Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

The fuel shortage has caused untold problems and worry for
many people but generally the French population understand strike action. In this case the refinery workers went on strike for a pay rise and in protest at the huge profits made by the likes of Total and Esso during the recent rise in fuel prices and the payment of bonuses - as usual - to shareholders The strike was understandable and highlighted yet again corporation greed.
Happily its nearly over and petrol flows again as does mustard.

When I returned after 14 years I thought I would fit right in, after all I was back “home”.
It came as a huge shock that it all felt so alien.

This country is in a terrible mess, but my friends all over the world have similar complaints regarding where they are based. Admittedly they are not having to face Tory corruption and incompetence but the cost of living problems, especially the cost of energy, is affecting people everywhere.
You special problem is not feeling welcomed by family. You are probably going to have to accept that and concentrate on making friends and enjoying life where you are.
I hope you settle.

I totally understand how you feel. When we moved back from the Netherlands I felt totally displaced. This country felt alien as so much had changed in the years we had been away.
We went back this summer which made me homesick for Holland all over again. I loved our way of life there and have many close friends.

However I do realise that I am idealising life over there. Things have moved on there to and they have the same problems we do - high inflation etc.

I hope you manage to settle here I know it is hard.

“Home is where the heart is” or so they say and for me that is more about people than places.
I miss the life we had in London 30 years ago before we moved to our present village but you can’t turn the clock back can you? There have been advantages and disadvantages, but that is life isn’t it?
When I said “put our big girl pants on” that was meant to initiate a fair appraisal of what OP misses, why she moved and why it doesn’t seem to have turned out well. To agree what they can do about it, and then agree on a course of action.
I think OP is very fortunate that she seems to have both her health and her OH in their mid-late 70’s and hope they can arrive at the right decision to enjoy the years they have left instead of looking back with nostalgia and regret.

I think your comments on this thread are very sensible ones MawThe Merrier
I hope people will not indulge in doing down the UK, and as we know all of Europe, and further, are having hard times.
The OP is more concerned that having moved near to her family, they are still not seeing the grandchildren much more.

Look at it this way, you have had a wonderful time abroad and probably sampled the best that each country had to offer. Now back in the UK you have had time to take stock and of course there will be nostalgia and longings for past experiences.
But now is now and it sounds as if there are other issues troubling you. I would examine the family dynamics and if you aren't enjoying being where you are and Herts doesn't offer what you want, then pack up and head back to the coast.

Fleurpepper I notice you have tried to drag your contributions from this thread onto a different political thread. Is that to entice the whole readership of GN to join in doing the UK fitness?

There are of course problems everywhere with energy prices and cost of living- that is indeed true.

But I can assure you, no-where in Europe is going through the massive divisions we have currently in the UK. And the UK has add the huge upheaval and consequences of Brexit, which has made very single issue other EU countries are facing, so much worse.

One of the reasons OP mentionned, was returning to Healthcare where they could communitcate well with Doctors. And they possibly had in mind the wonderful NHS they knew before. But are now faced with not being able to get appointments, and even then, be put on massive waiting lists, unless they are very rich and can afford private heatlh care. I can assure you all, the the German, Dutch, French health services are running smoothly, with no waiting lists, or very short.

As said, many comments were supportive- but the words chosen by some seemed patronising and lacking in empathy.

I have many friends who are expats/immigrants all over EU, and all are saying the same 'we would rather have to tighten our belt VERY hard, than go back now. And many friends and family in the UK who are saying 'oh we wish we had gone when we could', and young ones planning their escape.

Believe me, or not.

But feel for the OP, I do most sincerely. And yes, family issues will make those concerns worse.

fitness what? doing the UK down.

I think friends are the answer and you probably need to join some things and find a few people you like to spend time with. There is nothing worse than that loneliness you feel when you start life in a new country, it is horrible but you need to push yourself into finding out what is around and joining things. I know , a lot easier said than done but it is the way to go.

I think it is the language issues the OP is worried about where future healthcare was concerned, ie communicating one's problems.
it is often extremely difficult becoming old and infirm in one's own language, let alone a foreign one where specialist expressions are well nigh incomprehensible. So that was also a deciding factor. Not waiting times or tightening her belt.

Sincere and grateful thanks to all those who have responded positively and with empathy - very grateful to you all, especially those who have been through a similar experience and particularly to Fleurpepper, whose words brought comfort.

But I can assure you, no-where in Europe is going through the massive divisions we have currently in the UK. And the UK has add the huge upheaval and consequences of Brexit, which has made very single issue other EU countries are facing, so much worse
?Oh I knew Brexit was to blame -as indeed it is for everything isn’t it??
Even if it were, the joy of being nearer my AC and grandchildren would make up for a heck of a lot.

Brexit is very much part ot it, for sure. All EU countries are facing difficulties now, but Brexit has made it all so much worse for the UK, this is undeniable.

''Even if it were, the joy of being nearer my AC and grandchildren would make up for a heck of a lot.,,

indeed. But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind.

But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind

They've always done that though! It's called being adventurous. Weren't you?
Better climes yes, although the weather shouldn't be the only factor.

?

nanna8

I think friends are the answer and you probably need to join some things and find a few people you like to spend time with. There is nothing worse than that loneliness you feel when you start life in a new country, it is horrible but you need to push yourself into finding out what is around and joining things. I know , a lot easier said than done but it is the way to go.

Yes, I agree.

It's not as easy when you're older though although there are more opportunities now for joining societies and clubs.

Have you investigated U3A CountessFosco? Even small towns may offer a wealth of activities and opportunities to meet people.
Or volunteering if you're fit enough?

I have many friends who are expats/immigrants all over EU, and all are saying the same 'we would rather have to tighten our belt VERY hard, than go back now

Well, that's quite a relief as, if they all rushed back, it would burden our already over-burdened NHS even more.

It is not running the UK down to say that we really are in a dreadful mess at the moment.
I think some of Countess' problems stem from 'having choice'. It has never occurred to me to live anywhere other than England; so to me, I do my best to make it a better place to live. However, if your life has been nomadic, you see it through different lens.
Of course other countries have problems, but sometimes it's abut which set of problems you can best live with, or best understand.

I think that if you really are stuck here, then the only thing to do is what you must have done several times - treat this as a foreign land into which you have been parachuted and where you have to make the best life you can.

And, however trite, do count your blessings.

Fleurpepper

Brexit is very much part ot it, for sure. All EU countries are facing difficulties now, but Brexit has made it all so much worse for the UK, this is undeniable.

I agree and think the brexitiers are as usual bringing Europe into the mix as an excuse. Of course there are cost of living problems for us all
But there is not the mess and despair of the Brexit problems to add to them.
I feel downhearted each day to see the headlines on the never ending conservative mess

But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind.

Young adults have done this for centuries. why else would so many of us have family in Australia/New Zealand/ US etc?
But this is patently not the case for OP, rather the reverse.
So an irrelevance.

MawtheMerrier

^But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind^.

Young adults have done this for centuries. why else would so many of us have family in Australia/New Zealand/ US etc?
But this is patently not the case for OP, rather the reverse.
So an irrelevance.

My great-grandparents did just that in the mid-1800s but found that foreign climes (America) were not exactly the promised land they thought, so returned to the UK. Thank goodness.

Others ventured elsewhere and stayed.

We did it - and came back pronto!!

MawtheMerrier

^But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind^.

Young adults have done this for centuries. why else would so many of us have family in Australia/New Zealand/ US etc?
But this is patently not the case for OP, rather the reverse.
So an irrelevance.

The relevance being that so many GPs have moved to live near ACs and GCs- and those moved to somewhere else, be it in the country or beyond, even across the world.

Yes, been done for centuries- but the numbers leaving have always been much larger when the country has been in a severe crisis, as now.

The relevance being that so many GPs have moved to live near ACs and GCs- and those moved to somewhere else, be it in the country or beyond, even across the world

Bluebelle did say that much earlier in the thread and I agreed with her.

Having seen it happen a few times, then parents are left behind somewhere they don't particularly want to be because DC get promotion, move for jobs elsewhere or just get itchy feet.
Parents are left with the dilemma of whether or not to follow them again or stay and make the best of it.