I know,I said I need to be nicer...

MissAdventure you do sound to be a lovely person.Your neighbour is wearing you down at times, though of course she cannot help it, and has also been kind and helpful to you when you need it.
Perhaps the best is just to pretend you are out when you are not up to conversations with her, or you were asleep and didn’t hear the door bell.

Hi, I was thinking a bit more about this, and wondered if you might need a simple short term solution rather than for the rest of your life.

As your health and in particular your eye condition improves you might then be in a slightly less vulnerable position and so a different proposal might be more appropriate at that point. Or maybe you will feel less worn down and more able to bear it, not that you should have to feel as though you are in an intolerable position, ever.

Would it be any good if you explained to your neighbour that as your eyes are bad you need to rest a lot but hope things will be better in a month or so, and that if you need her you will call her?

Phrase it as "I need you to help me by remembering I have to have a lot of rest."

This evening the routine will start.
She will be doing a dinner today, so, once washed up (in a nice sink full of hot water, starting with the glasses, and only when she has washed down the work surfaces first...) she will be down.

I'm ready.
Going to say something.

(I can't go to hers first - can't get up the stairs)

Good luck, I hope it goes okay and she gets the message.

Oh good luck MissA ?
FarNorth that is fantastic advice

We will be thinking of you.

This lady's behaviour is not normal. I think you should buy one of those front door bells that videos and record evrerything. As you both live in some flats it isliekly you have a land lord. Your neighbour is likely to be in breach of good behaviour. There maybe somone employed by your landlord ie. in social housing whose job it is to sort this kind of stuff out. If there is you would ask for an appointment and show them what you have recorded and get their advice. they would then ask you neighbour to behavioue in a less intensive way.

FarNorth

Phrase it as "I need you to help me by remembering I have to have a lot of rest."

That seems best.

Would it help to phrase it as a question?

I wonder if you could help me with something please? The thing is, ... well, I do appreciate the way that you help me when I've got a problem, like going and getting my prescription for me, but, well, I need to rest, so could I ask you not to keep popping down please? It's just that I do need to rest quietly.

Good luck.

Good luck indeed!

I love Farnorth's turn of phrase - kind and crystal clear. I still think you'll need a 'do not disturb' on the door to remind her though as she is forgetful.

I think you, or someone else, needs to tell her quite firmly that her behaviour isn’t really acceptable and needs to stop. You don’t want to loose her friendship but her behaviour is ruining your life.

MissAdventure

This evening the routine will start.
She will be doing a dinner today, so, once washed up (in a nice sink full of hot water, starting with the glasses, and only when she has washed down the work surfaces first...) she will be down.

I'm ready.
Going to say something.

(I can't go to hers first - can't get up the stairs)

Did you do it ?

Hi ?
How did you get on yesterday Mads?
Hope it’s all okay

Hi MissAdventure I hope we ( ie I ) haven't worn you out with sometimes less than helpful suggestions and attempts at mirth.

Hope everything went well for you and that you are now on a better pathway with your neighbour.

You've got to have boundaries. No one should make your life this miserable.

I'm afraid you will have to be firmer with her, or just ignore her. If she continues to harass you and ignore your pleas, I would tell her you will have to call the police because you need your privacy and it's unacceptable.

It's up to her to control herself.

I hope MissA isn't feeling bad after having to put her foot firmly down.

I hope MissA isn't feeling bad, whatever happened. ?

She sounds like she's very lonely. I don't blame you for feeling a little batty about her constant interruptions. Does she have relatives who live nearby? Do you think she's cognitively declining? I know this can be a very touchy subject, but if you know any of her relatives, perhaps you can mention her behaviour to them.

blutz

She sounds like she's very lonely. I don't blame you for feeling a little batty about her constant interruptions. Does she have relatives who live nearby? Do you think she's cognitively declining? I know this can be a very touchy subject, but if you know any of her relatives, perhaps you can mention her behaviour to them.

Again. MissA has already said talking to the neighbours family is not an option.

I'm hoping you are ok MissA. And that the problem has been sorted out.

Hi all.
I've been a bit under the weather, so not online.

The neigjvour situation is a work in progress. no, I'm too cowardly to sort it out by insisting

Neigjbour.

Neighbour

???? Here's some more MissA, you must have worn the others out!