Do some of you share this thought about the future?

Applegran What do others remind them selves to be grateful for right now?

Our marriage, our health, our children and theirs, our modest home and lifestyle - a wonderful place to grow older, our faith.

I used to work for a market research company. The greatest fear older people expressed as "losing their independence" followed by "my health breaking down." I dont ever recall anyone giving losing their partner as their top fear/dread.

I dont have a partner so its not something I need to think about. I have always felt complete in myself.

I dread the thought of losing Mr. B but it doesn’t prey on my mind. He has a better life expectancy than me so I have made sure he will be OK financially if I die. Not being morbid, but I’ve had a few life threatening moments.

As time goes on, I realise that we are both lucky to be here - me at 73, DH 76. We have lost far younger people in our family and I have friends who have lost their partners as I know many Gransnetters have. My DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer 8 years ago and, after treatment, is in remission so far. 🤞

I was widowed young, many years ago. I coped well, I think, and have never wanted to remarry, The only things I fear for myself are painful illness, or dementia. I have many fears for my children, though. illness, accidents, losing their partners.

I am very grateful for my children and my grandchildren. I’ve never taken them for granted. I’m also very relieved that we all - so far! - have no financial worries..

I don’t have a Mr Blue he went (by my choice) a long time ago and I have been alone so long it is my normal
My only concern is to not being a burden and not having a painful or dementia dominated older age

Did I dread widowhood? No, TBH I didn’t give it much thought even though Paw had been living on borrowed time since 1997. We took each day as it came -some good, some bad, some worse.
I had no concept of what it would be like either (note-it ain’t good) but I think what I dread more than anything is seeing the same thing happen to any of my daughters, or to see my DGC lose either parent.
I am also wary of what the future might hold if I am either mentally or physically able to manage on my own, but worrying won’t prevent those happening if they are going to.
So what am I grateful for? That I can look back to (most of ) my 74 years without regret, but very conscious of all I took for granted.

I worry about losing DH though he is much fitter than me his father died at 57. He does most of the driving, we have been together through thick and thin on and of since our teens.
I would miss our arguments which are daily and his one-liners that always make me laugh though not always others.
I don't worry about dementia for myself hopefully I will not know but I do for the impact it will have on the family, and I don't want DH putting me on the toilet or into the shower.
Maybe I have a bit of growing up to do, I hope I will when and if I have to.

I've been single for years now and have got used to it. I dread becoming a nuisance to my sons. And dementia.
I feel so sorry for the happily married who lose their partner after a lifetime together.

My worries, if asked are the "ordinary" ones outlined by everyone above.

On a sillier note I do sometimes worry about all the stuff I have - mainly the things (still in boxes) from my mother and father. It worries me (in a low key way) as I don't want my family to have to worry about it should I suddenly die!

I regularly feel I should be "dealing with it" and wish I could just set a month aside to get it done.

Like others, I am truly blessed that I still have a Mr Spaghetti - and further blessed that I still love him. It has been a good marriage so far and I think we have been extremely lucky as we were very young.

It's just coming up to the 2nd anniversary of DH death so I am very aware of my new status
We did know it was coming but you can not know until it happens how you will be.

I have actually surprised myself that I manage to function.
I have a busy life (too busy) but I miss him in such unexpected ways.
I was at a book launch today and as I was asking the author to sign my copy, he asked if there was someone he should dedicate it to.

The tears welled up.

Yammy My husband's parents both died in their 50s. His mum was 52 and his dad was 57. He's still here at 76 despite a few blips. He was dreading getting to 50 as he thought 'This is it'. It wasn't.

Grammaretto

Kate1949

Yammy My husband's parents both died in their 50s. His mum was 52 and his dad was 57. He's still here at 76 despite a few blips. He was dreading getting to 50 as he thought 'This is it'. It wasn't.

Thanks, Kate 1949, for the reassurance. I think my DH heaved a sigh of relief when he got into his 60s in fact we both did. His father did not have a long illness and we all got such a shock. Mine, on the other hand, was 69 but had been ill for years I think in a way my mum was relieved it was all over for him, constant heart surgery, kidney failure etc. I can feel how your husband would worry until he passed his 50's.
Both our mothers lived into their 80s and my aunt well into her 90's.
To hear people on Gansnet say how they have had to cope is reassuring and if it comes to it I hope I will as well. It's the one-liners I would miss.

Grammaretto I would have yowled never mind filling up.My mum always said it was the daft little things that set her off like his favourite T.V.programme or his friends coming to see how she was.

We'll Yammy my own mother died at 58 when I was 23. My youngest sister was only 14 at the time. I assumed I would do the same. However my mother had 7 children and a terrible life. Things are easier these days I think.

It's a constant worry for me , I'm 58 and hubbie is 56. He took early retirement this year due to having a final salary pension. We've only been married 12 years , second marriage for both with adult children . Hubbie is a heavy smoker, has been for 40 years ,he drinks beer every night. He's overweight. His smokers cough is dreadful, keeps us both awake at night , he refusing to talk about it , or see a doctor. So I feel like I'm living with a ticking time bomb

Both DH parents outlived him. I would hate to lose a child, ever. It's the wrong order.
They are what keep me going.

I remind myself to be grateful for
meeting my DH when I was 16, he was 19. We married when I was 19 and he was 22. We have celebrated our 61st wedding anniversary. Had three wonderful children from whom came 7 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren.
He has been my rock through recent ill health, (having never thought I would succumb).
What more can I say,

I'm single now grieving for a marriage that went wrong (abuse) but there was Love there and its the everyday things I miss.

But in terms of fears I wasn't aware of what they really were until my very disabled granddaughter got really ill - unexpectedly as she doesn't have breathing problems at all - during Covid for a week.

I remember crying to myself, "take me, instead, it's not right". so I guess I found out.

Gramaretto 💐

My parents died in their early 60's, 19 days apart. I was apprehensive about reaching and passing the 2 dates but I am now 79.

I am well past 3 score years +10.

I am very much on my own with no relatives.

My husband is 20 years older. He is in fairly good health but I still wonder if we are living on borrowed time. He's my second husband and the love of my life. Just trying to make the most of our time together. I dread a life without him.

I agree with the OP. Looking back I am very grateful for having spent the whole of my adult life as half of a couple (since I was 14 and he was 18).

I realise just how interdependent we have become and dread having to cope on my own.

We are not joined at the hip. We each have our own interests but we are so used to being there for each other.

I don't take it for granted - we do seem to be going to quite a lot of funerals these days and at some time we (or most likely I) will have to manage life on our own.

It is helpful to see the posts of GNetters who have passed through this dreadful part of their lives - this vale of tears- - and emerged at the other side able to cope.