Self care and self neglect

Oh yes and I haven’t ironed anything for decades!!

RillaofIngleside - are you an A of G G fan? Read this book during lockdown. Just finished Rainbow Valley which I spotted in the library. Apologies for altering the course of this thread. Is it possible to personally message someone on Gransnet? Was just intrigued by your name.

I feel for you, but why not try a wig? Celebrities use them constantly and no one thinks anything of it so hopefully you would feel better?

Hamster58 wigs are very uncomfortable to wear for more than a couple of hours because they make your head very hot and itchy plus they rub the scalp and cause irritation and friction. If your hair is fine and fragile wigs can cause even more damage to it.

Those look ideal sparkynan thank you.

I always look to the future.I come from a long lived family. I am 79 and my DF's youngest sister is still going strong at 95 and more and more people are reaching that age.

I intend to die with a new 5 year plan about to be started.

I love ironing and enjoy the whole laundry process, making everything look as good as new. I also polish my shoes and boots, sew on loose buttons and dress with care. I matter as much as anyone but I do know what you mean, VioletSky. Put yourself first most if not all the time. You will feel so much better!

Hi LynW
I love AGG, have the whole series and read and reread them. I was introduced to them by my mum who passed her series onto me. So few people know them nowadays.

hi Kate self care is related to our ego -our sense of self if we feel we are failing to care for ourself can relate to difficulties in childhood where our needs were not met -this can lead us to believe our needs are not important and result in us learning to put ourself last because we feel we are not deserving . this pattern of behaviour will continue until we face it head on which can be very frightening . Sometimes counselling can help and support you to challenge these beliefs but the most difficult part is asking for the help.

I am getting better at self-care. I get up at least a half-hour before everyone else so I can have my coffee in peace and read the finnies in our local paper. I also have been getting gel manicures every 6 weeks or so. Only took me 40 years to get back into the habit of doing things for myself. Also learning to say no was a big one. I still do alot, but the guilt isn't thete if I have to say no.

nancynunu

hi Kate self care is related to our ego -our sense of self if we feel we are failing to care for ourself can relate to difficulties in childhood where our needs were not met -this can lead us to believe our needs are not important and result in us learning to put ourself last because we feel we are not deserving . this pattern of behaviour will continue until we face it head on which can be very frightening . Sometimes counselling can help and support you to challenge these beliefs but the most difficult part is asking for the help.

Yes sadly

Growing up with people who unfairly tell you who you are also leads to many issues

ileea

I am getting better at self-care. I get up at least a half-hour before everyone else so I can have my coffee in peace and read the finnies in our local paper. I also have been getting gel manicures every 6 weeks or so. Only took me 40 years to get back into the habit of doing things for myself. Also learning to say no was a big one. I still do alot, but the guilt isn't thete if I have to say no.

Saying no! That's another big one

Saying no can be very difficult especially if it involves emotional blackmail in any way. I have experience of this.

As far as ironing is concerned I really enjoy it. I like to look after my clothes as I value them after a childhood going to jumble sales and only choosing clothes from a catalogue. A trip to the shops was a real treat to buy something new.

Rilla, thanks for answering. Lovely to find another AGG fan. Is there anyway I can personally message you as don’t want to hijack this thread? What country are you in?

Hello Lyn, click on the three little squares on one of Rillas posts. You will have the option to pm her from there.
Alternatively you can click on your inbox and do it that way.
You will get an email when you receive a reply.
Some people’s ‘bell’ shakes when they have a pm, but mine doesn’t

Thanks for helping Fanny. I thought there must be some way of doing it. Much appreciated - I’ll try it.

Well. I've got to take my ancient mother to a hospital appointment this afternoon. Now the hospital have phoned to say they'd like my chronically sick husband there at midday.. the district nurse has only this minute left. I've spent the morning clearing up for her arrival, and also mopping up a flood in the bathroom, contacting the plumber, feeding cats etc.. ironing??! Hah! ((Did I mention the hospital is a 70 mins round trip? Twice!) Obviously the DH never does any housework. AND my hair is thin! But then, it always was. This too will pass. . .

Bridgie

Got a bit carried away there, what I meant to say was: who lobs a pile of already dry of duvet covers, jeans, teeshirts etc into the drier with a clean wet sock or flannel? I wouldn't do it to a wedding outfit, but for every day it's a help

Well, I have a new wig.

Now I can go about my day looking like a fat, slightly yellow version of Bonnie Tyler.

I have a morning routine which is my personal care. I start by washing up, brushing my teeth, lymphatic facial/ neck massage, lotion etc. I sit and have breakfast and my devotions and a cup of Java once everyone's off to school or work.
But just as importantly is my mental and physical care. I go for walks or work in the yard. Amazingly enough this is so therapeutic. I struggled with an anxiety disorder during my younger years and discussed with the doctors the fact that I didn't want to live medicated. A good friend(doctor) gave me some naturopathy advise and I've lived by it since. The dirt in my garden and flowerbeds and even the lawn mowing (listening to music on my headset) are part of that care. It works!

Bridgepoo

Why not not go to hospital once with both and mother at same time? You also need to take care of your own stress level

P.S. Learning my limits and when to say no like violet said was hard for me to do but also essential. Learning to step away and just breathe.

I don’t really do anything special for self care. At the moment I’m struggling quite a lot anyway and feel pretty dreadful when I wake up. I wait for that to pass usually, it takes a couple of hours.

Sorry to hear that, maddy.

Thanks MissA there a lot going on in my life at the moment and I’m really finding it hard.