop. Just no other way than to say you want her to only visit say once a day or even once a week.

MissA has explained that neighbours family is not a possibility.