Spending weekend alone

I know that feeling too and despite working it was just myself. I turned it around eventually by prayer and keeping positive feelings that it would be answered. Nobody has the answers but you will find a way forward. Have faith my dear.

MawtheMerrier

^A lot of posts on this thread have been deleted by Gransnet which can only mean that there are some real b*tches on this site who take great delight in putting others down with their 'superior, smug' attitudes. You should be ashamed of yourselves if you've had a reply deleted. Grow Up!^

Really?
Send me to Specsavers but I could only see two deletions.
Mine was a picture which accidentally revealed my RL name so I asked GNHQ to delete it. Ashamed? Why should I be?
I don’t know what the other one said and can’t remember who it was by, but perhaps you could be less generous with the bitches accusations?
I think the” growing up” advice needs to be directed elsewhere.

So basically one post deleted !!

The problem is that being/feeling lonely can affect your self-confidence so you lack the courage or impetus to join U3A or other such organisations. I saw this with my mother after Dad died. Also lack of cash can have an impact. I've experienced all this, and would not like to go through it again but if DH dies before me I might well!

Can't understand the nasty replies on this thread. It's the sort of thing you get on mumsnet not gransnet!

I sympathise. I’ve always felt like this, even in the large family in which I was raised. I find writing a great way of coping and always have. It’s a way of sharing but no, if you see what I mean. Take heart , friend. There’s a lovely world out there. Xx

Ramola I am sorry to read your post. Yes there is a bereavement thread.
There are Gransnet meetups for local people to meet in person. I have enjoyed several of these.
Since DH died I have very gradually joined groups so that I could be busy all day every day if I wanted to but I now like to keep at least one day a week for just me

I was going to suggest this too. I think many elderly people in care homes would really enjoy a chat, sharing an activity, a walk etc. Not all will have family who can visit regularly or maybe don’t even have any relatives.
Or…..are there ‘befriending’ organisations? through which you could visit or phone someone who is unable to leave home and lives alone. May provide an ongoing connection with others you can contact in empty moments in your time? Sounds like you have other interests and a working life so, I expect you’d have plenty to chat about?

And those people who have been unkind and thoughtless on Mental Health day.
Glad the majority were kind.
All the best.

I’ve yet again put my comment at the end instead of below what I’m commenting on! ? I was responding to Nicolenet

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I too feel dismayed by those people self satisfied?/sharp elbowed enough to make such churlish comments. It has put me off making comments tbh……..but, in reality, this is how it is!
I’m sure we’ve all experienced ‘know it all’s’ and those who give ‘advice’ , make uninvited personal comments etc etc. They’ll always be there!

Yes they will Hetty I think the trouble is that at times when you are vulnerable one tends to read the "nasty ones" and take them to heart rather than the other well intentioned and kind ones.

I've gained so much reading through! But I will add a little agreement about being able to access all the good ideas. There are levels of loneliness where the isn't the "oooompf" to go out and join in either emotionally or physically, but thank goodness for the internet and Zoom rooms and so on.

I’m really surprised by some of the mean sounding responses to this poster. Being lonely whether for a day or a longer is not something people should be unkind about.

When my nephew was in hospital after a stroke I found him talking to another man in the dayroom. He left after a few minutes and I assumed he was a friend. It turned out that my nephew did not know him at all, and previously he had been talking to another patient. He used to go into the hospital a couple of times a week and just hang about in the TV room chatting to people. None of them knew him. He left as soon as they got "real" visitors. We speculated that he was just a chatty person and he just enjoyed talking to people. Maybe he was also loney as well. Just another suggestion as to where you can find people sitting around with little to do and glad to see a friendly face.

It's possible to be lonely in controlling relationship. While loneliness can create negative thoughts if it goes on for Amy length of time, it also createa type of freedom if you use the time positively.

I am afraid of feeling how you are feeling, Knittingnovice. My husband has Alzheimers and I have felt my world become smaller as I care for him and keep him happy.

It’s not always as easy as you make it sound.

This message belonged much further up but it’s been put at the end! It was in response to some unkind person just telling the poster to keep busy. I’m astonished at some of the unkind comments. Loneliness isn’t always easy to overcome - however busy we keep.

Kandinsky

Hi op,
Sorry you’re feeling lonely.
I hope this doesn’t sound flippant, but have you considered getting a pet? I know a cat or dog will never take the place of a loved one, but just having someone else to buy food for, think about, take for a walk, can really help.
All the best x

I agree. I know I would grow tired of living alone without my pets. I’ve always loved cats and have strays who needed me at a time when I needed them. Then I got a dog and now I have a happy little family here. They bring me joy every day.

MissieandOllie

This message belonged much further up but it’s been put at the end! It was in response to some unkind person just telling the poster to keep busy. I’m astonished at some of the unkind comments. Loneliness isn’t always easy to overcome - however busy we keep.

Some of the replies were abrupt and dismissive. We’re all different in our feelings and ways of coping with difficulties. Supporting one another should be the easy part.

I can fully understand the feeling of loneliness.
I was living with my partner for several years until I decided to leave.
I’ve always enjoyed my own space and now live alone.
I don’t really feel lonely, I’m fortunate, have family close by and have a lot of very good friends who I see on a regular basis.
I enjoy walking and actually enjoy walking on my own.
However that’s not for everyone so I quite understand.
My advice is join a group, put yourself out there and hopefully you’ll become less lonely.
Good luck.

Grandmadinosaur, I completely agree with you. Everyone can be lonely, that's how the word came to exist; we're all dfifferent, too.
Knittingnovice, is there some kind of a group for people who prefer company at night? I remember my mother-in-law and a friend often disliked being alone at night, so they took turns to ring each other in the dark hours, every night.

This is a useful article on loneliness from Mind, and some tips on coping when feeling lonely -

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/tips-to-manage-loneliness/#TryPeerSupport

Knittingnovice - I think you simply need to find out who you are on your own. Instead of being somebody bouncing off other people. Feeling ashamed about feeling lonely is a telling statement. There is nothing shameful about it. Millions of people are on their own in the world. Do you think they feel guilty about it? For you its simply a new experience which has to be learned. Don't feel frightened about being alone.

Ignore all the negative comments. Please. We are not all so judgemental and mean. Most of us are quite able to empathise with you.

It takes some getting used to I can tell you. But once I got used to it I loved it. It is a sad fact today alot of us are alone and feel it more than others. I think some people on here should stop taking the nasty pills. Someone reached out for support and got rebuked. I agree try joining some other groups on the days you are alone. I love just watching others on you tube crafting. It's someone talking. But also volunteering is a great suggestion. Even a couple of hours in a charity shop. Loads of people chat in there. I hope you do find a solution you have hobbies which I think is a good conversation starter