Spending weekend alone

I was on my own this weekend too. I quite enjoyed it, though I did realise that any talking I'd done was mainly to the cat. How about going to see a film? I always find that's something best done alone.

I have been a widow for exactly one week and I know I am going to have to face loneliness. I have always been fine with my own company, but now I must learn to live alone. Can you direct me to the part of this site that can help?
I really like Gransnet, you are an intelligent lot.

It's a rotten rotten feeling and we all get it (maybe?) it's daunting when it catches you at 3 in the morning. but it goes. and we're stronger for it. Some happily married people whose spouses don't die, or leave, maybe escape it...
the calm breathing, warmth and weight of my dog on my bed, so I can stretch out and stroke her, comforts me no end and calms me back to sleep. In the den. Safe.
But you are not alone. You're just brave enough to admit it.

Hi knittingnovice. I completely understand where you are coming from with this. Loneliness is something that has just recently crept up on me. I have just spent the weekend alone. During that time I have been doing some self analysis and it’s not very easy to sort out. I’ve always been someone who has enjoyed her own company and spent the three months of the pandemic completely alone, with FaceTime calls but not actually seeing anyone and being afraid to go out. I got over it once we returned to more “normal” living but during the lockdown I wasn’t as lonely as I thought I would be. Now living back as I was more being freer to go out I find myself feeling more isolated and lonely at times. I have thyroid issues so I don’t always feel very energetic so I don’t always want to make the effort of joining groups and things. I feel because of these issues I have painted myself into a corner whereby I don’t really want to go out but I don’t really enjoy being at home alone so much. I have never admitted this to any of my family or friends and I’m hoping by recognising my problem I will be able to address it in some way. I think that maybe you are feeling like this too and as someone on here pointed out it is the oncoming dark evenings and cold weather making it all feel worse. Take care and know that there others like you out there and I think these feelings will pass given some effort and time.

Well said! Too much judgement and not enough kindness on Gransnet, which is rather sad.

Volunteer for something. Then you won’t be lonely and you will make friends.

Loneliness is something I have experienced a lot, but since I got my small daft curly dog I don't feel it nearly as much. It took me two years of dithering before I got him, but have never regretted it.

Lots of kind folk on here have offered good advice if getting a dog isn't for you. To start with I would say join anything and everything to see what you like. When my younger daughter was very ill with an eating disorder and I was desperate for a couple of hours away from the chaos ( single parent) I headed for the local library where evening classes were being booked. The woman behind the desk asked me what I would like to sign up for and I just said " Anything you've got" As a result I joined a stained glass class and had a whale of a time making mirrors and lamps. If you are handling class and a soldering iron your mind tends to stay focussed and off your troubles.

All the best

handling glass

I love being alone. Always have, I never feel lonely, just happy.
I don't do a lot now, but just what I feel like doing. I'm 76 and had a stroke 5 years ago, I'm partly paralysed and struggle with most things. I still drive, so can get out if I feel like it. I have two lovely dogs, that keep me company and I prefer to stay home.
I only venture out with family members and have a lovely time. I guess I'm anti-social. I sympathise with the OP if she can't find happiness in small things around her to break out of her loneliness,

I've had many weekends alone and sometimes the whole week....having severe anxiety and disability/current health issues prevents me from going out to clubs/societies etc think the OP was maybe just having an off w/end as she says she has hobbies/clubs etc she can get to...

my problem , and we are all different.. is I get out, amongst friends, have a coffee, laugh , chat etc. and as I leave I feel myself go down,down,down...

then I have to deal with feeling this all alone feeling.

I daydream of my family inviting me to live with or very near them,, I know it won`t happen, wouldn`t work,, but I still daydream.. my dh died 3 years ago, just before the pandemic, I am one that tends to live in "fairyland" as I describe myself.... we are complicated creatures...

I do meditation, not very successfully, I have a butterfly mind! I do very easy, basic Tai Chi, on youtube, I think that helps... and I am learning to share withmy friends, that certainly helps, as I am quite a reserved person, about myself that is... it is good to share.. good to be able to come here and open up.... without criticism! LOL

Aveline…how I agree. After all Church is community NOT the building. At our Church it was Harvest Festival yesterday and there was a Harvest lunch afterwards to which everyone was invited. I have done pastoral visits for the lonely, and was pleased that someone in particular attended.
All I would say is unless you have a particular religious affiliation you pick a Church close to home you can walk to.

Is there a chance that you're suffering from mild depression, with the thought of long dark nights making you feel worse. I'de get out and about as much as I could during the day, then you'd feel more like a bit of peace and rest during the evenings. Try not to depend on others to fill your life.

Romola....I am so sorry to read that. Look on the list of groups on here. I am sure there is one for bereavement. Sending peace and caring x

Sad to read your message and understand how it feels to be lonely - it tends to bubble up and then into a panic. You don’t say what your circumstances are - is it just tonight you are on your own? I am 71 and have lived on my own for 30 years after my daughters left for Uni, so I am generally quite content on my own. I do admit to being lonely sometimes, usually something is going on that I want to share. I’m busy during the week with U3A groups and often relish time on my own, catching up with emails to family and friends, watching a film on tv or just having an afternoon snooze on my bed. I tend to treat myself to a nice Saturday evening supper. I have even taken myself off to the cinema! Hope you feel more positive soon.

Hi Knittingnovice
Very courageous to admit you are lonely. There is nothing shameful about it either.
Sending you a big hug.
Xxx

Knittingnovice

I'm surprised at some comments although I haven't said much in the post. It's not so much being alone, it's that in an emergency I have nobody to call.

I'm usually OK alone but not this weekend

Perhaps that’s the issue-having no-one to call on. I live on my own and spend a lot of time alone but I have family, friends and several good neighbours I could call on in an emergency. There’s a local social networking forum called Neighbour Next Door which might help you forge contacts in your area.

Not sure of your age, or even if it matters, but my Council (and my late Mum's one) has an emergency call system they can install...very cheaply. If you need help be it health, safety or even a plumber you press a button and they call you? Would that make you feel safer? The boxes is installed between your socket and phone, just plugs in...it is manned 24 hours a day. My daughter has one in supported housing too, so I don't think age can be an issue.

Dear Knitting novice.
I am sorry your feeling like this, most people I know feel like that sometimes, then something nice happens or a bit of kindness is given and you feel better. Like Grandmadinosaur, I cannot understand why people can be so unkind with their words. I'm quite sure you know all about groups etc.
Your not on your own. Lots of us feel like that sometimes. Take care

You need to find some inner resources ….read and garnish knowledge….volunteer to visit those folk who are REALLY lonely 24/7…. help the less able …. Work for a charity….watch some decent tv( not easy I know) listen to audible books….join U.3.A……decorate a room….decorate somebody else’s who is disabled maybe….dig a garden …plant a garden….pick litter left by uncaring anglers at riverside …. go into schools and listen to the ‘strugglers’ read…….and for goodness sake stop moaning!

Today is World Mental Health day, maybe some of you could reflect on what that means instead of posting unkind comments on here!

I am not lonely but I am very close to a few who are so desperately lonely for different reasons. My heart goes out to them and I wish that the lonely feeling could go away. Its not an easy one to cure but reading this thread I think would give comfort to someone lonely. Just the amount of responses and support would brighten someone’s mood.

BlueBalou

And I. Hate. Sundays too! I always have!

So do I! If I ever take my own life it will be on a Sunday afternoon.

I really don't like the "oh for goodness sake" attitude if some towards loneliness. People don't want to feel that way and when they come on here to talk about it they are just so hoping for some sort of virtual hug and comfort. For some cheery, outgoing people, loneliness is unimaginable - people flock round them. For some of us with more introverted personalities it's not so easy. Please be kind and think if the feelings of others.

Have you tried joining your local U3A group. They have a wide range of groups all for making friends to stop loneliness. You may discover a new interest